A childhood friend asked me: “Why don’t you just stop?” (regarding my hair pulling)

The question assumes that this is mainly a matter of free will.

That if I really wanted to stop, I would be able to. And therefore, the fact that I haven’t stopped yet somehow means that I’m weak.

I think that’s one of the reasons this question can be so frustrating for people dealing with BFRBs.

While working on SoloUno, I’ve talked to over 100 people dealing with BFRBs, and I’ve seen how triggering this question can be when it comes from family members, friends, or spouses.

I want to explain why, in my opinion, this is the wrong way to think about it - and why people dealing with BFRBs shouldn’t think of themselves as weak.

I used to smoke cigarettes, and I quit several years ago.

I was able to stop.

That experience made me believe strongly in my willpower and my ability to change unwanted behaviors when I really decide to.

But my experience with hair pulling has been very different.

I’ll try to explain, from my own experience, why I think these are very different situations.

First, you can’t smoke a cigarette without being aware of it.

You can’t take out a cigarette, light it, start smoking, and then suddenly notice that you’ve been smoking for the past five minutes.

Smoking is something you do while being aware that you’re doing it.

With BFRBs, that’s not always the case.

My hand tends to go automatically to my beard and start playing with it. It happens while I’m working, when I’m stressed, bored, or simply focused on something else.

My hand goes there without me deciding to put it there.

Sometimes I just suddenly notice it in my beard.

And from there, pulling can start - sometimes without me being fully aware of it.

So the first difference is that it’s much easier to slip into the behavior, which makes it much harder to “just stop.”

The second challenge is that stopping requires my attention.

Let’s say I notice my hand moving around my beard. Now what?

I have to consciously take it away.

That part isn’t automatic. It requires attention.

Which means the struggle between me and my hand isn’t really an equal fight.

My hand can go to my beard automatically, but taking it away requires a conscious decision.

Who do you think wins that battle over the course of an entire day?

If my hand automatically moves toward my beard 50 times a day, how many of those 50 times will I notice it and actively make myself move it away?

In this kind of battle, the automatic behavior can beat willpower many times - even when motivation is very high.

These two things alone, in my opinion, are major obstacles to “just stopping”:

1. Sometimes the habit starts before I’m even aware of it.
2. And once it starts automatically, I need to use conscious attention and effort to interrupt it.

That already puts willpower at a disadvantage.

We have a lot going on in our daily lives - work, family, stress, responsibilities, everything else.

Our attention isn’t unlimited.

We can’t spend the entire day actively fighting a habit every single time it appears.

I’m not saying this to be discouraging.

I don’t think we should give up.

I think we should look at it differently: as something we can improve over time, but something that may require practice, training, and repeated effort.

Maybe “just stopping” works for some people, and of course it’s worth trying. But when it doesn’t work, I don’t think that means you failed.

I’m saying this because telling someone to “just stop” misses what actually makes these behaviors difficult.

I do believe we can get better.

Well-known approaches such as Habit Reversal Training include exercises designed to increase awareness and help people reduce these behaviors, and I think they’re worth trying.

That’s also why I built SoloUno - to help people dealing with BFRBs channel their attention and effort into dealing with these habits more effectively, one day at a time.

And if you’re dealing with a BFRB, I don’t think you should see yourself as weak.

The fact that our habit keeps happening in our day-to-day life doesn’t mean we lack willpower. It’s simply part of what makes these behaviors so difficult to change.

And I think that means we should start with some empathy toward ourselves.

We’re not doing it because we’re weak. We’re dealing with a behavior that can be automatic, repetitive, and difficult to control.

So we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves.

For me, the balance I’ve found is to put effort into training and improving when I have the motivation and attention for it - and to have some compassion for myself when I don’t.

That doesn’t mean giving up.

It means accepting that this is something I’m working on over the long run, without making myself feel ashamed every single day because the unwanted behavior is still there.

At least for me, that change in perspective has helped.

Hey!

Yesterday I launched my app on Product Hunt, and it was my first-ever launch. I ended up in 3rd place - which I’m super excited about - and wanted to share how I prepared for it, what worked, and what didn’t.

