u/Mindless-Brick-259

UPDATE:

I'm 21F and he's 21M. Our families have known each other for years, and our older brothers are close friends, so there's a lot of history and a lot of reasons to keep things private.

A few months ago we started talking more and it turned into this weird in-between situation. At first we both agreed we didn't want a relationship. He even said he wasn't romantically attracted to me and suggested something casual because we were both inexperienced. We kissed (both of our first kisses), cuddled, made out, and got physically intimate, but we never had sex.

Over time things got... confusing.

Whenever we're together in person, it feels incredibly natural. We can spend hours talking, joking around, cuddling, or just sitting in silence. I feel unusually safe around him, and he has told me he gets carried away with me and has to intentionally limit how often we see each other because he gets attached.

The problem is that neither of us actually seems to want a relationship with the other.

We've had multiple conversations where we've basically agreed:

• We don't see ourselves dating each other seriously.
• We both want to focus on our own lives and goals.
• The family situation would make dating complicated.
• The physical side started feeling like it was crossing lines we weren't comfortable crossing.

So we decided to pull things back.

But emotionally, it doesn't feel like a normal friendship either.

We text most days. He notices when I don't reply. I miss him sometimes, but not in a stereotypical "I want him to be my boyfriend" way. I mostly miss how calm and safe I feel when we're together. At the same time, I also know that when he does certain things being like late, pushing things sexually, or acting in ways that don't align with my values, I get turned off pretty quickly.

The confusing part is that the emotional connection feels stronger than the romantic one.

It almost feels like we accidentally skipped friendship and dating and landed somewhere that doesn't really have a label. There's genuine affection, trust, comfort, physical attraction, and emotional attachment, but neither of us is looking at the other and thinking, "I want to build a future with this person."

So now we're trying to become "just friends" again, but that's proving harder than either of us expected because we've already crossed so many emotional and physical boundaries. Another thing is that he told me "never in a million years did I think i'd be holding you I always thought it was something I'd think about but never have a chance of experiencing" and i responded back saying yeah I wouldn't have ever thought this would happen between us either. And its true because i've never thought about it and I'm not saying this to be cruel but I'm not attracted to him when I'm not near him like I feel the attracted after I'm turned on I don't feel it before or just by looking at him. It's how he makes me feel in the moment, so safe.

Has anyone else experienced a connection where you cared deeply about someone, felt completely safe with them, had amazing chemistry in person, but still didn't actually want to date them? Is this just attachment, or is it something else entirely?

ORGINAL POST (posted 3 months ago):
I need an outside perspective because this situation feels weird and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if something is genuinely off.

I (20F) have known this guy (21M) for years through family/friends. Our families know each other, so this isn’t some random guy and we went to high school together.

The confusing part is when we hang out during the day, everything feels completely normal. We talk, joke around, have good conversations, and it honestly feels like a healthy, comfortable friendship. Sometimes it even feels cozy in a completely non-romantic way.

But when we hang out at night, especially one-on-one, the entire vibe changes.

We’ll start doing something normal like watching a movie, but then we both keep getting distracted and talking about random things instead of the movie. He keeps looking at me instead of the screen and trying to grab my attention into a shared moment. There’s a weird amount of eye contact and we’ll start bantering and he’ll say things like “we’re bickering like an old couple.”

At one point we were arm wrestling and I couldn’t even look at him properly because it suddenly felt too intense, and he literally called it out and held eye contact.

There’s also been moments where he’s said things like “let’s push some boundaries” (like what does he mean by that?), he’s made random comments that feel like testing the vibe but never commits to anything, he’ll say something slightly out of pocket (like rating both of us low as a “joke”) and then backtrack when I say I hate the whole "rate this person a 1-10."

What’s really throwing me off is that neither of us actually likes each other like that (at least I don't).

But in those nighttime situations, it feels like there’s tension, we’re both aware of it, neither of us addresses it and it just keeps building.

Nothing has actually happened, but it feels like it could if we kept putting ourselves in that environment.

The weirdest part is that neither of us wants to end the hangout, we literally had to push each other just to even consider leaving and afterwards I always feel like “what was that??”

Also worth mentioning our families are friends. My mom even told me it might start “looking wrong” if I keep being at his house so late.

So I’ve decided no more late-night one-on-one hangs, daytime only or group settings, leaving earlier no matter what. But one time I went over to his house just to help him do chores and fold laundry and he said he doesn't want to "corrupt me" because I'm super innocent.

But I’m still trying to understand what this dynamic is??

