AITA for not prioritizing a woman’s comfort?
So, I had a really interesting experience today and I thought I’d get some feedback from the good ol Reddit community.
I decided to go eat solo at an all you can eat buffet since I was alone at home for the day. The waitress took me to a prospective table but it was in the middle of the main dining room. I suffer from PTSD stemming from the work I did in my past, and sitting out in the open like that makes me extremely uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my meal. I kindly asked to be moved somewhere where I could put my back to a wall and the waitress understood and obliged.
As I was enjoying my meal, my succulent Chinese meal, (lol) the table in front of me is sat with 4 young ladies, I’d put their age range at early twenties. As I was eating one of the young ladies called out “do you mind?” To which the other 3 turn to look at me. I have no idea what they are talking about so she says “can you please stop staring at us, that’s really creepy. Can you sit on the other side of the table so you’re not staring at my friends ass?”
I was confused but I know given my past that I can have the tendency to drift into a thousand yard stare, not looking at anything specifically but just staring off into nowhere. I apologized and told her “I’m sorry, if I was looking in your direction it wasn’t intentional, I tend to zone out when I’m alone.”
She told me that it wasn’t okay and that she again would feel better if I moved or changed positions on the table to face the wall. The room had already filled up pretty quickly so finding a new place wasnt really an option but also, i didnt feel like i should because my food and drink are here at this table and I’m already eating. I responded “im sorry, i suffer from PTSD so i need my back to a wall for me to be able to eat comfortably.”
Her response was “well i have PTSD from being assaulted and i dont want some creepy old dude looking at us while we eat.” at this time other people were looking and staring which was very upsetting so i told her “that’s terrible, but im not going to move. My triggers are my own and yours are your own. I control what I do by sitting with my back to a wall, I don’t get to tell others what to do to make me comfortable.” She interrupted me plenty while I was trying to explain but her main point was in today’s world being a young woman is dangerous, which I totally understand but I’m not going to have severe anxiety while I eat. She went off a bit about how men refuse to be accommodating to women and it’s horrible and that I was just being selfish.
I ended up leaving early, only after one plate which I could usually do 2-4 so I was bummed out but the added attention and frustration made the experience unenjoyable any further. The more I think about it I’m unsure if I should have just sucked it up and not made a scene so those young ladies didn’t have to feel that kind of anxiety that I feel from my PTSD. AITA?