u/Missing_Back

It's funny because when things are going good or when things are going bad I'll feel this compulsion. If I'm stuck/confused/frustrated by what I'm working on, I'll want to distract myself from the discomfort of not knowing what to do next so I'll go check reddit, youtube, etc. However, sometimes when things are going *good* and I just made progress, or I have a good plan for what to do next, I'll also sometimes go take a break because "hey I'm at a good point so I can pick this back up in 5-10 minutes".

It's a constant urge I feel in my body to go get that dopamine.

Has anyone made good progress on this sort of struggle? (I phrase the question as "has anyone made good progress" because idk if adhd programmers will necessarily fully rid themselves of this urge)

Vim is fun and cool for me when I know where things are/don't have to hold a lot of repo context in my head (where files are, where to look for things, what a file I need is called, which file I need, etc.) but at work where I'm working in multiple large repos that I understand less than 1% of, it seems impractical. Like I need a GUI to even begin navigating and searching for what I need, or when I'm trying to get a lay of the land.

Is this an issue with my abilities/tools/knowledge (i.e. I could lack knowledge on a useful way to browse a file tree in vim or something) or is this an area where vim isn't really the best choice?

My wife and I are expecting our first child this december so we're trying to plan ahead as far as food and meals go, especially since we'll be losing her income and will need to be more deliberate with cooking at home. The biggest change is that we're getting a big freezer so we'll have more room for bulk ingredients, prepped meals, or ingredients prepped and ready to be thrown in a crockpot, etc.

There's a lot to consider here (what recipes do we want, which recipes freeze well and which don't, etc.) but one factor is vacuum sealing. In theory, vacuum sealing could help us a lot. Things would stay fresh longer, we could prep more "ready to cook" recipes, etc. But from brief googling in the past it seemed like a cheapo vacuum sealer can be problematic. But I don't know if we're willing to drop $400 on a fancy restaurant grade one either. And we're also concerned about the amount of plastic waste.

I'd love to hear advice or insights from people who know about this. What is the entry cost of getting into vacuum sealing? Can a $100 sealer do the job? Are the bags expensive? Is the plastic waste too much? And any other thoughts you might have.

We're expecting our first child in December and my wife will stop working sometime in November at the latest. At this point she's working still, but less hours, and we're essentially using her money only for things specific to pregnancy/baby stuff to try to simulate living on just my income to get used to it.

Fortunately I'm a natural saver and, for the most part, don't really like to spend money on things. But even then, because things are tighter, I'm a lot more analytical about spending money on fun things. For example, some friends said they're going to a drive in movie and my wife wanted to go. I said it doesn't really make sense to spend $30 for tickets + $10 for popcorn for a drive in movie where we either have to all 4 sit in the same car where the back people can't see, or literally sit in separate cars and be unable to interact with our friends; not to mention a movie isn't the most cost effective social event because even in a normal theater you're not interacting for 90% of the time together. With that being said, we went to a normal movie a couple of days later, spent $50 total, for a 90 minute movie that wasn't good (Onslaught).... The whole time I'm thinking about how we could've played board games at our house which is much cheaper and involves a lot more interaction.

This is just the most recent example of the calculus I'm doing whenever the question comes up of, "do we want to go do this thing that costs money?" and I imagine it only gets harder as kids grow up/more kids are around.

It's kind of this shift into, "yes that sounds fun, but can we find a cheaper or free alternative?". We can no longer just say yes to everything (and that includes saying yes to ourselves, lol)

It's definitely an adjustment. And the baby isn't even here yet. I'm curious what sort of mentality shifts or changes in actions people in a similar situation had to make/are constantly aware of?

Does anyone have any experiences or insights into adjusting to live on less money?

This whole HSA/FSA world is suuuuuper confusing to me. Hopefully some people of Reddit can help me explain it so I don't have to go through the pain of calling customer service.

I have about $19k in my HSA and it's all invested. I'm not currently on an HSA plan--I switched to another health insurance plan that uses an FSA, but through Optum it's all under one tab and one card (which apparently is weird). The HSA and FSA are two tabs in the Optum dashboard (which is fucking dogshit, by god).

There's also this "HSA OD" (on demand) thing which I've never understood. I always assumed the money would be invested, but if I spent from the HSA it would pull money out of the investments or something. But evidently that's not how it works. My wife and I are expecting our first child this December so we knew we'd have medical costs and due to our changing financial situation (i.e. her being a SAHM) it makes the most sense to use the HSA for it. However, last time I tried to pay for a bill with the HSA card, it was declined due to not having enough funds. There's a number under "available to spend" which currently has $6.20 in it, next to the $19k in investments.

