Hi, I have ADHD and a skin picking problem that can take hours out of my day. I find that when I pick I get caught in a sort of trance-like state where my mind feels stuck and dazed. Even when I manage to stop I can't seem to think properly and feel zoned out.
I was wondering if anyone knew how to snap yourself out of this daze?
I have curly hair. I pick at dry parts of my scalp, and while I usually relapse only when I haven’t washed my hair recently (probably due to itchiness increasing because of sweat), when I use curl cream, gel, etc, I find myself scratching even when my hair is freshly washed. Maybe it’s triggered by the products being cheap? Does anyone with curly hair know what products don’t make you more likely to pick scalp scabs? Could the products be causing it?
It’s been over a year. I can’t stop picking my feet. I pick them until they bleed and have deep sores. Sometimes i cannot walk the next day until the sores heal. I used to be a runner - I had to give that up. I don’t want to live like this. My partner hates it, I hate it. I pick all the time - we just got back from a beautiful relaxing vacation in Spain and i was picking my feet open on the sun lounger on the beach. Now that it’s flip flop season i also pick my feet in public such as at restaurants (i don’t even realise I’m doing it until someone calls me out). It’s so gross.
I don’t even stop when there is a huge risk to my health - I backpacked through India once and the next day we had to walk through a swampy area with sewage. I still couldn’t resist picking my feet until there were open sores. Of course i caught a bad infection from the sewage and required antibiotics.
I really can’t stop and it’s destroying me.
I posted here 2 months ago, got some great feedback, and wanted to share what's new in the app since!
Backstory: Around a year ago, I built a simple web app for my friend who is dealing with skin picking, and shared it here. I received great feedback and built SkinAware based on it :)
The app is called SkinAware on iOS, Android and web!
If you have not heard about it before, its main features are:
New since my previous update:
SkinAware has a free version, with some additional features included in Premium.
Would love to hear what you think!
Links:
iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/skinaware-stop-skin-picking/id6754027225
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.aurelius5.SkinAware
Website: https://www.skinawareapp.com/
Thank you so much
/ Linus
I used to pick so much at my hands. Im so happy to see how far ive come. Things that have worked:
cuticles clippers
acrylics
nail polish
Whoever is reading this, you can do it!
A childhood friend asked me: “Why don’t you just stop?” (regarding my hair pulling)
The question assumes that this is mainly a matter of free will.
That if I really wanted to stop, I would be able to. And therefore, the fact that I haven’t stopped yet somehow means that I’m weak.
I think that’s one of the reasons this question can be so frustrating for people dealing with BFRBs.
While working on SoloUno, I’ve talked to over 100 people dealing with BFRBs, and I’ve seen how triggering this question can be when it comes from family members, friends, or spouses.
I want to explain why, in my opinion, this is the wrong way to think about it - and why people dealing with BFRBs shouldn’t think of themselves as weak.
I used to smoke cigarettes, and I quit several years ago.
I was able to stop.
That experience made me believe strongly in my willpower and my ability to change unwanted behaviors when I really decide to.
But my experience with hair pulling has been very different.
I’ll try to explain, from my own experience, why I think these are very different situations.
You can’t take out a cigarette, light it, start smoking, and then suddenly notice that you’ve been smoking for the past five minutes.
Smoking is something you do while being aware that you’re doing it.
With BFRBs, that’s not always the case.
My hand tends to go automatically to my beard and start playing with it. It happens while I’m working, when I’m stressed, bored, or simply focused on something else.
My hand goes there without me deciding to put it there.
Sometimes I just suddenly notice it in my beard.
And from there, pulling can start - sometimes without me being fully aware of it.
So the first difference is that it’s much easier to slip into the behavior, which makes it much harder to “just stop.”
Let’s say I notice my hand moving around my beard. Now what?
I have to consciously take it away.
That part isn’t automatic. It requires attention.
Which means the struggle between me and my hand isn’t really an equal fight.
My hand can go to my beard automatically, but taking it away requires a conscious decision.
Who do you think wins that battle over the course of an entire day?
If my hand automatically moves toward my beard 50 times a day, how many of those 50 times will I notice it and actively make myself move it away?
In this kind of battle, the automatic behavior can beat willpower many times - even when motivation is very high.
These two things alone, in my opinion, are major obstacles to “just stopping”:
That already puts willpower at a disadvantage.
We have a lot going on in our daily lives - work, family, stress, responsibilities, everything else.
We can’t spend the entire day actively fighting a habit every single time it appears.
I’m not saying this to be discouraging.
I don’t think we should give up.
I think we should look at it differently: as something we can improve over time, but something that may require practice, training, and repeated effort.
Maybe “just stopping” works for some people, and of course it’s worth trying. But when it doesn’t work, I don’t think that means you failed.
I’m saying this because telling someone to “just stop” misses what actually makes these behaviors difficult.
Well-known approaches such as Habit Reversal Training include exercises designed to increase awareness and help people reduce these behaviors, and I think they’re worth trying.
That’s also why I built SoloUno - to help people dealing with BFRBs channel their attention and effort into dealing with these habits more effectively, one day at a time.
