u/MountainAir4311

Hello everyone!

I thought I’d give an update since my last post because a LOT has happened since then and in a great way! First, I took the salsa class and actually decided to add the bachata class that’s afterward. I’m really glad I did because they were both AWESOME! I fell in love with it right away. It’s definitely a challenge to learn though I did find bachata a little easier than salsa. Either way I’m IN it!
I also went to my first social over the weekend! I probably should’ve waited a little longer because I had no idea what I was doing but I made some friends, danced a tiny bit, and had a really good time. I wanted to wait to make this post until I had actually done everything so I could talk about how it went.

Salsa/Bachata Class: Amazing! Everyone was nice and talkative and I met plenty of people. I was pretty nervous at first but I quickly got into it. Salsa was definitely a bit harder than bachata but I actually like the challenge.
I’ve been doing a lot outside of class to learn the beat and I think I’m finally starting to get it. I’ve also been practicing what I learned in class whenever I can, I’m just in it!

First Social: The instructor invited me to one of the weekend socials and a few of my classmates wanted me to go too so I decided to go even though I was super nervous. We started with an intro type class before the social opened up for dancing and that really helped with my nerves. I got to dance with different partners while practicing a bachata move set and it was a lot of fun! I even met someone from class who helped me get used to the social setting. They eventually pushed me to actually dance. I was hesitant because I didn’t really have a good feel for the beat yet and my basic step and turns are meh at best. I didn’t want to subject anyone to my terrible dancing! They gave me a good pep talk though, so I went ahead and asked a girl to dance with me.
And we danced!
I mean, it was only for a short while toward the end of the song but I led, had her do a turn and then I did a turn myself. I think I got a high five at the end too but honestly I was freaking out so much that I’m not even sure lol!
My instructor even came up to me a little while later and told me good job for getting out there and dancing. I just felt so much support from everyone. It honestly makes me wish I had started all of this sooner. It’s so much fun and just awesome!

Therapy: I’ve only had a sort of introduction so far but they were really happy that I took the class and went to the social. I told them it was way outside of my comfort zone but I felt more alive there than I have in years. It honestly feels like I got my spark back. I’ll certainly have plenty more to talk about and work through here but I feel like I’m on the right track.

Overall, I’m very happy I decided to get into this and I’m definitely in it to learn, improve, and get better. I wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice and wished me luck after my last post. I’m truly thankful for this community as a whole and I’m really looking forward to seeing where this takes me and hopefully getting better along the way.

Thank you!

Hi all,

I (29M) just turned 29 and it has been a wake up call to me. I feel like I wasted a lot of my 20s and not to go into too much detail but I think I have a lot of issues with self worth and self confidence. I’ll be starting therapy to help in about a week and I’m eager to make some changes in my life.

With that I’ve been trying to find something to do to get me out of the house and be social because I work remotely and all my friends just play video games. I’m pretty introverted but honestly I’m feeling like I need to be extroverted or at least have some type of social interaction. I tried a rock gym and it was okay but most people are doing their own thing. But then I saw an advertisement for intro Salsa classes. I’m pretty impulsive and thought why not and before I could second guess it I signed up for it. Now I have a few days to the class and I’m really nervous and excited because I do NOT dance and I don’t know what to expect. I want to challenge myself and I think it’d be a good combo with therapy to help me improve my sense of self.

I wanted to know if anyone has been in a similar boat as me and if it helped you. Also… what shoes do I wear? I’ve seen some stuff posted here and the email said sneakers are okay but I’m trying to see what’s best. I have converses if those are better?

Edit: Thank you all for the support! I had no idea this community was so supportive, it’s really reassuring and helping with my nerves! Thank you for all the advice, I will keep all that in mind and I will absolutely give this a good try. I’ll try to follow up with another post how the first class goes! Thanks again!

I’m at a startup tech job for a very small company. I’ve been here for over a year and I’ve been absorbing more and more roles and responsibilities, the processes change so frequently that I have to write the changes to maintain what the new way is, and I get blamed when something isn’t right. I’ve been told there’s no room for mistakes, this has led me to even staring at the email I’m about to send to a client for 10-15 minutes trying desperately to ensure there’s no mistakes. Meanwhile my boss (the owner) makes mistakes even while we’re meeting with clients and it’s no big deal.

