u/Monroe_89

Hi, I am looking to sell and split 50/50 equity before the end of this year, or get a heloc to help pay off vehicle debt. ?How do you go about getting a heloc? Definitely need to choose wisely and for a heloc what info is needed to be approved for a 50-60k heloc loan? If I go for heloc, I will pay off vehicle debt and use 30k to update restrooms, kitchen, flooring, exterior update windows, etc. Home is in 1980s original build, etc. or if I don't do heloc and sale as is, how does one go about using home equity to get into another home, if I do this I want to just use 20k or less to get into another home and put the rest into savings, and build that equity up to be able to invest and double the funds within 5-10 years. What would you do? Dave'do? Or what have you done being in a similar position?

Have you or anyone you know been in a similar situation? I need advice and would like to know what to do next. I once had savings and good credit, I could sign and get approved with little to nothing down. In 2020 before covid I signed for a vehicle, partner said he would help payments so we could pay off asap. Pandemic happens he loses ability to work, I began to get behind on everything by 2022 savings is gone, credit is getting bad due to falling behind. Divorce in process bcz he chose to give up, no longer cared to help in many ways more than one. vehicle is out for repo, I call them and ask for it to be picked up, he left it at a mechanic shop bcz it shut off on him and other number of mechanical issues, fuel pump, starter problems etc. It never gets picked up or towed it sits at mechanic shop 2025 I get notice that vehicle is still at shop and shop owner is closing doors end of 2026. My question is where do I begin? Who do I contact? All this time I thought vehicle had been picked up and out of my life. Never knew he didn't pay it or even carry on making payments bcz he has no communication skills, so i rather not ask questions or speak a word to him. I simply thought it was done with either paid for or towed as I never heard anything about it & I wasn't going to be making payments for a vehicle I didn't want, can't drive etc..etc... how do I go about getting this situation taken care of? Who would you call? I am wanting to get this vehicle & bad credit off my chest so I can catch up on life, one day get approved for my own vehicle that I can pay off and use to get away and do what's needed to have a better life. Has anyone dealt with something similar? I'm scared to contact anyone bcz it's been sometime and I never expected time to fly and this to be left unpaid and under my info. I'm also not a good speaker I get nervous and even stutter or mumble when I'm trying to speak or explain myself, I don't like being yelled at or scolded and I shut down, so speaking to a stranger in person is terrifying to me as if it was to someone I've known for years. But I know things have to change and I have to be brave and step out of this shell I've put myself in. What do I do? & where do I begin? To get this vehicle out from my name. I know I messed up by signing for it in the first place, but I had no clue within that year or two I'd be left hanging to do everything on my own. What's sad is I would never do this to anyone, it hurts most is when you've truly experienced the struggle, the pain and hardship and you know the exact feeling. Any advice and help is greatly appreciated. Interested in getting this taken care of asap, so I can get out of the situation I'm in. I have two weeks to start a new life without the weight of carrying a burden and load that just feels like its holdimg me back and keeping me down from moving forward, I need to be able to get approved for my own place and a starter vehicle to get to a to b. I have no family who is able to help or would even care to help, instead they'd most likely laugh and joke about my situation so I keep to myself, they're the type that would rather see you kicked on the ground then doing good and standing tall. So I keep to myself and I don't expect much from anyone, I've learned the true nature of people even of relatives and even that terrifies me, so I keep to myself. Please if you know similar situations or outcomes I'd like to know, anything helps and is greatly appreciated.

I hate this feeling..... I hate how quick he is to be aggressive and abusive. He threatens with hurtful words. Like gtfo of the bed or I'll kick you, you got two seconds to move or you'll see what's gonna happen. It's ridiculous and I hate it, he gets in my face and wakes me saying crap like when you come back from your families graduation I won't be here or when you leave don't come back. He threatens with his words and his face in my face and says things like he can't do this anymore. (When I'm the glue in the relationship, I've been the provider the past decade, all he's done is taken my money for hideous habits that I can't ha e a say in bcz he gets angry, like last night he took the last $10 to my name till pay day just to give to his brother so they can buy whatever the heck they buy for $10. & when I said No he threatened me with not having a ride to work. It's ridiculous yet I can't get angry over anything I can't express myself and tell him to stop spending money on beer and only God knows what else. If I say anything all hell breaks loose and it's a battle, that I have to stand against and protect myself with all my might. He uses past arguments to start fights, he will find any reason to avoid me and when I ask for him to stop and relax he doesn't care it's like anything I've said in the past is brought up and makes him angry, when he should have said something then days past. I can't even share my emotions or feel moody from cramps or express myself bcz he takes it up the a whole. Like I'm the bad one, and like everything is my fault, Luke I'm the reason this relationship feels like shit, I'm the reason he has no job or can't go get one, or make any momey. Yet when I don't spend or give him my hard earned all hell breaks loose, he will snatch my purse, destroy stuff or argue and fight all night. What's sad is I got up after he threatens to kick me or shove me off bed & my little dog is sniffing under restroom door for me to let him in, but I can't open the door bcz I don't want him shoving it open or grinding his teeth yelling at my face. I'm truly sick of it all, I don't know how to leave when he's spent everything I have and destroyed my vehicle, even my relationship with my family for being with him. I sacrificed everything, I chose him over my loved ones who actually care for me. Now a decade later I'm in a shit whole I can't dig myself out of. He makes it sound easy to leave, but I know it's not. What I have left is tied up in the home, and I have animals so I can't just leave them. What do you do in a situation where enough is enough. Oh yeah I have bad credit bcz of him he destroyed it, I can't even get a bank account bcz of him. I don't know how he ruined it throughout this time but he did. All I've worked hard for and saved about 80-100k in a decade he's taken from me and spent ok his needs and wants. I once said I should take him to court for it and he got in my face and said try it b. I don't know what to do, yes I love him when he's sober and nice but it's like an ogre and dusk he turns into someone else something I don't want to know or be around, and if he doesn't get his way he will do this all morning until he knocks out. Did I mention he's always accusing me of something but when I ask about this or that oh I'm in the wrong and I better shut my mouth. Yet he gets mad when I do disrespect and call him names bcz he triggers me and leaves me no other option, it's gotten to where I can't hold back anymore and I want to stand up against him bit I am a woman and he a male and much stronger, one hand shoving me I fly across the room or he will hold me down aggressively bcz he's angry about something and I just let it happen bcz I'm tired of trying to defend myself. So many days I've gone to work with bruises or bruised swollen face bcz I have no choice but to go to work and make money for bills. I'm truly sick of the life I have been living with him, I am not happy and I'm more terrified how every day is going to begin and end is the same old routine he spends every night running up and down with his brother till about 6a.m I spend my days working or sleeping that by the time I do see him he already has a case if beer in his hands, it's like there's no pause no end to the life he lives and he's said it many times go if you don't like it & I'd love to it's just where, and how with animals I can't just leave behind & no working vehicle, no good credit to get my own place and no money down, no friends or family to help bcz he washed them all away.