How do I reconcile falling out of love?
Long story short my marriage is ending. We were together since college in 2012 married nearly 7 years, and my partner, Yew, has fallen out of love with me.
We were never quite sexually compatible. They didn't know what they wanted, first AFAB, then gender fluid, then Ace, then Bi, and now gay. I'm a straight cis man. Loyal to a fault. Gay is an identity that doesn't involve me anymore.
I won't pretend I didn't contribute or see this coming. I started our poly journey because I had needs they couldn't meet. I'm just sorry that they changed so much and see me as this negative person. I don't want to be the person they see me as, but as I write this I think I'm tired of trying to be someone for them and not someone I want to be.
The hardest part is that if they changed their mind I'd do anything to stay with them. I'm so in love with them and they said they love me but are not in love with me. Marriage to me also means sexual intimacy, and they said they don't find me attractive. They also want to be monogamous with our mutual girlfriend, Oak, who it is very clear wants to be with them and not me so much anymore either.
We tried the counseling thing, and I am seeking professional help. But for those of you out there who have had marriages fall apart and divorced, how did you cope? How do you begin? How can I separate myself from this house, this life, this perception of unconditional love, and all the struggles it brings? I don't want this but I don't think there's much of a choice anymore.
I just wanted a chance to rekindle the spark of romance we once had. But they're a different person and I'm the same old me.
This sucks so bad. Thanks for listening.