u/Monticello2233

Yes picky dogs are frustrating and “ wasting” money on bones or toys they don’t use isn’t fun but it should never EVER enrage someone so much they become infuriated at the dog and yell at them and think the dog does it on purpose. It should never get to the point where you don’t want to look at the dog or be around them and say nasty crap things about the dog. It should never be like that I don’t care if they’re stressed or broke I don’t care what the reason is behind the emotions. Dogs never deserve to be treated like that or blamed for things they can’t control or small things like not. Eating. A. Bone. And if it really is that infuriating and turns you into a monster that says horrible things about their dog and want to rip their head off over PICKY or small crap like that. Then you shouldn’t own a dog. Or any animal at all.

And I guess it doesn’t matter that the dog hasn’t been even remotely picky for weeks and his behavior has been getting better and they’ve been doing better with them lately no that all doesn’t matter at all when he does anything he “ just can’t handle right now” which is anything from jumping a stranger or refusing to eat a bone he bought. He’s always one inconvenience away from not wanting anything to do with him especially every time he’s e em remotely picky. I don’t know if he ever means any of the nasty things he says about the dog when it’s like this , but I makes me so pained and angry to hear him talk about the dog like that, it doesn’t matter if they’re angry or on their period or too poor to waste money I don’t care no fog should be blamed for something like that and punished and talked about in such a way. It’s sick to me.

Because one day they won’t be here. One day they’ll be too old for bones and toys, and then they won’t be here, and one day they’ll regret getting so furious over small things. And regret all the times they didn’t even want to breathe near them. But right now that doesn’t matter to them , right now they don’t even want to look at the dog and next time he’s even slightly picky or too annoying it’ll be this all over again. Because he just can’t handle it yet selling the dog isn’t an option either because he claims to be “ too bonded”.

I really am just so tired , everyday I wake up with a headache that doesn’t go away, everyday my head hurts and my body hurts all the time, doctors never do anything it akways just hurts , work is just the same everyday but lately it’s been so exhausting, the only friend I have is exhausting, my family is exhausting, everything is just so exhausting lately .

I haven’t been caring about anything lately either , I don’t want to care about people and their issues anymore whenever I care it just doesn’t matter or it’s too hard to deal with when things only get worse for others. I’m too tired to care , caring is exhausting, it makes me a numb asshole but I don’t care lately, even being around my only friend feels like another weight pushing me down , I hate summers , I hate June I hate July I hate August, too many days out of the months are reserved for grief anniversary’s for my pets, my dad, my grandma, which makes everyday so much heavier and lonely. I hate summers I wish I could fall asleep and wake up in September and skip all of it and wake up okay…
my fault and I’m being a moody baby about everything but I’m so tired of things being things that require energy and motivation I don’t have I’m tired of caring I’m tired of people and I’m mostly tired of myself.

Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic , or just how I think , but I tend to think blatantly logically about things most of the time, about social situations, small issues that are mine and not mine, I don’t know i just tend to think very flat logically.., and a lot of the time I forget that speaking like that can be rude or mean to people. I don’t know if I’m describing it right.

Like for example , lately for the past few weeks my friend has been making home made wooden signs and hanging them up around the dog park by his house , because he’s had alot of issues with off leash dogs attacking his reactive dog he’s been making signs to tell people to keep their dog in a leash if they can’t be called back , I didn’t think it was a good idea in the first place because one it’s a public park and his signs aren’t from the city , two that’s technically littering and people are obviously gonna take it down , so I spoke logically and said that it would probably not last very long ,

which it didn’t, so he’s been doing this for almost a few weeks , every sign he puts up is gone the next day , he’s not giving up and is determined to “ not let them win, and seeing it taken down frustrates him a lot. I keep trying to tell him that logically, the signs aren’t never gonna stay up because people either think it’s littering , or because it’s not from the city so anyone can throw it away , which hearing all that he just disagrees with me and doesn’t want to let it go and stop , and gets annoyed at me for it, I’m not trying to be unsupportive, I also think he’s got the right motives and the message is something people should know but I just keep saying dumb stuff like logically it’ll keep getting taken down and than if doesn’t seem worth it . I’m not trying to be mean or unsupportive I just don’t want this to hurt his mental health or upset him too much . But I should know better and just be supportive or stay out of it. I do that a lot with people I speak to logically or I’m too whatever about things even when I know better than that and forget it hurts peoples feelings sometimes

