u/Mindless_Mood3851

Thanks, specific centres etc would be great

Hi everyone

I had an unplanned preg… I decided to keep and I’m 22 weeks. I’m SO anxious about everything, did I really want to be a parent? Did I make the right decision? Have I refined our lives? Will I cope? Will I be happy? Have I given up on my dreams? Is birth and PP going to break me?

I know every experience is unique and reassurance isn’t really helping but would love to hear your stories, especially from the UK.

I am so so so so scared. Thought it would settle but it hasn’t.

I am 34F with a long term gorgeous partner who I absolutely adore.

We thought we wanted to have children but in all honesty both had doubts and didn’t talk about it enough in hindsight. BAM! pregnant first time,

Considered abortion but didn’t really have the guts- thought it was just first tri blues/hormones.

It didn’t fade… I’m 22 weeks and just totally regret the pregnancy. It’s changed everything that was previously happy - my career, relationship, finances, mental health - and im SO detached. My identity has totally gone. None of my mates have kids near me. We were DINKs…and it was great.

All these pregnant and scared posts… bollox. Just listen to your gut. It’s ok to take the pill.

So my word of advice is… firstly please think fully before TTC. Then please don’t ‘hope’ feelings will change or clarity will arrive. Don’t ‘wait and see’. Dont worry about others fertility journeys or if they’re having kids. Dont let anyone tell you it’s just hormones or pre natal depression. I’m a very nice person and hold high values and I think it fucked with everything - I felt like I had to do this because I could. Everyone’s advice confused me.

It gets worse as your body changes with pregnancy too - feeling the kicks is horrific. I’m going to have to start buying baby stuff soon and my god…I just don’t give a shit. I actively don’t want the bb.

I realise I’d have been happy being CF… if you’re unsure and it’s early pls remember it’s your choice and the earlier the better if you want a termination. Don’t do what I’ve done.

Seek counselling from MSI etc they’re good at reminding you to put yourself first.

Dont look at all that pro life shit either… I was like ‘oh no it has a heart beat’ etc

My advice - if you’re unsure take the the pills, it’s got to be better than this. Id honestly rather regret the abortion and know what I want than this…

Everyone tells me I can do the things I think I’ll miss… but it’s not that it’s that I want to be childfree.

I’ll post from the other side when I can..