u/MooshryMush

So I've been clean for 99 days but relapsed yesterday, unfortunately. I mostly cut on my thighs and have hit the white part before, but its never ever been purple before.
The blood was extremely dark, like way darker than usual, but also deeper than usual. The lines are a purply maroon and the actual skin around it is like purple/red bruise like dots. bruise dots.
Is this normal?? I do have alot of veins over here and the blood was coming out like faster than usual. Not to get graphic im just trying to make sure im okay.

Im a little nervous because its literally never ever been purple and i feel like its very pinkish purplish.

edit: my hands and the blade were not clean. the blade most likely had micellar water, face-oil and eyebrow gel on it.

cw: financial stress and cptsd

For context, I grew up dirt poor with abusive, druggie parents. Ive lived in trailers, hotels, airbnbs, and 1 bedroom apartments (4 person family with a dog). I've cut most of my family off as i now live with a different family member.

I never had food or clothes or school supplies and even today my current guardian only makes about 30k a year for the both of us. (rent/food/etc)

I got my first job a year ago but started saving about a month ago. I pay for my clothes, soap/toothpaste/deodorant, school supplies, shoes, and soon will start paying rent.

But i have 540$ in savings:) I'm really proud of myself for having money for the first time ever, especially for an emergency fund. I also have a little over 600 dollars to buy myself new clothes this weekend at this huge mall near me. This would be the first time ive ever purchased alot of new clothes that are new and that I like. (all of my clothes have been old and holey handmedowns for years)

I'm very happy i've saved enough money to go on this trip and have an emergency fund. Thats something that was never taught to me, and i'm proud at my age ive worked hard enough to do that.