u/Miraculous_ladybug1

I've never liked wearing traditional salwar kameez/kurtis as much so never worn them. I was in a private school till now, they had normal shirts & skirts.

I really hate those articles of clothing on me, with my rank, I can get into top GNC in my state but the thought of wearing salwar kameez is troubling me. I also hate making buns but I get it that patient safety may be compromised so it's important.

I'm not trying to be offensive, please don't judge, I just really hate it. Is there any way I can cope with it?

I've decided on a backup option but just now I saw a post about the stethoscope white coat and the knowledge a doctor will hold, also got to know docs are paid 1-1.5L after graduation.

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this and it's extremely selfish of me but I just kinda feel bad that I couldn't do MBBS. I feel inferior to people who cleared Neet and that whatever I do, I'll never be of a doctor's standing in society, that my knowledge will always be inferior to a doctor's.

Again this is so very petty of me but after graduation they'll be earning lakhs per month and 12k as stipend during course while my salary probably wouldn't even be half of what they'll earn after MBBS.

The knowledge, the right to perform life altering surgeries, the social standing. Something I'll never hold.

Also, I'm not blaming anyone. It's on me completely that I couldn't clear NEET and by no means am I demeaning the people who qualified, they earned the fruit of their hardwork.

It's just something that crossed my mind and will probably haunt me for years to come.

I've decided on a backup option but just now I saw a post about the stethoscope white coat and the knowledge a doctor will hold, also got to know docs are paid 1-1.5L after graduation.

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this and it's extremely selfish of me but I just kinda feel bad that I couldn't do MBBS. I feel inferior to people who cleared Neet and that whatever I do, I'll never be of a doctor's standing in society, that my knowledge will always be inferior to a doctor's.

Again this is so very petty of me but after graduation they'll be earning lakhs per month and 12k as stipend during course while my salary probably wouldn't even be half of what they'll earn after MBBS.

The knowledge, the right to perform life altering surgeries, the social standing. Something I'll never hold.

Also, I'm not blaming anyone. It's on me completely that I couldn't clear NEET and by no means am I demeaning the people who qualified, they earned the fruit of their hardwork.

It's just something that crossed my mind and will probably haunt me for years to come.

Please don't curse at me, I'm in a rough state mentally right now.

I've decided on a backup option but just now I saw a post about the stethoscope white coat and the knowledge a doctor will hold, also got to know docs are paid 1-1.5L after graduation.

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this and it's extremely selfish of me but I just kinda feel bad that I couldn't do MBBS. I feel inferior to people who cleared Neet and that whatever I do, I'll never be of a doctor's standing in society, that my knowledge will always be inferior to a doctor's.

Again this is so very petty of me but after graduation they'll be earning lakhs per month and 12k as stipend during course while my salary probably wouldn't even be half of what they'll earn after MBBS.

The knowledge, the right to perform life altering surgeries, the social standing. Something I'll never hold.

Also, I'm not blaming anyone. It's on me completely that I couldn't clear NEET and by no means am I demeaning the people who qualified, they earned the fruit of their hardwork.

It's just something that crossed my mind and will probably haunt me for years to come.

I've decided on a backup option but just now I saw a post about the stethoscope white coat and the knowledge a doctor will hold, also got to know docs are paid 1-1.5L after graduation.

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this and it's extremely selfish of me but I just kinda feel bad that I couldn't do MBBS. I feel inferior to people who cleared Neet and that whatever I do, I'll never be of a doctor's standing in society, that my knowledge will always be inferior to a doctor's.

Again this is so very petty of me but after graduation they'll be earning lakhs per month and 12k as stipend during course while my salary probably wouldn't even be half of what they'll earn after MBBS.

The knowledge, the right to perform life altering surgeries, the social standing. Something I'll never hold.

Also, I'm not blaming anyone. It's on me completely that I couldn't clear NEET and by no means am I demeaning the people who qualified, they earned the fruit of their hardwork.

It's just something that crossed my mind and will probably haunt me for years to come.

No fake or edited marks, I told them my real marks only. I've also told my parents that at my rank even private MBBS in my state would be impossible.

I had given exams as backup options and I've consulted with 2 teachers & they both said I've chances for a gov college for the course I'm targeting because last year kids with lesser score got in & the cutoff this year is expected to drop. I wasn't even thinking of this initially, it was my parents that asked me to fill the form though I'm on board with it now.

But because my parents wanted me to do MBBS and I scored low I was afraid they'd scold me & even hit me so I said I'd still go for counselling to see if I get anything & that I'd most likely only get a private college in other states but they require really high fees and I was sure they'd drop the idea of private because again, they are fine with my backup option too.

However now my mother is sending me fb reels like "private colleges in just 10 lakh" with thumbnails like 200 300 400 mein bhi milega college, she's also been being watching videos like these. She might just be watching them for "what if" but I'm scared something may rewire in her brain and they sell some properties and take loan to pay for private (they are living in some delusion that fresh mbbs grads make 1+L/month).

I'm exhausted thinking about this, I honestly am done.