u/MissionPhase8436

I've always been a homebody. I do like going around my neighborhood to thrift stores, having matcha at a small cafe and maybe going to a nearby beach but I have no interest in sight seeing like others.

I think people believe it's a waste of your life to not travel and visit new places but I would prefer being alone at my home watching something, taking care of my plants and maybe doom scrolling. I have travelled a bit when I was in my early 20s and younger but now my priority has moved to live a simple life which is this.

What do you guys think about it?

My ex and I(28F) broke up after a 2.5 year relationship 2 months ago. We mutually broke it off due to a long distance relationship and the prospect of us never meeting again because we will never live in the same country ever again. I've been feeling mixed emotions. Most of the days I don't think about it and some days I'll just think about how special I felt when I was with him, thinking about him when others are talking about their partners or just looking at a couple. I think rather than missing him, I'm missing the feelings we had before the long distance relationship started. I'm not as expressive about my emotions and I did open up to him more than I ever did in front of my parents. We both had flaws, me more than him and I was also not sure if I would be able to work on them because already a lot was happening so I think it was a good decision for us to breakup, more for him than me. I want him to be happy and not suffer thinking when we will stop the long distance and get married.

Today, I got up and remembered my dream or nightmare you can say. I dreamt about my ex messaging me casually how life is going and I thought in the dream "Oh he wants to get back" and I was ready to reply with no we shouldn't get back together. But, what he messaged was "I found someone I like, who has healed me." and I was shocked. I did want him to find someone but you know it does feel like you're getting left behind. You have friends that have already gotten married and some have had kids and here you are, single and not in the right mindset for dating. But thinking about your ex finding someone that they potentially love and might get married in the future hurts.

I don't know why I'm writing this post. It's definitely not that I hate him but maybe I realized I lost a good guy and the only love of my life. I know the decision was right because I don't want to make someone else suffer just so he's there for me emotionally but it still hurts to do the right thing.

If someone asks me, I don't know what I would say. It's not like I've had a difficult life in terms of studying, a job, my family(can't say for sure) or friends(don't have many) but I've never been so happy just thinking about the moment.

Is there anyone else who feels the same?