u/Mokpa

At least stick to your story, guys! Angel gave the founder of the Dominicans the Rosary, and Karl from Krakow gets to add a whole set of mysteries to it because checks notes “he just can?”

From a prompt on Tumblr. When Brendon did the Max’s locker tour after Locker Stories, everyone wanted to know the story behind how he got the teacup from Maddox. Here’s my take.

It was at a planetarium and part of the show discussed the planet Venus, but I think Our Lady would appreciate it.

So I was rewatching CCoD and when Madelaine is asking the people at the air bnb about their families, she asks if there’s stories about “the old country.” So I did a deep dive on my family name and turns out — yup. Roman gens, with a recorded Consul, which makes the entire extended family nobles. Kinda cool.

Anyway, Madelaine, hit me up when you get a chance.

Listen, I’ve been wanting to be a vampire’s bloodbag since I was like 13 years old. Let me have my little shitpost dreams.

Edit: Yeah, I know that this is fantastical, unprovable nonsense and that Occam’s Razor tells us that a million other things are more likely. The world’s on fire, let me have this.

I noticed this many years ago and mentioned it on a Lost Podcast but somehow NEVER thought to post it here?!

Even in-universe, the flashbacks in that episode took place AFTER “War Without End” aired! And the in-universe character could have seen it!!

Tl;dr being a good guy that makes women feel safe leaves me holding myself to unattainably high expectations for how I act around women. It leaves me feeling lovable, but touch-starved.

I thank Aphrodite for so many things. I feel emotions deeply. I can genuinely say I love everyone. Yeah, everyone. I said what I said. Because I love humanity in all its flawed and fucked-up ways. It’s almost impossible to wrong me, and I will forgive almost anything people do to me because I tell my self my role in life is to be a comforting, understanding, and safe person.

I consider myself a good person. It kills me that there are “nice guys” who act like they care but then treat ur like they’re feeding quarters into a machine until it pays out in sex. I genuinely fear that there but for the grace of god go I. So when I befriend a woman and I feel like they’re trusting me, I consciously and physically keep my distance at all times unless I feel like they need a hug — and even then I ask first.

I have had such open and honest relationships with women that most men never have. There was a coworker with whom we discussed our sex lives in frank and honest detail, and the only times I ever touched her were shaking her hand at the interview and hugging her goodbye on her last day.

Then my wife has issues with chronic pain and sensory issues. She has to be very comfortable in order to be physical — even to cuddle. We’ve gone years without sex, months without cuddling, and she has very real and genuine issues related to me (related to our kid’s birth, long story). It gets so bad that she even sleeps in another room for months on end.

It leaves me feeling touch-starved, sad, crying, and taking weeks to work up the courage to ask my wife to cuddle skin-to-skin. And even then, it can take as long as a week from when I ask to when she’s comfortable enough to do it.

I feel like Aphrodite made me lovable, made me a safe person that put others at ease, and gave me robust sexual health, but that all leaves me afraid to not be a safe person. I would rather die than disappoint someone who trusts me, and I would rather throw hands than see someone who trusts me be disrespected by others. And still, even hearing how other men treat women infuriates me, and I don’t want to be anything CLOSE to that.

I know Aphrodite loves me. I’m so glad I get to spread some of that in this world. She lets others feel safe around me. I just know that I guard the gifts She’s given me so jealously (so that I can continue to share that love and peace) that I rarely get to experience all the joys Our Lady brings into this world.

I know. World’s tiniest violin for the cis-man who is otherwise the poster child for The Patriarchy and has all those privileges. I’ve never felt physically unsafe in public. Not even alone on dark streets at night. I provide that comfort for others, and I thank Aphrodite for letting me be that conduit.

I just don’t like feeling lonely despite that.

Thank you. Blessings of Our Lady upon you on this Her Day.

(If you saw this posted with a typo in the title, no you didn’t.) (See, I even feel a little guilty for that joke because it feels like gaslighting)

I've internalized that "men can't be witches" so deeply that I feel the need to warn at the top that I'm a man. (Yes, I've interrogated my gender. Yes I'm cis. It's a long story, ask when I'm a better mood and I'll talk your ear off about it).

I've been trying and failing to find community in this space for months. I'm relatively new to this, even though I've been lurking and occasionally posting here for much longer. I can find brief connection with others on an individual level, particularly reading Tarot for others, but those connections are fleeting.

I'm trying to find Community, but I've kept coming up empty. I've tried among IRL friends, in Hellenic Polytheist spaces, or in a handful of different Patreon communities. Hellenic Polytheist spaces -- and I strongly identify with those Gods -- have felt particularly elitist and cold to me (says the white man lawyer [and aspiring traitor to the patriarchy]).

I just need help. Any advice. Any guidance on kind and gentle and welcoming communities. At this point I just feel like I'm off-putting. I'm hyper-sensitive that my presence disturbs others (see the first paragraph). Maybe it's because for once I feel like a minority and I don't know how to deal with that, but I really have no clue where to turn anymore.

Thank you for enduring what's mostly a text post. Here, have the Three of Cups.

The Three of Cups by Pamela Coleman Smith

I usually address Calliope as “My Patroness, Beautiful-Voiced Calliope, Goddess of Eloquence and Chief of the Muses, Voice of Kings and Princes” both in prayer and when praising her in normal conversation (not just mentioning, but actively praising)

Luis’ mom is Luisa, but he didn’t inherit her gift because that’s not how Gifts work. His Gift is that his hair is always perfect.