And if you’re dealing with a BFRB, I don’t think you should see yourself as weak.
The fact that our habit keeps happening in our day-to-day life doesn’t mean we lack willpower. It’s simply part of what makes these behaviors so difficult to change.
And I think that means we should start with some empathy toward ourselves.
We’re not doing it because we’re weak. We’re dealing with a behavior that can be automatic, repetitive, and difficult to control.
So we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves.
For me, the balance I’ve found is to put effort into training and improving when I have the motivation and attention for it - and to have some compassion for myself when I don’t.
That doesn’t mean giving up.
It means accepting that this is something I’m working on over the long run, without making myself feel ashamed every single day because the unwanted behavior is still there.
At least for me, that change in perspective has helped.
I (24m) constantly hurting myself by picking skin off my body since I was 12. I sometimes used needle to open my skin a little bit. I constantly regret it because everyone thinks I'm ugly and I can't find job because of this which only make it worse. Rarely I manage to heal some of my wounds. I remember one time I got whole face damaged from this 3 years ago. I hate myself for that. Nobody should do it to themselves.
I tried many things like hygiene products that recommended my friends or playing with anti-stress ball or wearing gloves.
I visited multiple psychologists which was not helpful for me. I honestly have theory that it could be something with undiagnosed ADHD.
I apologize for writing that much of long text
Hello, I was hoping I could get some advice about how to heal skin-picking wounds- down there, to be specific.
I am an 18-year-old female, and I have struggled with severe skin picking since I was nine. Around the age of 14, I began plucking hairs and digging holes into my private area (in addition to everywhere else).
I have struggled with this for a long time; however, I have found coping strategies, and I got medicated! Over the years, I've noticed it's much easier to heal the skin I've picked on any other area of my body- not my private area, though.
It's embarrassing to talk about because it looks very off-putting. I have so many scars and tunnelling, but that's not the biggest problem. I have large pus-filled bumps all over my vaginal area now that I have been picking less. I do not know how to go about draining or healing these spots.
I hope to have them heal in some months; I don't want to carry these bumps and scars deep into adulthood. I've never worn a bikini because of the skin down there; I fear the thought of intercourse because of how awful it looks.
I had been to a dermatologist before, and they did not know what to do.
I have decided to start using a hot compress, but I feel sort of clueless- it feels like I am the only one with this issue.
Any advice would be appreciated- I am desperate to try and fix this.
I need some help, I genuinely cannot stop picking at my acne, but I also do it with completely ordinary skin bumps..
In "short", I don't even need to be looking in a mirror, if I feel a bump under my fingers, I'll automatically start scratching at it, sometimes without even realizing I'm doing it, and it happens all over my body, my face, neck, shoulders, back, thighs, legs, arms, basically everywhere.
Sometimes I end up using extremely harsh skincare products (and even hydroalcoholic gel ??) on my face to the point where my skin becomes really dry and starts peeling, because for some reason I'm much less likely to scratch when my skin is very dry or burning.
I also sometimes use a needle on any bump I can feel because it feels less destructive than scratching it I guess, but unfortunately I sometimes end up doing it until it bleeds.
A little unrelated, but I also wash my hands constantly before and after scratching throughout the day, so my hands have become extremely dry and irritated too...
I know this sounds extreme, but I've genuinely never managed to stop. I've been doing this for years and it's exhausting, it's really destroying what little self-esteem I have.
I'm also autistic (diagnosed), and I don't know whether that could be related to this behavior in some way, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Does anyone have any advice for breaking these habits..?
Hi!! I’ve finally decided to reach out regarding an issue I’ve had since I’ve been a teen. I pick the skin around my nails and sometimes so badly that it hurts and bleeds so the skin around my nails is always dry. I’ve tried to find solutions and let it rest and heal so occasionally I pick the skin on my heels :( I’ve not been on medication for anxiety and preferably I’d like to try other ways (if there is any). any advice would be helpful! thank you x
I’ve been pretty quiet here for a while, so I figured it was time for an update!!
For anyone who’s new (or doesn’t remember me): I have personally picked my cuticles forever and work in behavioral health and see it all the time in my job too. Sooo I’ve been developing a reusable silicone sleeve that covers the nail and cuticle to help redirect skin picking, nail biting, and other BFRBs.
We’re finally getting close to launch, but I’ve learned that making the product was only half the battle. The real problem has been SIZING 😳
I wanted to launch with multiple sizes because accessibility has always been a core part of this project. But every additional size means another production mold, which gets expensive fast for a small business.
So lately I’ve been obsessing over things I never thought I’d know this much about:
average thumb vs. finger measurements,
how much silicone actually stretches comfortably,
which fingers people pick most often,
and how to make this thing fit as many people as possible without leaving people behind.
One thing I’m really excited about is our Fit Finder. Instead of asking you to guess your size, it’ll ask a couple of simple questions and recommend the best fit for you. Would be happy to share the specific Fit Finder questions ahead of time if people are interested!
