u/Mountain_Call_3344

I’ll try to not get too deep into it, but I think like the defining disaster of my life was when I realized everyone dies when I was 16. I mean like I knew, but thats when I started focusing on it. and idk what made it so different for me than everyone else, but my life totally changed from that moment. for 2 weeks I lost my appetite and lived on Gatorade, had panic attacks every day as soon as I woke up, and for 6 months it was just hell.

its been 7 years since that summer and life has never been the same. its okay, i learned how to be happy again. it has still hung over me all this time. its affected every aspect of my living experience in a quite bad way and sometimes I worry about it. I’ve tried just about everything and don’t need anyone’s advice.

but something I never tried was “talking” to a personified existential dread. I mean, it’s almost like internal family systems therapy except the character is a total jerk LMAO. It was so bizarre talking to this being that represented the thing that totally overtook my entire life and shook me to my core. and he wants to play sudoku. crazy shit. i don’t know what it fixed, but it fixed something.

okay so I’m making this post because I want to share what I did. it was also built up on principles/research I learned from healthygamer over time. its entirely free. I’m not selling or sponsoring anything.

the gist is: using an MDM software to manage your own mobile device. you know how high schools give out chromebooks and stuff that are limited in what apps they can download? its like that. as far as I know it works perfectly on samsung phones to disable the browser and ban all apps on the playstore except a whitelist you can edit from your computer. I believe it is possible to manage other phones this way including apple but I haven’t tried it. it took some fiddling and research, just a couple hours. it may seem crazy but yeah you’ll have to factory reset your phone if you want to use that device. but all that stuff can be backed up and reuploaded. it was worth my mental freedom lmao.

let me break down why it works:

the golden rule is convenience = frequent behavior. this is backed up by science. I used to watch reels or whatever 4+ hours a day and couldn’t stop no matter how hard i tried. it takes so much willpower to not grab the device on your hip 24/7 and remove whatever pathetic timer limits you put in place and reinstall the apps. there is almost NOTHING that will ever be more convenient to do than stay sitting and reach for your phone. and the brain always prefers the easiest route. trying to resist it just drains your willpower every day until you eventually go back.

by making it so I have to go all the way to my computer, log in to the manager software, whitelist the app and create my account again from my phone, there are now 100+ easier things I could go do. and it takes a fraction of the willpower to resist doing all that. does that make sense? idk.

as a gen z i have always been tethered to the internet and honestly i still don’t have the best social situation. being on the internet was important to me so i still have it. its just wayyy more balanced for me now. I generally don’t hop on video games or scroll Reddit or youtube (installed UnTrap for YouTube extension so no short form media on any of my devices!) until 4-10 hours after waking up and being sort of done with working for the day. i DID put discord on my phone to chat with friends and have that online social aspect while having very minimal content scrolling. i disabled the browser entirely so I can’t open links or use the web. I can however google things and see the results page. I have maps, my bank app etc. all the good parts of a smartphone.

the point is you can customize it. i recommend deleting accounts you have for tiktok or instagram even if it means being disconnected. if you have businesses there are apps that let you post to your accounts without having to log into them. there is ALWAYS a workaround. the most important thing is convenience. don’t let the world make you think having addictive softwares tied to your hip 24/7 is how you have to live.

I was severely depressed, in an abusive situation with a disability when I made my phone like this. it was the BEST thing I ever did. over 2 years ago. I wouldn’t have successfully gotten where i am now if I didn’t have the ability to get up and do some things every day without even the desire to scroll. now I’m in an apartment in a nice area, a junior majoring in software engineering, I have emergency savings, and I practice drawing for 30 minutes every morning because anything is infinitely better than no practice. I wouldn’t be here without every bit of time and energy I saved by building my surroundings strategically.

please for the love of god, no one has to live like that. some people just need apps for jobs or medical reasons or just life and that’s okay. I hate what smartphones have done to my friends, my family, and no one realizes there are more options than living with a flip phone. please seriously consider doing this method, it could be the change you have been looking for if you are sick of doomscrolling.