My best guess is that I need to go in and manually sell a portion of the investments, and once that's done, that money will go into my "available to spend"??? It's just hard to know because like I said Optum's site is atrocious. I triggered a sell of $2k to see what happens and as far as I can tell, there's no place where I can see my pending transactions/sale of investments... I kind of just have to hope that it went through and will take a few days to finish, I guess??? The only thing I can see as proof that I actually did anything is that if I try to sell more, it says I can't as a transaction is pending. Is there any info about that transaction? Of course not!

So does anyone have any idea how any of this works? I'm sure it's already a confusing topic with weird rules, but it's made so so so much worse by the interface and website being so abysmally awful.

I'm cutting out dairy for the next month (to see if it helps with skin issues) which is unfortunate because I get some easy protein through dairy: nonfat greek yogurt in my daily smoothie, Nurri shakes, Oikos zero yogurt, etc. The greek yogurt is the only true "staple"; the other two I enjoy occasionally and it makes hitting my protein easy.

But without those I have less options for snacks that give protein. I'm looking for something I could easily have during the work day at my desk as a mid morning snack that preferably can help replace some of the protein I'm losing out on by cutting out dairy. Microwave or putting in the fridge are both options, although I'd prefer to not have to microwave it if possible.

Only snacks I do right now are almonds and Kodiak protein granola. Not that almonds are the best protein source...

Recently tried cooking chicken thighs in the airfryer and it's pretty simple. Season the thighs, season some potatoes, airfry at 400F for 14 minutes, slice up chicken, throw over potatoes, drizzle some bbq sauce on. Super easy and delicious, and it's made fresh so I don't have to deal with the microwaved chicken taste.

I'm looking for other ideas of ways to something equally simple. Whether it's sauces or seasonings or combos or sides or anything really. The core should just be "cooking chicken in airfryer"

Current specs: i5-4590, 16gb ram, 1650 super. This is a PC I built a few years ago from used parts for dirt cheap.

As far as I know, the only thing I could upgrade by itself is the GPU. Otherwise, I'd need new ram, mobo, and cpu--upgrading just one isn't really an option, right?

I'm also not at all aware of the current market other than the general vibe that stuff, especially ram, is pretty expensive right now.

For all intents and purposes, am I better off thinking of it as buying an entire new system, rather than upgrading my current one, considering how bad the specs are?

My only work experience is on an embedded graphics team. I plan on continuing on with this for a bit as the company is probably the best in the area in terms of WLB and benefits, although pay is less than stellar, especially as I gain more experience. But right now I'm trying to get a vibe check for how this sort of work experience could translate into opportunities in the future.

On the one hand, it could be considered niche so that it's hard to find a job that fits. On the other hand, because it's niche, there's less candidates available for jobs that do fit, so that could be a plus.

At this point I think the main reason I'd leave my current role is if I found something fully remote, so I want to make sure I'm focusing on the right things to help make that more likely.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

I'd be especially curious to hear the experiences from knowledge workers (software engineers, etc.) but open to all experiences as well :)

I'm wondering what people's experience has been with focus as it relates to anxiety, especially before and after treatment/reduction of anxiety.

I have a really hard time focusing at work (to the point that I've had many days where I spend most of the day watching YouTube, which naturally causes an anxiety cycle where I'm anxious because I'm not doing my work, not learning and growing, etc.) It seems reasonable me to that chronic anxiety can contribute to struggles to focus--after all, if my brain is to some degree in fight or flight mode, of course I'm going to have a hard time sitting down and working on a problem on the computer.

So what is your experience with anxiety and focus? If you're someone that has had some improvement in anxiety (through meds or therapy or both or something else), has that had a tangible impact on your ability to focus?

I'm doing upright freezer research. GE upright freezers are cheaper at Home Depot but Costco comes with extended 2 year warranty. Home Depot comes with limited manufacturers warranty, but you can buy 3 or 5 year protection ($150 or $180)

Size	Final Price (Costco)	Final Price (Home Depot)	Final Price w/ Protection (Home Depot)
14 cu. ft.	$1016	$858	$1004-$1054
17 cu. ft.	$1071	$967	$1114-$1164
21 cu. ft.	$1203	$1076	$1223-$1275

Obviously home depot is cheaper, but it also comes with less of a warranty.

Not sure how important extra warranty is for the first few years (is it worth paying more for Costco/worth paying for the warranty from HD), or how helpful the manufacturers warranty is, etc.

