u/MixAcceptable7140

I am 23F with and sister who is 29F and she is getting married soon. I will call her Bee and her fiancée Troy.

In my family bee has always been known to be super hyper sensitive to events or things that aren’t the center of attention of her. She has never had stable relationships, will be emotional explosive and abusive towards our mom and dad and me. Bee and troy got engaged a month ago. Bee has had multiple conversations with our dad about if there were to be a wedding when would be the best time. My other brother, we will call josh, is getting married is August. My father told my sister to wait to get married until next year so we all can save up and recover from the expenses of my brothers wedding. Bee took this as telling her that she can’t have a wedding and that all the attention should only be on Josh, so she planned for the wedding to be in November on purpose. November was a particularly weird time to plan is as it’s almost only 6 months away from engagement, the date is in the middle of a work week, and 4 days after my grandma’s big 80th. My mom took 3-6 months off of work for stress management and depression, my dad is going through a huge lawsuit that’s led him to be unemployed and stressed, i lost one of my clients and have been grieving with that, and she still expects us all to have the mental capacity to be engaged right now. One day she was ranting as usual about how everyone sucks and I gave her dry answers so she would stop. She exploded and told me i was unreliable and a piece of shit. I took accountability for my part and i asked her to take accountability for putting this pressure on me and making me feel like everything is my fault. She called me a narcissist and told me that if i am too stressed out to not even bother going to the wedding. I told her i have been repressing a lot of feelings and this wedding is bringing them up and i needed space. she told me im way too sensitive and that her telling me im selfish and narcissistic is the truth and that i can’t handle it. i explained to her that calling me that hurts a lot and she said “I could breathe and you'd say I hurt your feelings.” i told her i wanted a mature and respectful conversation about our feelings but it wouldn’t get there if she was going to counter everything I say and not take accountability. She went off and said some of the meanest shit she’s ever said and i started to break down. i was crying for hours and contemplating even having a relationship with her. I know i don’t want to be in a volatile relationship with my sister where i have to keep repressing my feelings so i don’t get blown up on, but she is my only blood sister. i’m at the point where i feel i have never gotten much out of our sisterhood and i need to separate myself. There’s lots more rooted so lmk any questions. My question is, would it make things worse if i just didn’t go to the wedding or just go, fake it and get torn apart and then distance myself after?

I am 23F with and sister who is 29F and she is getting married soon. I will call her Bee and her fiancée Troy.

In my family bee has always been known to be super hyper sensitive to events or things that aren’t the center of attention of her. She has never had stable relationships, will be emotional explosive and abusive towards our mom and dad and me. Bee and troy got engaged a month ago. Bee has had multiple conversations with our dad about if there were to be a wedding when would be the best time. My other brother, we will call josh, is getting married is August. My father told my sister to wait to get married until next year so we all can save up and recover from the expenses of my brothers wedding. Bee took this as telling her that she can’t have a wedding and that all the attention should only be on Josh, so she planned for the wedding to be in November on purpose. November was a particularly weird time to plan is as it’s almost only 6 months away from engagement, the date is in the middle of a work week, and 4 days after my grandma’s big 80th. My mom took 3-6 months off of work for stress management and depression, my dad is going through a huge lawsuit that’s led him to be unemployed and stressed, i lost one of my clients and have been grieving with that, and she still expects us all to have the mental capacity to be engaged right now. One day she was ranting as usual about how everyone sucks and I gave her dry answers so she would stop. She exploded and told me i was unreliable and a piece of shit. I took accountability for my part and i asked her to take accountability for putting this pressure on me and making me feel like everything is my fault. She called me a narcissist and told me that if i am too stressed out to not even bother going to the wedding. I told her i have been repressing a lot of feelings and this wedding is bringing them up and i needed space. she told me im way too sensitive and that her telling me im selfish and narcissistic is the truth and that i can’t handle it. i explained to her that calling me that hurts a lot and she said “I could breathe and you'd say I hurt your feelings.” i told her i wanted a mature and respectful conversation about our feelings but it wouldn’t get there if she was going to counter everything I say and not take accountability. She went off and said some of the meanest shit she’s ever said and i started to break down. i was crying for hours and contemplating even having a relationship with her. I know i don’t want to be in a volatile relationship with my sister where i have to keep repressing my feelings so i don’t get blown up on, but she is my only blood sister. i’m at the point where i feel i have never gotten much out of our sisterhood and i need to separate myself. There’s lots more rooted so lmk any questions. My question is, would it make things worse if i just didn’t go to the wedding or just go, fake it and get torn apart and then distance myself after?

I am 23F with and sister who is 29F and she is getting married soon. I will call her Bee and her fiancée Troy.

In my family bee has always been known to be super hyper sensitive to events or things that aren’t the center of attention of her. She has never had stable relationships, will be emotional explosive and abusive towards our mom and dad and me. Bee and troy got engaged a month ago. Bee has had multiple conversations with our dad about if there were to be a wedding when would be the best time. My other brother, we will call josh, is getting married is August. My father told my sister to wait to get married until next year so we all can save up and recover from the expenses of my brothers wedding. Bee took this as telling her that she can’t have a wedding and that all the attention should only be on Josh, so she planned for the wedding to be in November on purpose. November was a particularly weird time to plan is as it’s almost only 6 months away from engagement, the date is in the middle of a work week, and 4 days after my grandma’s big 80th. My mom took 3-6 months off of work for stress management and depression, my dad is going through a huge lawsuit that’s led him to be unemployed and stressed, i lost one of my clients and have been grieving with that, and she still expects us all to have the mental capacity to be engaged right now. One day she was ranting as usual about how everyone sucks and I gave her dry answers so she would stop. She exploded and told me i was unreliable and a piece of shit. I took accountability for my part and i asked her to take accountability for putting this pressure on me and making me feel like everything is my fault. She called me a narcissist and told me that if i am too stressed out to not even bother going to the wedding. I told her i have been repressing a lot of feelings and this wedding is bringing them up and i needed space. she told me im way too sensitive and that her telling me im selfish and narcissistic is the truth and that i can’t handle it. i explained to her that calling me that hurts a lot and she said “I could breathe and you'd say I hurt your feelings.” i told her i wanted a mature and respectful conversation about our feelings but it wouldn’t get there if she was going to counter everything I say and not take accountability. She went off and said some of the meanest shit she’s ever said and i started to break down. i was crying for hours and contemplating even having a relationship with her. I know i don’t want to be in a volatile relationship with my sister where i have to keep repressing my feelings so i don’t get blown up on, but she is my only blood sister. i’m at the point where i feel i have never gotten much out of our sisterhood and i need to separate myself. There’s lots more rooted so lmk any questions. My question is, would it make things worse if i just didn’t go to the wedding or just go, fake it and get torn apart and then distance myself after?