u/Mochahopestobeartsy

https://preview.redd.it/x1a1s25w7h7h1.jpg?width=1016&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9721bdc756a948d43c74f71b463f77a6b4101a2f

I don't know, I'm just so scared. I've only tried to talk about it with a few select people irl, and their responses were as follows: A. Telling me to 'accept Jesus into my life and repent for my sins of pansexualism' B. Saying I'm lying for attention or C. Saying that I should be happy I have it so good and basically that I can't have suicidal ideation because other people have it so much worse. I feel burnt out and worthless and gross, I can bearly look at myself in the mirror. I tried once to ask for suggestions to cover up the SH scars on my arms and people started mobbing me saying things about 'natural consequences' and 'isn't the whole reason you did that was for attention' and NO! I don't want attention, it just feels like it's what I deserve for being such a messed up person. And now I feel like a hypocrite for saying I don't want attention and then talking here. I tried to vent in a different place and got chewed out, and now I'm just even more terrified. I feel like my own body is a prison, and suicide is the only way I know to escape. I have a plan to overdose on my meds, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it and I'm just so scared of both the concepts of dying and continuing to live like this.