I'd appreciate some insights

FPV is a super cool hobby and it's always something I want to want to do more of, but the reality is I bought my gear over 3 years ago, and the last time I flew was May of 2023. Even before that I didn't fly very often. It's something I was always hoping to do more of, but the combination of how expensive it is, the fact that flying could lead to crashes which leads to repairs which cost $$$, and not having anywhere to fly near me. I think it's time I sell my gear that's been sitting unused for a while. It makes me sad to finally do but I think it's for the best and will give me funds to pursue other (hopefully cheaper less anxiety inducing) hobbies.

Does anyone have a suggestion where to sell my gear? All I have is a quad, some batteries, props, and goggles. I'll probably keep my radio so I can at least play sims if I get the itch.

Is it my best bet to just post it on marketplace?

I have a tendency to overthink and feel anxious, and I think a large portion of that neuroticism is some form of "I should...". I should act this way, I should say this thing, I should care about this or that. At times, it's due to a lack of knowing what I "should" do ("what's the normal thing to do here? What should I say in this situation?")

At times it can be exhausting because it feels like I have mental resources being spent on this pointless "program" that's constantly running, evaluating or wondering what the "correct" thing to do is.

I'm not looking for books to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, but rather books that can help rewire that mentality of always thinking about the "shoulds" of life and social interactions.

Does anyone have books to help reframe this sort of thing? I'm also in therapy and recently started anxiety medication, so I'm under no illusion that reading a book or two will solve all of this by themselves ;)

When I search for reviews and things online, I’m not seeing much if anything about the compact one that’s $65, but rather the normal $300 one. I’m sure the $300 is great—at least I would hope so. But what about the compact cheaper one? Does anyone have experience with it?

Edit: also just saw a $100 momcozy one as well. Not labeled as compact but also not the $300 one??

I’ve been putting off buying a blower but realizing I need one. I got a trimmer recently and it helps the yard look nicer but not when I leave the trimmings laying around to turn brown, lol. There’s so many different CFM levels and I don’t know what’s sufficient.

Main use will be for that, just blowing clippings and things but would be nice to be able to use it in the fall for leaves as well.

I found a new 765CFM on marketplace near me for $150, but the problem is it has no battery which sucks. I have 2 x 5.0ah and 1 x 2.0ah. As far as I can tell, which battery size you want for a blower depends on the blower, but either way I think getting a 765cfm without a new battery won’t be ideal as from what I’ve seen a 2.0ah isn’t enough for it, and I think I drain both my 5.0ah batteries too much in a single mow to be used on the blower at the end.

I’ve seen a 615cfm with a battery and charger for $219 and that seems like a good option? Maybe? I’m really not sure how to correlate price vs CFM or what a good deal is.

Any thoughts?

Specifically it’s kind of irking me how there’s black character and there’s constantly things about race involved. It’s one thing for the bad guy psycho killer anti social character to be racist and call him the N word in his head, but it feels a little… cringey? For Jerome to constantly be making comments and jokes about his race. Like can’t we just have a black character who’s smart and interesting who doesn’t need to make jokes about being the slave of his white neighbor? This sort of writing so far has been bothersome.

Did this bother anyone else? I’m about 30% through and am wondering if I should keep going.

Looking to get an upright freezer for the basement. For meal prep, bulk ingredients, breastmilk, etc.

I was originally looking at a GE freezer because that’s what Costco had. Found cheaper GE freezers at Home Depot (some different models) and overall not sure what to go for.

Is GE the best option? Or Frigidaire?? And what models? Wire shelving? Glass shelving?

These are all “garage ready” but like I said it would go in the basement so that’s not strictly necessary.

Any advice??

I just want to confirm my plan: start a 529 in my name, and then change the beneficiary to my child after they’re born.

Is that all that’s required? The reason I want to start it before they’re here is to add an option to the registry for 529 contributions.

Or should I just save contributions in a savings account for a few months and then do a lump sum contribution to a new 529 account after they’re born?

Am I missing anything?

Trying to decide on Cruz v3 vs vista v3. We thought we were set on Cruz but a friend who has the Cruz mentioned they wish they would have gotten the Vista, as they now have two kids and the older one doesn’t always like to walk or ride the attached skateboard.

But in searching I’ve seen a lot of people who say they wish they would’ve gotten the Cruz instead of the Vista.

I’m curious to get more details from people who feel that way. I think a big criticism is that it’s not actually that great of a double, in which case it’s pointless to get a Vista over a Cruz. Can anyone shed some light on that? What’s bad about it?