My friend has never had stable mental health, but he was able to work at a small thrift store a few days a week, which was still hard but he managed, then he lost his cat two years ago and he has been going down hill ever since, his mental health is worse and worse, he’s still damaged and broken over it so much he has no patience for anything, no motivation no stability , he lost his job, didn’t even look for a new one the whole summer last year, then got the same job back only to loose it again due to the business going under,

now he’s completely broke, even more stressed and overwhelmed because not only does he not have money for himself he has a one year old husky dog to deal with ( who constantly makes him more stressed and depressed due to his bad behavior) he has two cats to take care off and a bunch of fish, he has no money for and no patience or joy in his animals since his soulmate cat was rehoused two years ago he’s just gotten worse. but he still hasn’t looked for a job at all, if his old job didn’t offer it back for a few days a week last year he still wouldn’t have one, it’s all gotten worse, he always says he’s too broken and unstable to work, that he just can’t, that he’s too unmotivated and everything else, but it’s gotten to a point where he knows he doesn’t really have a choice anymore, his pets need him to have money , he needs money to bus around and buy his own stuff , he is not happy about it and he feels like no matter what everything will be awful and he’ll feel awful, I’ve tried to help and be understanding but I know he needs a job, I told him he needed to find one soon after loosing his job because waiting too long can cause this exact situation, he gets PWD every month but after rent for his mom and such he’s not left with much for him and his animals to survive every month.

I just don’t know what he can do, given his mental health issues he cannot at all work cashier anywhere or retail anything involving cashier I’d not a option for him, I suggested working stocking shelves at pet stores or cleaning the tanks and habitats at pet stores, or applying to other small thrift stores , he really can’t handle anything overwhelming, which doesn’t leave him a lot of options, if anyone has any low key ideas I’m open to any advice.

I’m such a bad friend , I don’t know how to just be someone’s friend , I always do too much or I don’t do enough and it all gets worse ..

I try so hard to always listen , to always be there whenever they need me, no matter what I’m doing, where I am, I am always there for others.. to a point where even if I’m at work , or I’m at the movies, out running errands , I can’t stop myself from instantly texting back just to be there for someone when they’re upset, or angry, or having a crappy time. I try so hard to just be there to just listen but in the end nothing I say makes anything better, all my time and energy I pour into every litter thing trying to help just ends up being a waste of time, or they get angry and even more upset anyways, everything for everyone just gets worse no matter what I do ..

I can’t help and it hurts sm it eats me alive everyday because all I do is just watch people get more and more hopeless and depressed every-time I open my phone all I hear about is how awful everything is for my friend and how miserable they are, and no matter how tired I am I always try to listen to, I try to offer solutions or ideas that might help but I always offer too much, I get too sucked in and end up stressed out and anxious about their lives more because their problems feel like my problems.

But I am tired, I am so tired of it , I get so exhausted over and over whenever their pain and issues are too much for me to hear so much of everyday , it’s awful of me to say but I’m so tired of hearing about how miserable they are all the time. It’s just so much , all the time, nothing helps them nothing makes it better , everything just gets worse for them everyday it’s something else that ruins their day and makes everything worse.. and I can’t do anything about it and it’s hard to bear..

I’m supposed to be their friend , I’m not supposed to get tired of the constant issues and problems , I’m not supposed to be tired of the constant complaints and stresses they have everyday , I’m not supposed to be tired of someone going through a awful time in their life right now , I’m supposed to trust them and be there for them
I’m supposed to just listen I’m not supposed to constantly problem solve and judge them for problems they cause or how they react to things.. but sometimes it’s so hard not to be just tired of them , and that’s well of me to say .. and it feels awful too, I try so hard to find solutions for them but I end up being the problem..

