Is this just what marriage is like, or am I expecting too much?
My husband and I recently traveled abroad together for IVF treatment. It was a significant trip, emotionally and physically, and it made me notice something that’s been bothering me for a while.
Whenever there’s a free moment—at the airport, in a lounge, waiting for food, after we finish eating, in a taxi, walking somewhere—he’s on his phone. News, sports, social media, articles, I don’t even know exactly what. I don’t suspect cheating or anything like that. It’s not about trust.
It’s more that I find myself wondering: what’s the point of traveling together if we’re not really sharing the experience?
I started thinking that if I were alone, I could choose my own restaurants, my own schedule, my own pace, and I wouldn’t feel disappointed by the lack of interaction. Instead, I’m carrying the expectation that we’re doing this together, but a lot of the time it feels like I’m alone anyway.
We’ve been married for several years, and I’m genuinely curious:
Is this just how a lot of marriages become over time?
Is this a common “men” thing, where they can be perfectly content being physically present but mentally somewhere else?
Do other spouses feel lonely even when they’re sitting right next to their partner?
If you’ve experienced this, did you just accept it, talk about it, or did it point to a deeper issue?
I’m not looking to bash my husband. He’s a good person, and there are many things I appreciate about him. I’m just trying to understand whether what I’m feeling is normal or whether this is something worth addressing more directly.