Not All Votes Are Made Equal

First, you need to understand that not all votes are equal. I read about this in a few different places online. I saw one source claim that a vote from a long-time Product Hunt user can be worth 30–50x more than a vote from a friend who signed up a minute ago just to vote for you.

Getting People to Vote and Support you

I think it’s better to focus your energy on figuring out how to reach people who already have Product Hunt accounts - developers, founders, etc. - rather than creating endless lists of people and asking them for a favor. I made a list of around 200 people, and it took a huge amount of energy. My feeling is that it wasn’t what really moved the needle.

I think it’s worth starting about 4 weeks in advance and signing up for Launchpat.io - It’s a site where founders vote for each other, and those votes can be quite valuable. The earlier you start, the more people will you can make a pact with. Looking back, I would have started even two months earlier if I had known.

That said, it’s probably still worth inviting your first - and second-degree circles to vote. I asked everyone to sign up two or three weeks in advance and connect their LinkedIn profile to their product-hunt profile so their accounts would be considered verified. From what I understand, that makes a difference and increases the value of their vote because the account looks less like a bot.

Your close circles are also people who will often be happy to comment on your social posts, and that may actually be their biggest contribution because they can help kick-start your traffic.

Reach Out to Influencers in Advance

If you know people who follow your project to some degree (they don’t need to be major influencers; even someone with a few hundred X followers can help) - or people you already have some relationship with, it’s worth asking them ahead of time to share your launch on launch day.

I contacted everyone I thought might be willing to share about two weeks beforehand. Some agreed and did share on launch day. It had a big imapct on traffic. It’s also worth reminding them the day before.

Tap Into the Communities Behind the Tools You Use

Services you use can be another source of votes. For example, I’m using bubble.io for some parts of my product. I posted in their forum that I was launching the product, and one of their employees told me that if I had let him know in advance, he could have gotten the whole team to vote (Unfortunately, it was Sunday and nobody was connected to Slack)

Get Your Users Involved

If you’re in contact with users who are happy with your product, it’s worth asking them in advance to support the launch. I understood that Product Hunt favors products that receive comments, and especially conversations/threads.

I asked users I’m in touch with to vote and leave a comment. I also asked them not to write it with AI, but instead to write in simple English about their actual experience. This created a lot of comments on the launch page that showed there were real people actively using the product.

Choosing your launch day

If your goal is to maximize your chances of ranking highly, I think Saturday or Sunday are better choices. Those days have less traffic.

Of course, that also means you receive less traffic, but in practice, if you’re not near the top of the leaderboard anyway, I think it's hard to get significant Product Hunt traffic.

Increasing your chances of being Featured in the first 4 hours

Find someone to hunt your product - basically someone who submits/backs your launch. I emailed someone who is considered a strong hunter and included plenty of links showing that my product was real and already active.

He agreed to hunt it. From what I understand, this can significantly increase your chances of being Featured during the first four hours rather than appearing near the bottom of the list.

Prepare high-quality content. From what I understand, this also increases your chances of being Featured during the first four hours instead of getting pushed down the list.

That means good-looking images, a video if possible, and taking the time to properly fill out all the information on your product page.

I made a fairly polished demo video. I paid a podcast studio for an hour of recording, and it was worth it because the result looked good. I practiced several times at home beforehand so I wouldn’t waste that studio hour on mistakes.

Preparing in advance for launch day

I read somewhere that it may also help to finish all edits to your Product Hunt page 48 hours before launch. I don’t know whether it actually matters, but I tried to have everything finished two days in advance.

Prepare Your Content in Advance

Facebook posts, Twitter/X posts, LinkedIn, whatever you plan to use - prepare everything beforehand.

On launch day, things move very quickly, and it’s hard to get into the right mindset for quality writing. It’s much better to have a bank of ready-to-go posts that you can simply publish wherever you need them.

Plan Your Launch Day Schedule

I also recommend preparing an actual schedule for launch day - what gets posted when, on which platform, etc.

You’ll find yourself messaging lots of people, sending reminders, writing posts, posting in WhatsApp groups and doing a million other things. Without some kind of schedule or task list, it’s very easy to lose track of everything.

