I'm currently doing summer school (reach ahead, I didn't fail), and I'm really struggling with doing the work. I'm trying to stay on top of it and do it same day, but every time I write a single word I feel the need to get up and take a walk. And if I try to resist the urge, it just gets stronger until eventually my brain literally can't think of anything until I go for a lap. What do you guys typically do to combat this?

I'm on the brink of a meltdown literally every day because things aren't working out as I planned. I by myself something to eat? It goes missing when I finally have the energy to make it. I plan to do something on a certain day? I have to change everything because someone sprung something up on me. Put my charger in the same place? Someone moves it and loses it. Come up with a system to drink water? Someone messes with it when I need it most. And so much more!

I just want my life to go according to plan. I know life is unpredictable, but I specifically did everything to help myself stay grounded and now it's all ruined. I don't even want to do anything else anymore because it'll just get ruined by unpredictability. Everything is just slipping through my fingers when I did everything to get ahold of it.

And don't get me started on when someone forces me to talk and tell them what's wrong. You know I'm autistic and you're GENUINELY forcing me to talk when I am SECONDS away from a meltdown!?! First I can't control the situation, and now you're making me feel worse and ruining my ability to feel myself back in on my own terms. I just can't do anything :/

I can't remember the last time I actually had a whole meal. Most of my days consist of eating snacks and one 'meal' at best. I can't even do my sports anymore because my performance is so bad and I just feel sick the whole time. And sometimes I can't even eat anything all day. It's night and I haven't eaten anything since yesterday? And even then it wasn't a proper meal. Just a slice of pizza. I can't even remember what I had the day before that, but based off the way I've been feeling, it probably wasn't a lot either.

I just keep getting false hope. I get better for a week or two at most, and then I flare up again. And even worse, my safe foods switch up so much now. Before it was every couple of days/weeks. But now it's within minutes. It's like my body is taunting me or something. If this continues, it's only a matter of time before I have to quit drama, or going to school in person at all

Just needed to get that out.

TW TW TW TW TW!!!!! This post is kinda in depth so yeah.

I can't seem to stop picking—or rather biting—at my fingers no matter what I do. Specifically this one thumb. I'm just so drawn to the excess skin. And when I try to stop, I end up instinctively rubbing the ragged skin of my thumb against my lips, tempting myself into biting even more.

It used to not be so bad, just occasional biting of the excess skin. But now there's like a distinct (tiny) area of my thumb where the top layer of skin has been bitten off. Like, I'm black, but that area is like pink instead of brown like my other thumb. But it's not feel or really bad or anything. I'm just worried about how the area/frequency has seemed to grow a lot in a short amount of time.

And I know it's bad, but I don't wanna stop. It makes me feel something akin to happiness. Like, not quite joy, but more than indifference (I forgot the word). But I know I have to stop cause it's gonna cause me more harm than good. Like how my throat is really sore from my last session (irritation from eating the skin).