u/Pristine-Turn7379

I have curly hair. I pick at dry parts of my scalp, and while I usually relapse only when I haven’t washed my hair recently (probably due to itchiness increasing because of sweat), when I use curl cream, gel, etc, I find myself scratching even when my hair is freshly washed. Maybe it’s triggered by the products being cheap? Does anyone with curly hair know what products don’t make you more likely to pick scalp scabs? Could the products be causing it?

I, 21F, recently met up with my 23M, soon to be 24, high school ex. We dated \*in 2019\*. I was 14 and he was 17. The relationship was codependent and bad at best. We fought for reasons teenagers should not fight for (we were both struggling with addiction and broken families and dumped it all on each other). Four years ago, I lost my virginity to him. He had a girlfriend at the time. I found out he lied and was actually taken when we had sex after the fact, when they’d already broken up a few months later. Based on the fact that he dated me as a high school senior when I was 14 and cheated on a past girlfriend with me, you can infer he is not a great and honest guy.

Four years passed. I stupidly thought he’d improved! He was my best friend for so long, and I had some sort of hope he’d finally achieved personal growth. I am only in the city he lives in once a year. I don’t live here, and neither do my friends and family. I vaguely knew he had a girlfriend (24F) but didn’t know for how long. Before we made these plans, he told me they’d broken up. I agreed to meet with him. At the bar we were at, I wanted to confirm they’d broken up before sitting down. He said yes.

During our conversation, he told me that he was trying to break up with her multiple times during their relationship, for 1.5 years. This implies they were together for longer, and it was pretty serious. He mentioned she lived with him. He also said every time he’d try to break up with her, she’d swore she’d change and never did.

Long story short, I was pretty drunk and ended up going back to his apartment. Ah well, I don’t even live here. We didn’t even have sex, we just made out etc, and then things physically failed on his part, so we just went to sleep. Poor decision, but whatever. No emotional damage done to me, I completely understand what a nightmare dating him again would be. Our first relationship was awful, even for a teenage one. As I was getting ready to leave, I saw that pictures of the two of them were still on his fridge. Her jewelry was still on a table by the front door. I haven’t ever seen a picture of her, but based on the one on the fridge, I found her in his followers. She still had pictures of the two of them up.

These obviously don’t look like two broken up people. He also mentioned that when he tried to break up with her, he told her he offered to help move her things to her mom’s apartment. If they broke up, she’d have somewhere to go, and wouldn’t still be living with him.

WIBTAH if I texted her and told her that he cheated (depending on what you count as cheating, but I think it counts in most people’s minds)? Should I just keep this to myself? Would she even believe me, or would I just interfere and make unnecessary problems in their relationship? I’d want to know if I was her.

I’m 21F. I’ve lived alone ever since I’ve moved to college. Coming home is always something I’ve dreaded during the holidays. After the end of this semester, I’m spending about 3 weeks with my mother.

She picks at me incessantly. Whenever I’m cooking, she’ll pick and say something I could do better. She asks me if I wear my retainer. I have had it for six years. I wear it every night. She asks me if I even eat vegetables (??? of course I do????). She’ll call me every hour if I’m out past 11 and texts me to no end, asking if I know how to get home (of course I know how to get home??? I have lived in this town before????).

Whenever I react and tell her I am an adult, she tells me that adults don’t react so sharply to things like this. She tells me I explode over nothing and don’t know how to socialize, and that other people notice it too and it’s so embarrassing (this is not much of a concern; I could not care less what people she socializes with think of me). She goes on and on about how there’s something psychologically wrong with me that I react so sharply to everything. When I ask her if she speaks to her adult friends this way, she says she has the right to be concerned for her child.

She completely ignores when I say I don’t want advice unless it’s asked for. She tells me that sometimes other people know better and it may be helpful to listen etc etc. I do not have the faintest idea what could cause this behavior. When I live alone, there are days when we don’t talk. It seems she trusts me to live and somehow not kill myself on accident through sheer stupidity.

What on earth comes out of parents when you’re around them as an adult? How does one fix this? Greyrocking seems to only fuel her more, she takes it as proof that I AM, in fact, incompetent. Is this cognitive decline? What kind of 6D mind chess is this?

I’m 21F. I’ve lived alone ever since I’ve moved to college. Coming home is always something I’ve dreaded during the holidays. After the end of this semester, I’m spending about 3 weeks with my mother.

She picks at me incessantly. Whenever I’m cooking, she’ll pick and say something I could do better. She asks me if I wear my retainer. I have had it for six years. I wear it every night. She asks me if I even eat vegetables (??? of course I do????). She’ll call me every hour if I’m out past 11 and texts me to no end, asking if I know how to get home (of course I know how to get home??? I have lived in this town before????).

Whenever I react and tell her I am an adult, she tells me that adults don’t react so sharply to things like this. She tells me I explode over nothing and don’t know how to socialize, and that other people notice it too and it’s so embarrassing (this is not much of a concern; I could not care less what people she socializes with think of me). She goes on and on about how there’s something psychologically wrong with me that I react so sharply to everything. When I ask her if she speaks to her adult friends this way, she says she has the right to be concerned for her child.

She completely ignores when I say I don’t want advice unless it’s asked for. She tells me that sometimes other people know better and it may be helpful to listen etc etc. I do not have the faintest idea what could cause this behavior. When I live alone, there are days when we don’t talk. It seems she trusts me to live and somehow not kill myself on accident through sheer stupidity.

What on earth comes out of parents when you’re around them as an adult? How does one fix this? Greyrocking seems to only fuel her more, she takes it as proof that I AM, in fact, incompetent.