He inherited his strength from his Father.

Hercules

Still saves Lesbian Luisa with Hercules as a donor for Luisa and her partner. Because you know Hercules would be flattered to be asked, and Megara would decide the world is better with more of Herc’s kids in it.

I’ve only seen WW twice. Was Chad mentioned at all in WW? #HorrifyingImplications

Edit: Justification.

They spent a Marvel movie’s budget on this thing and you can see every red cent of it.

There’s still some Disney Channel jankieness - obvious green screen, crappy ADR - but it’s WILD at how badly that stands out compared to the otherwise amazing production values the rest of the time

It’s got the strongest soundtrack of all 5 movies. The Brandy/Rita Ora duet deserves to be on the hot 100. Plus, it calls back to Space Between in a subtle yet brilliant way that makes it the queerest love song in Descendants. Before this movie, that was the closest thing we had to a real duet love song in this franchise.

The Red/Luis meet-cute and later callback should be taught in film schools.

Hazel Hook has never done anything wrong in her life but, unrelatedly, I would commit piracy on the high seas for her.

The Maddox/Max Hatter relationship is the father-son relationship that my Bevie fic needed

“Evil Chloe uses the watch” fic is going to be HUGE.

Filthy lucre sucks, but no lucre no sucre as the saying doesn’t go. I’ve come to do some readings and I’ve started to barter readings with others in trades (okay — my hairdresser). I’d do this forever. Any thoughts on capitalizing on it because… well… family’s gotta eat and if I cut back on my day job my wife will (rightly) end me.

Why’d I mark it NSFW? Because this involves My Personal Best Friend and Yours, Brednan Le Gawd Mulligan in a non-platonic, let’s-make-out way.

Good evening, ‘Pants.

For some people they have to get really high in order to become gay. We need to get higher and higher and higher in order to get as closeeeee to actually gay as possible.

It’s like…. If you’re 0% bi, you need 100% of the weed to get gay. Sorry babes. You’re straight, Ilona Maher. It’s okay. Through Gaga, anything is possible.

50% bi? We’re talking a Fred Rogers level high here. If you’re half bi, you’re gonna need to get real high to get gay. There’s another guy I think who fits here, but he’s alive and I’m pretty sure that still counts as slander.

99% bi? You only need 1% high to get gay. That’s Our Personal Best Friend Brennan Lee Mulligan. Man’s a TeeTotaler but there’s STILL some level of high-on-life this walking advertisement for knowing thyself can get in order to get gay.

Why did we switch to High for Brennan? I bet that motherfucker’s gotten high enough on caffeine and sleep deprivation to get gay. It don’t take much is what I’m saying. I bet he gets a little close to that when he and— nevermind.

See, motherfuckers? That’s how we Don’t Wake Standards & Practices, shout out My Brother in the Bar Devin McLegalEagle. The midpoint between Doctor Strange and Doctor Watson. I know better than to make a pass at you, because I know neither your sexual orientation nor your last name. Hey, you think I’m clear with Standards and Practices about that [person’s name] slander up there? Nope? Okay. Demi, am I good with that one, you think? Okay, where’s Tawny Newsome because I bet she knows some thaaangs.

Now Jacques ze Whipper? I know that guy’s last name. Plays on a semi-pro league team. Quality baseball, that. Welcome to the Dropout Cinematic Universe you grown-up circusfolk. Tell Sellsword Arts they’re way too cool for me to ever meet, but shoutout the ambiguously bisexual polyamorous triad rep we all need.

Okay, I’ve rambled long and high enough — I’m stone sober for this on the day. I know better, but shout out Calliope who gives me STRENGTH! Queen of the Muses, babe. They did you right in Disney’s Hercules. Brennan, back me up on this? Demi? Good man. Didn’t script that. (See, now they think I did so you’ve got cover. Devin, we cool?) Also, Italian people. The 100% plot significance, 0% screen time of peoples. Rome doesn’t count, they invaded us first. Herentas, Goddess of my Ancestors your name will never be forgotten! They say we’re descendants of Venus? We’re descendants of you!

Okay then we get back to the scale.

And then it goes the other way. It’s like adding an inverse-Kinsey level of weed to get gay. 0 Kinsey? 7 weed. 7 Kinsey? 0 weed.

Hence, the Inverse Kinsey Scale.

I’m so sorry Ilona Maher, we can name the scale after you if you want. Demi, did I rip off the Cartoon Characters You’d Fight lecture structure you did in a legally distinct manner?

Devin, tiebreak?

Sorry, I wrote this expecting different people in the room.

Thank you for coming to my Smartypants presentation.

No, Brennan and I will not be making out on camera, thank you. Now please cut away because I’m feeling a thing. Shout out to our much-cooler-than-us wives. Through you, many things are possible.

Edit: Oof. Too far even for the CJ sub?

Anybody ever heard of, or have any way to point to information about Herentas? Literally all I know is what’s in the title. I found it in the book Cults of Campania, which is available online and dated to 1919. She was synchretized by the Greek colonists with Aphrodite, and thus later Venus. Her name shows up as late as Pompeii, in Oscan inscriptions found there alongside much more recognizable names such as Apollo and Heracles.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!