This community has influenced so many design decisions over the past year, and I’m incredibly grateful for that. Thank you to everyone who’s shared feedback, encouragement, or even just followed along.
If you want to see the final prototypes, behind-the-scenes updates, and be the first to know when we launch in the next couple of months, I’d love to have you over on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitips/ The waitlist is open too and is going to flip to honest to gosh preorders in the next couple weeks! https://tranquilitips.com/
It feels surreal to finally be this close. Thanks for sticking with me. ❤️
Hello!
I’ve read about many products for helping blemishes after skin picking but I’m not sure what order/stage to use each in.
Could anybody be help out? I just wrecked my chest and back again and really want to help clear it. I’ve read about Nexacare Tegaderm, hydrocolloid, bio oil, exfoliating etc but don’t know when to use each (or other recs if you have them please share!!) Please indicate each stage and what you use:
Fresh wound stage: open wound - bandage?? A cream? Moisutrizer?
Healing/scabbing phase
Post scab/ hyperpigmentation
Scar
Thank you for all your help!!
i have been picking all morning at my atms and face and chest. i think it has been worse today for a few reasons but mostly 1) because i drank a good amount last night 2) dehydrated 3) tired 4) stinky smelly gross after walking around farmers market & cant shower till later
anyways i have plans tonight and i feel so ug. arms are bumpy, face is clogged, huge pores and picking scabs.
i am running errands and want to find products that will help me look, but most importantly feel, better*.*
are there any products or tips that essential to your post picking routine?
please help! no one in my life understands!
thank you!
I picked really bad the other night i didn't even realize how bad until the damage was done. Ive been doing anything and everything to heal up my face asap and this is the scarring from it. What can i do to get rid of these scars im so embarassed i go back to school in just a couple of days.
I did have patches on but ive ran out, and Ive also been cleansing throughout the day but mainly putting some aloe over everything, and ive done a salicylic acid mask twice throughout today. I did just find some aquaphor and have applied it, but is there anything i can do to make go away/fade even just a little?
Also please if anyone has any tips on how to stop or prevent things, im desperate this is ruining so much for me.
So I often pick my skin. Most of the rime even to the point of cuts, soreness, and/or bleeding. But I don't have a diagnosed medical problem.
I understand if that makes me not allowed to post here, but I need to ask if it's even a good idea to pursue help for it.
And how do I explain that I'm not self-harming but instead doing it without noticing and can't control it anymore?
I have been picking at my skin on the lips, fingers, legs, and any scabs/pimples for as long as I can remember.
People always think I do it for attention. Is there any way to explain it's not, without saying "I have skin picking disorder" since I have no diagnosis.
Is the goal to just go cold turkey and never pick again or just have the self control to stop? It’s so crazy to me how just 5-7 minutes of picking leads to scars that last for DAYS. Anyone have info on how you are thinking about this?
I have been skin picking since age 2. I joined OSPA (obsessive skin pickers anonymous), and it’s been the only thing to relieve me from compulsive skin picking behavior (after trying absolutely every other “solution” out there). It’s a little-known fellowship, so thought I would post here in case anyone hasn’t heard of it. Not promotion, just want to share my experience and hopefully it can be helpful to anyone still struggling.
Every time I get a mosquito bite it itches to no end! I usually scratch so hard that it becomes an open would within a day. Thus begins the cycle of it itches, I scratch, it bleeds, it scabs, I scratch. Then when it stops itching I pick the scabs off to the point where I have a crater. When it eventually heals, it leaves a horrible scar.
Sorry if everyone talks about this already or something!
I’m wondering if anyone else who picks their face experiences this.
If I stop going insane picking, my face, even open wounds, heal in a matter of days. I don’t have scars. It’s always current spots that tank my self esteem. I almost feel like this is what lets me keep doing it, knowing it will heal soon. Is that insane?
Comment what you think… is this possible/does this happen/ why
Hi Reddit readers, this is my first time posting here on Reddit because I really can't deal with the embarrassment of the scars on my legs anymore—which, to be fair, is totally my fault in the first place 🥺
This skin issue started as ingrown hairs on my legs. I was so obsessed with removing them, but afterwards, they turned into small open wounds. They formed scabs, which I picked off, starting the healing process all over again—heal, pick the scab, repeat—until they grew as big as a 1-peso coin. This isn't the only wound I have; I actually have three. One on my arm and two on my legs. The photo attached is of my lower right leg.
I just can't stop myself from picking at the wounds, which I know is very wrong 😭. Also, whenever it tries to heal, the skin gets thicker and turns darker. It isn't painful at all since it's super dry, but my main problem is: how do I get rid of this?
On top of that, whenever I get any kind of wound, it automatically leaves a dark mark afterwards, so I've accumulated a lot of scars over time. It has really destroyed my self-esteem. When I wear shorts, the scars are very noticeable because of their dark color. Sometimes when I go out, I just put concealer over them, but it doesn't really work because the dark hyperpigmentation still bleeds through.
I can't afford to get laser treatments right now because I have a lot of other priorities, but I really hope someone here can help me with my situation. Any recommendations or comments would be a huge help. Thank you so much! 🥺😭