The first 4 hours of the launch

Facebook Groups

Even though Facebook brought me very little traffic, I still think it’s worth starting the day by quickly publishing your pre-written post in any startup/dev Facebook group - Mainly because admins can take time to approve posts - if you post in the morning, it may only go live around noon. It takes a minute if you’ve prepared everything in advance, and then you can move on.

It’s also worth identifying in advance which of your friends are members of each Facebook group. Once your post goes live, send them a personal message asking them to comment on it.

Without comments, almost nobody in the group will see the post. If you don’t have any friends in a particular Facebook group, I personally don’t think it’s worth posting there because there’s a good chance it will get almost zero traffic.

X & Linkedin

X was the most important platform for me. If you publish good content and get people to share it, it can drive a lot of traffic.

I posted the short demo video I had prepared, together with a thread explaining the product and what it does. From there, I started messaging everyone I had previously asked to support the launch and asked them to share the tweet. In hindsight, that was really what got the day moving.

After that, I posted on LinkedIn and asked friends there to share it.

Whatsapp Groups

Then I posted in relevant WhatsApp groups (tech, indie dev etc). I intentionally saved WhatsApp for later because that way I could include both the Product Hunt voting link and links to the social posts, so the WhatsApp traffic could also help boost those posts.

Don’t Ignore the Product Hunt Comments

Every so often, it’s worth jumping back into Product Hunt to check whether people have left comments on your product - and if they have, reply to them.

Save Your Friends’ Votes for Later

During the first four hours, I actually put my list of friends who had agreed to vote at the bottom of my priority list. I assumed their votes would probably have the least weight, so I saw no reason to start with them. In my opinion, that gamble paid off cause I had more time to invest on X, Linkedin and to bring the high quality votes to support the launch

After the first 4 hours

This is when you see your ranking for the first time.

From that point on, you just keep pushing as hard as possible across every channel you have. Reply to comments on all your social platforms. Keep asking people to share. Post again in WhatsApp groups.

Only at this stage did I really activate my entire personal network of friends, and I’m happy I did it this way.

I think it’s worth waiting with them until you’ve exhausted your efforts through social media, WhatsApp communities, etc., because that’s where the higher-value votes are more likely to come from.

At this point I was positioned 2nd - and I used that to push a second wave of messages into Whatsapp groups asking people to help me go into 1st place

WhatsApp message from the “second wave” of launch outreach, showing SoloUno near the top of the Product Hunt rankings and asking the group for support.

The day after the launch

Personally thank everyone who voted for you after you’ve been driving them crazy during prepartions for the launch 😅

It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, but at the very least, start the message with their first name so it doesn’t feel like it was sent by a bot.

You can also tell them how the launch went and where you ended up ranking, so they feel like they were actually part of it and that you didn’t just use them for a vote. I think that’s important.

I think that’s it!!

This is SoloUno's launch page on PH

Questions?

My name is Omer and Im a solopreneur - Im dealing with hair-pulling (trichotillomania) for many years now and that what inspired me to build SoloUno

I used to smoke cigarettes and had successfuly rehabed using a rehab app so I thought it would be easy doing the same with my hair pulling, right?

Apperntly not.

I found out that hair pulling, like nail biting and skin picking are a part of a group defined by the DSM-5 as Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)

This group of habits are defined by peoples difficulty to completly stop them “cold turkey” and many people just tend to live with them

One thing became very clear to me: for many people with BFRBs, simply deciding to “just stop” isn’t enough. And when an app is built entirely around the goal of never doing the behavior again, every slip can feel like failure.

So I decided to flip the equation with SoloUno.

Instead of focusing only on one huge, all-or-nothing goal, SoloUno focuses on small daily wins - becoming more aware of the habit, resisting urges when possible, reducing the behavior over time, and building confidence along the way.

And I wanted to make the process fun and engaging enough that people would actually want to keep practicing.

I started reading research, tried therapy myself, and learned about evidence-based approaches used for BFRBs, including Habit Reversal Training (HRT), CBT, and ACT. I wanted to take principles inspired by these approaches and turn them into something people could practice in their everyday lives.

And that became SoloUno ✨

Click here to up-vote - I really apprecaite it!!

Anf of course would love to get any feedback!