And when I try to back away and care about my own life, whenever I try to not be so sucked in and worried about their problems I end up not caring so much I barley talk to them and sound like a asshole..

I don’t know how to just be someone’s friend
I either care so much it kills me and get so involved in their life it drains me
Or I don’t care enough and I become cold and empty to the point I just become a careless asshole to them..

It’s like I can’t find a middle ground I can’t care a normal amount about someone without worrying about their own issues I can’t just care about myself without being a isolated shell

I don’t know how to just be someone’s friend and I feel like such a bad friend either way

Maybe I’m just a jerk but I think if you can’t work a job or have the mental health and patience you shouldn’t own a pet.

If someone is never in the right “ headspace “ to work or find a job then they shouldn’t own a pet

If someone can’t find the “ motivation” to work or find a job when they literally own a living breathing creature that depends on them but that’s not enough then they shouldn’t own a pet

If you’re already miserable and severely damaged and broken, and your pet is constantly a source of stress and frustration and dissatisfaction don’t. Keep. The. Freaking. Pet

If you don’t have the patience for them or comps in about them or their behavior or call them names or they only make you more miserable and disappointed don’t keep or own. A pet

Call me crazy but a pet should make your day better, not worse , THEY should give you motivation not make you breakdown and sob because they don’t know any better. , they shouldn’t make you miserable they shouldn’t ruin your day, ruin your mood, ruin your relationships ruin your mental health they shouldn’t ruin your freaking life and if they do then they shouldn’t own one at all

People who refuse to give up animals that do nothing but make them miserable and angry but claim to be “ bonded “ to them and would “ miss them” are a different kind of horrible and delusional.

If a pet you claim to be bonded with isn’t enough for you to get over your crap and work a job or isn’t enough for you to actually enjoy time with then you shouldn’t own one at all

And maybe I’m just a jerk but frankly some people just shouldn’t own animals

My friend has issues , yes, and he has lots of mental blocks and struggles because of his issues I understand socializing and people are really really hard for him , he managed to work at a small thrift store for a while, at the time he had less responsibilities to pay for and he was mentally a bit more stable, but still struggled I get that.
Then last year he lost his job, I felt bad for him and at the time he had just adopted his puppy mind you, and I wasn’t too worried , I was sure he knew the importance of finding a new job as soon as possible so the puppy and himself didn’t suffer for it, but wow I was wrong,

he spent the entire summer of last year refusing to look for work , refusing to even consider it because all he was focused on was his cat that was taken from him , and because his abusive mom told him he had to find a job, the whole summer he screamed and cried and lost more and more sanity and money because he refused to work, he said he couldn’t , he didn’t want to he wasn’t ready , having a big dog bread and himself to take care of, his mom demanded he get a job so he wouldn’t sleep in till 4 pm every day and be a adult , he got kicked out of his house with his dog because he did everything but get a job and listen to someone. And still refused to work. I was there through all of it ofc I’m his friend but it was a nightmare I watched him scream and cry and drink and smoke and drown and refuse to even consider doing something to better his situation. And I was so unbelievably frustrated with him too, every excuse he made to not find work every excuse and reason he gave to keep lounging in misery and be broke and miserable made me so angry no matter what I did.

And by a miracle his old job was offered back to him for only two to three days a week, which he took because without it he never would’ve found one on his own, he went back to working the same job for a few months, the money wasn’t great but it was something, ofc he hated it and ofc he socially fumbled it but still did it , then of course a few months ago he quit the job because the money and hours were doing nothing for him ( note at this point he adopted two more cats and still had his big breed dog )

And now he’s right back to doing anything but look for a job, he’s trying to sell small homemade things online which isn’t a job enough for him and three animals. But no EVERYTIME I mention a job he shoots it down cause “ he just isn’t ready yet “ or “ I don’t have the motivation “ when he has three living breathing animals who should be all the motivation he needs not to mention himself. But no he can’t do it he socially can’t and doesn’t want to , he refuses and doesn’t want to EVERYTIME and as much as I understand and feel bad for him it’s so frustrating to hear the same thing every-time then hear him be sad about being broke.