Is this actual attraction that neither of us wants to admit?
Just situational tension from being opposite sex + alone at night?
Him testing boundaries without wanting anything real?

Just two people accidentally creating a weird environment?

Would love a blunt, outside perspective.

We've known each other for years (as friends and nothing more) and he told me the other day that he didn't think he would ever have a chance with me and that he's been attracted to me for years even though he only sees me as a friend and i couldn't believe i ever gave into it but he wanted to explore, i agreed and now I keep thinking about how good his penis felt in my mouth and how good his kisses felt.

But we decided to stop because we were both getting too attached to each other (bordering unhealthy attachment) and we don't see each other romantically. Plus our friendship is good as it is and we don't want anything beyond that anymore now that we've been there and tried it out.

My entire camera roll is full of inspo pics for my job, life advice, meaningful quotes, memories and goals that i want to achieve alongside wholesome moments i've seen on the internet that give me hope.

So I am trying to pic out photos to put into specific journals:
Journal 1: makeup inspo photos I want to do on my clients (for my viewing only though and annotations next to each photo of how i will do the look and specific details etc)
Journal 2: Dream car photos
Journal 3: wholesome moments i've seen online that constantly restore my faith in humanity everytime i see them in my camera roll.
Journal 4: ETC.

I am doing this because a. I want to clear out my phone storage BUT b. because my camera roll gets so crowded it feels. overwhelming trying to find photos when they just get lost in the volume of photos.

So i am wondering if there is a specific term for this kind of scrapbooking. Basically a vision board of curated images but journal-style.

Any and all tips and tricks are welcome because I am not a regular scrapbooker, thank you in advance!

I need an outside perspective because this situation feels weird and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if something is genuinely off.

I (20F) have known this guy (21M) for years through family/friends. Our families know each other, so this isn’t some random guy and we went to high school together.

The confusing part is when we hang out during the day, everything feels completely normal. We talk, joke around, have good conversations, and it honestly feels like a healthy, comfortable friendship. Sometimes it even feels cozy in a completely non-romantic way.

But when we hang out at night, especially one-on-one, the entire vibe changes.

We’ll start doing something normal like watching a movie, but then we both keep getting distracted and talking about random things instead of the movie. He keeps looking at me instead of the screen and trying to grab my attention into a shared moment. There’s a weird amount of eye contact and we’ll start bantering and he’ll say things like “we’re bickering like an old couple.”

At one point we were arm wrestling and I couldn’t even look at him properly because it suddenly felt too intense, and he literally called it out and held eye contact.

There’s also been moments where he’s said things like “let’s push some boundaries” (like what does he mean by that?), he’s made random comments that feel like testing the vibe but never commits to anything, he’ll say something slightly out of pocket (like rating both of us low as a “joke”) and then backtrack when I say I hate the whole "rate this person a 1-10."

What’s really throwing me off is that neither of us actually likes each other like that (at least I don't).

But in those nighttime situations, it feels like there’s tension, we’re both aware of it, neither of us addresses it and it just keeps building.

Nothing has actually happened, but it feels like it could if we kept putting ourselves in that environment.

The weirdest part is that neither of us wants to end the hangout, we literally had to push each other just to even consider leaving and afterwards I always feel like “what was that??”

Also worth mentioning our families are friends. My mom even told me it might start “looking wrong” if I keep being at his house so late.

So I’ve decided no more late-night one-on-one hangs, daytime only or group settings, leaving earlier no matter what. But one time I went over to his house just to help him do chores and fold laundry and he said he doesn't want to "corrupt me" because I'm super innocent.

But I’m still trying to understand what this dynamic is??

Is this actual attraction that neither of us wants to admit?
Just situational tension from being opposite sex + alone at night?
Him testing boundaries without wanting anything real?

Just two people accidentally creating a weird environment?

Would love a blunt, outside perspective.

I started a service-based business from my parents basement doing beauty services but I am struggling to get clients in. I don't really have a business plan and I get maybe 15 inquiries a month and i've been doing this on the side to make an extra couple hundred per month but I'm not even making that at the moment. Last year I made $1500. TOTAL. Not even fully from my "business" either.

How do I scale and get 3 clients minimum per week? I don't have a part time job, summer school is starting in 2 weeks and I feel like an absolute ball of shit loser.

HOW/WHAT do i do get more booked clients?

I will admit i had a work ethic problem before because I wasn't really trying but now i'm getting inquiries but my persuasion fucking sucks because I can't get a single person to book. My beauty skills are not the issue. I work slow but my results are good. The issue is how i bring in the clients.

HELP?!