This has been ongoing and it actually led to another coworker of mine to leave and so I absorbed their responsibilities and now I feel how they felt. I already felt like this job wasn’t for me but the constant scolding and when I tried to talk to my boss about it i was called immature and ungrateful rather than acknowledging how I feel frustrated with everything. So I’m going to start making my out I think.

My question here is what would you recommend I do to explore transitioning into therapy? I had this thought come up before all this and now I’m seriously considering making the move. My thinking was to reach out to therapists and social workers to learn more about what they do, the challenges they face, and the day to day work. I was also considering pursuing QMHP certification and trying to find roles in that to see if I like the field. Would this be a good option? I have my first bachelors in Psychology and my second in Computer Science. It is crazy that I did all this to go into IT but I feel like my boss single handedly made me hate IT as a whole. I’m applying for other IT roles currently at the very least and trying to calm down before making any major transitions but I wanted to hear your thoughts. Ultimately I wanted to go for a MSW so I have versatility in different roles but have been very interested in therapy.

This is my first real IT job after changing career fields and completing my second degree. It's a small company and over time I've gradually taken on more and more responsibilities. My original role has turned into wearing multiple hats as I’m project coordination, documentation, client communication, administrative work, and supporting the technical side of projects. I don't mind working hard but I constantly feel like I'm behind. The biggest issue is that our processes change all the time. One week we're told to do something one way, then the next week it's completely different. I actually have to document those changes because there isn't really a central process and I almost feel like I need to keep a record just to remember what the "correct" way was at that moment.

The frustrating part is that if I follow the most recent direction and it later changes, I still end up getting blamed for it. It feels like I'm expected to think independently, but at the same time I'm also expected to run every decision by my manager. If I wait for approval, I'm not moving fast enough. If I make a judgment call, I should have waited. It honestly feels like I can't win.

Recently I sent a draft email to my manager for review because I had specifically been told not to send it to the client until it was approved. I never received feedback so I brought it up several days later because we needed to move forward. Instead of simply reviewing it, I got chewed out because my manager decided to change the event all together and now everything needed to be rewritten. I was also told in front of a coworker that my work couldn't really be trusted right there and that honestly hurt more than anything else.

Later that same day, a client requested a deliverable. I tried reaching my manager but couldn't get a response. This isn't unusual because they're constantly tied up in meetings and doing whatever else. Since I've also been told I need to make decisions on my own, I made what I thought was the best judgment call and sent it. It turned out the document needed revisions. The client was completely understanding when I followed up and told them we'd send a corrected version. My manager was not. I woke up the next day to multiple emails explaining how serious the mistake was, followed by a phone call on my way to work where I was told how upset they were. That was the point where I finally admitted how I'd been feeling for months. I said I don't feel confident in my work anymore. I feel like I don't know what's expected of me. I feel like I receive very little actual training because they’re too busy, and I spend most of my time trying to figure things out while hoping I don't make the wrong decision.

I poured my heart out and in response I was told I was immature, ungrateful, and that I'd been given plenty of opportunities. I was also told that if I wanted to leave, I could. That wasn't even what I was trying to say, I wasn't threatening to quit. I was trying to explain that I feel lost and wanted to improve our communication and processes so I could do better. There was an apology later for criticizing me in front of my coworker and we talked a little about improving processes but the conversation still mostly came back to what I need to improve. Now I just feel... checked out. My confidence has taken a huge hit. Every decision feels like it's going to be wrong. I second-guess everything I do because I'm worried I'll be criticized for making the wrong call or fired. I'm honestly questioning whether this career is even for me anymore even though I know this one experience probably shouldn't define IT as a whole. It’s actually made me hate it and I’m honestly considering an entire career change. I just feel stuck because I signed a contract to pay back the certs for the role I have or give two years back to the company and the certs totaled are about $6,000.
 
TL;DR: I work in a role where processes constantly change, expectations feel inconsistent, and I regularly get criticized for decisions I make despite trying to follow directions. After months of feeling like I couldn't do anything right, I finally spoke up about how overwhelmed and unconfident I feel. Instead of feeling heard, I was told I was immature and ungrateful. Now I'm mentally checked out and questioning whether I need a new job or an entirely new career.