Thanks!!

My name is Omer and Im a solopreneur - Im dealing with hair-pulling (trichotillomania) for many years now and that what inspired me to build SoloUno

I used to smoke cigarettes and had successfuly rehabed using a rehab app so I thought it would be easy doing the same with my hair pulling, right?

Apperntly not.

I found out that hair pulling, like nail biting and skin picking are a part of a group defined by the DSM-5 as Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)

This group of habits are defined by peoples difficulty to completly stop them “cold turkey” and many people just tend to live with them

One thing became very clear to me: for many people with BFRBs, simply deciding to “just stop” isn’t enough. And when an app is built entirely around the goal of never doing the behavior again, every slip can feel like failure.

So I decided to flip the equation with SoloUno.

Instead of focusing only on one huge, all-or-nothing goal, SoloUno focuses on small daily wins - becoming more aware of the habit, resisting urges when possible, reducing the behavior over time, and building confidence along the way.

And I wanted to make the process fun and engaging enough that people would actually want to keep practicing.

I started reading research, tried therapy myself, and learned about evidence-based approaches used for BFRBs, including Habit Reversal Training (HRT), CBT, and ACT. I wanted to take principles inspired by these approaches and turn them into something people could practice in their everyday lives.

And that became SoloUno ✨

Click here to up-vote - I really apprecaite it!!

Anf of course would love to get any feedback!

Thanks!!

Hey all!
My name is Omer and Im a solopreneur - Im dealing with hair-pulling (trichotillomania) for many years now and that what inspired me to build SoloUno

I used to smoke cigarettes and had successfuly rehabed using a rehab app so I thought it would be easy doing the same with my hair pulling, right?

Apperntly not.

I found out that hair pulling, like nail biting and skin picking are a part of a group defined by the DSM-5 as Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)

This group of habits are defined by peoples difficulty to completly stop them "cold turkey" and many people just tend to live with them

One thing became very clear to me: for many people with BFRBs, simply deciding to “just stop” isn’t enough. And when an app is built entirely around the goal of never doing the behavior again, every slip can feel like failure.

So I decided to flip the equation with SoloUno.

Instead of focusing only on one huge, all-or-nothing goal, SoloUno focuses on small daily wins - becoming more aware of the habit, resisting urges when possible, reducing the behavior over time, and building confidence along the way.

And I wanted to make the process fun and engaging enough that people would actually want to keep practicing.

I started reading research, tried therapy myself, and learned about evidence-based approaches used for BFRBs, including Habit Reversal Training (HRT), CBT, and ACT. I wanted to take principles inspired by these approaches and turn them into something people could practice in their everyday lives.

And that became SoloUno ✨

Up-vote here - thanks!!

Hey everyone! Ive been dealing with trichotillomania (hair pulling) for many years now and my personal struggle got me to try and build an app that would help me with realistic goals that I can actually achieve and feel good about im my day-to-day

It's called SoloUno, it's inspired by principles from

• HRT - Habit Reversal Training
• CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• ACT - Acceptance and commitment therapy

it's designed around small daily wins. People use it for hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting and other habits and addictions

When you sign up you dont have to disclose your habit/addiction.

Main features:

- Daily habit challenges (stay habit-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
- Quick habit loggings → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
- Habit-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
- One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
- Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
- Companion animals that level up as you practice
- Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

Would really love to hear what you think about the app!

Links :)
Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively

I built SoloUno it after trying Habit Reversal Training some years ago. I found that raising my awareness did help me reduce/avoid my habit, but I knew therapy wouldn't last forever, so I wanted an app that would enable me to practice day-to-day in a fun, fast, and engaging way

Main features:

• Daily habit challenges (stay habit-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
• Quick habit logging → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
• Habit-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
• One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
• Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
• Companion animals that level up as you practice
• Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

The app is subscription-based, but it comes with a 2-week free trial so you can properly test whether it works for you before paying anything

Would really love to hear what you think about the app! ❤️

Links 

Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465

Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively&hl=en

Hey everyone! Ive been dealing with trichotillomania (From the same family as skin picking) for so many years now and my personal struggle got me to try and build an app that would help me with realistic goals that I can actually achieve and feel good about im my day-to-day

It's called SoloUno, it's inspired by principles from

• HRT - Habit Reversal Training
• CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• ACT - Acceptance and commitment therapy

it's designed around small daily wins. People use it for hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting and other BFRBs.

