u/Mont-ka

Good morning,

Looking for clarification on what is actually needed in this situation. I am taking my daughter to New Zealand for 3 weeks. I have permission from my wife to do this. We share the same last name.

I am confused about what I actually need on the meter of permission. The .Gov website just says I need the letter with context details of my wife. but when I do searches a lot of resources talk about needing to get it notarised. issue for me is that all the resources saying it needs to be notarised seems to be services trying to sell notarisation.

Is notarisation actually required or is the letter signed by her enough?

My wife told me 2 months ago that she kissed another guy at work. I forgave her and we discussed why it happened and what was happening with her and me and us.

She admitted that she had been unhappy in the marriage for 2 years and felt the romance had left. She said she felt I didn't love her anymore and so she fell out of love with me too.

The next morning we were intimate together on a really tender loving way. I thought we were sorted. Stuff to talk through, but sorted.

Later that week she dropped the bomb that she wanted a separation on the romantic side bit still wanted to cohabitate to raise our 3 kids into the foreseeable future. I agreed on the one proviso that she not start a new relationship while living together. She agreed.

She had been texting the guy she kissed all week then ended up sleeping with him in a hotel she booked 2 days after asking to separate.

She is still seeing him. This devastates me and is affecting the kids now as I'm just not present mentally.

Does anyone else have any tips on how to make this work in the short term until we can actually get separate housing sorted. She keeps acting like I'm the one in the wrong for getting upset.

Good evening,

I am currently in the process of separation. According to my wife there is no chance on reconciliation. I am trying to set up financial separation so that things are cleaner down the line.

My main concern is how to split joint expenses due to our salary disparity. She currently works 4 days a week, entirely by her own choice, she could have been working 5 days but wanted a day with our children. Due to this I am earning just under 60% of our household income.

I am happy to split all expenses 60/40 as if I didn't then she would have no money left over and that is not fair.

Main concerns for me to make this fair:

1. Should I be compensating her for that day she has off at nursery rates? I don't know quite how that should work.
2. I am a teacher so obviously I do and will continue to do childcare during school holidays. It feels weird for me to ask that compensation for that even enters the equation as they are my kids and I am not sacrificing potential salary during those weeks.
3. I still absolutely love her and am still in the deluded position that this separation may be recoverable. I feel this is cloudng my. normally, solid reasoning in this.

Any advice is welcome. She hates even taking about finances and has just always let me take care of it but I don't want to, even inadvertently, take advantage of her.

Thank you in advance.

Edit: despite seeing multiple replies here I can only see two of them. I also can't see my replies to those. Not really sure what's going on but thank you to anyone advising. I will hopefully be able to respond to you all eventually.