I early 20sam getting to know a guy mid 20s, but I'm confused about my feelings toward intimacy because of past trauma. How do I know if I'm ready?
I'm in my early 20s and recently started getting to know a guy. We had a very honest conversation about boundaries, intimacy, and relationships.
He's interested in physical intimacy eventually, but he has also made it clear that he's happy to take things slowly and only when I'm comfortable. He says there's no pressure and that emotional connection comes first.
The confusing part is about me.
I do want physical intimacy someday. I'm curious about it and want to experience it with someone I trust. But whenever I think about actually being physically intimate, I suddenly feel guilty, almost like I'm doing something wrong, even though I'm single.
Another thing is that I have some past trauma related to physical intimacy. I don't really want to go into the details, but because of that, I honestly don't know how I would react if I were actually in that situation. Part of me wants it, but another part is scared that I might freeze, panic, or feel overwhelmed. I genuinely don't know because I've never been in a safe, consensual situation like that before.
I also don't develop romantic feelings very easily, so I'm wondering if all of these things are connected.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Wanting physical intimacy but feeling guilty or scared when it becomes real?
Not knowing how you'd react because of past trauma?
Did trust, time, therapy, or the right partner help you feel safer?
I'm not looking for judgment or to be told to "just do it" or "never do it." I'm just trying to understand whether what I'm feeling is something others have experienced and how they worked through it.