Main features:

- Daily habit challenges (stay pick-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
- Quick habit loggings → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
- Pick-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
- One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
- Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
- Companion animals that level up as you practice
- Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

Would really love to hear what you think about the app!

Links :)
Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively

A friend recommended this book which I haven't started yet but looking forward to it. Curious what else people here have found genuinely helpful, whether it's clinical, memoir-style, or workbook-based. Open to anything

Thanks!

Hey everyone,

Wanted to share something that's genuinely helped me for over 3 years: cheap gaming gloves. I never drive without them.

You can grab them on AliExpress or similar sites for $3-5. Here's why I love them:

1. They breathe - I don't feel the urge to rip them off like I do with finger rubber bands or other deterrents
2. Touchscreen compatible - no need to take them off to use your phone
3. The urge just... pauses - when they're on, the struggle basically goes quiet for as long as I'm wearing them

Downside: they're not exactly socially acceptable, so I don't wear them out in public or at social events.

I mainly use them when driving, working from home, watching TV, or before bed. Not an all-day solution, but for those specific windows, they really work.

I've recommended them to quite a few people here, and I know they're not for everyone - some people just don't like the feeling of wearing gloves. But at that price, I think they're worth trying.

Driving used to be one of my hardest moments of the day. When I started tracking my habit with the app I built (called SoloUno), it became really clear that driving was my biggest trigger. The gloves changed that completely.

Worth a shot!

One tip: most of these gloves run in kids' sizes and didn't fit me at first. Double-check the sizing before you buy, or you'll end up with something too small.

Hey everyone! Long-time puller here..

I built the app I wished existed. It's called SoloUno, it's inspired by principles from HRT, CBT and ACT, and it's designed around small daily wins. People use it for hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting and other BFRBs.

Main features:

- Daily habit challenges (stay habit-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
- Quick logging → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
- Habit-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
- One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
- Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
- Companion animals that level up as you practice
- Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

The app is subscription-based, but it comes with a 2-week free trial so you can properly test whether it works for you before paying anything

Would really love to hear what you think about the app! ❤️

Links :)
Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively

Hey everyone! Long-time puller here.

I built the app I wished existed. It's called SoloUno, it's inspired by principles from HRT, CBT and ACT, and it's designed around small daily wins. People use it for hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting and other BFRBs.

Main features:

- Daily habit challenges (stay pull-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
- Quick logging of pulls → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
- Pull-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
- One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
- Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
- Companion animals that level up as you practice
- Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

Would really love to hear what you think about the app!

Links :)
Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively

Hey everyone! Long-time puller here.

Quick backstory: I used to smoke, and one day I decided to stop - and it worked. It wasn’t easy - but eventually I did quit. Years smoke-free now. So when I decided to stop pulling, I was super confident in my willpower.

I downloaded a rehab-style app, started counting pull-free days, and reset the timer every time I pulled. Within a couple of days I was only opening the app when I failed (to stop the timer). That's when I decided to try building an app that wouldn't make me feel like a failure every day but rather celebrate the small victories with me (as I was improving, but not getting totally pull free).

So I built the app I wished existed. It's called SoloUno, it's inspired by principles from HRT, CBT and ACT, and it's designed around small daily wins instead of one punishing counter. People use it for hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting and other BFRBs.

Main features:

- Daily habit challenges (stay pull-free for 1 hour, 3 hours, or until evening)
- Quick logging of pulls → insights into your top triggers, emotions and situations
- Pull-free streaks that encourage you but don't judge you when they end (my streaks tend to be short)
- One-minute urge acceptance exercise for when the urge hits hard
- Daily evening check-in to see your trend over time
- Companion animals that level up as you practice
- Daily push reminders to practice

It can be used as a self-help tool and also alongside therapy, for the "homework" part of HRT/CBT.

Would really love to hear what you think about the app!

Links :)
Website: https://www.solouno.io/

iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/solouno-habit/id6472174465
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ktzSihapYQXY.natively