Hello everyone! I am curious is anyone knows of a salon/stylist in the New England area that specializes or is empathetic to persons with trich, please. I have not been to a salon in about 18 years due to shame. Haven’t had my hair cut in close to six years and I just would like to find a place anywhere in New England, New York, or even Pennsylvania (willing to drive!). Thanks in advance!! 🫶🏼
I've been plucking my brows for about a year now and lashes for the past 3 months. I feel like some certainty will help me stop pulling, because I feel like I pull because I have no hopes left. Every time I ask AI, it says the only way to find out is to completely stop, but I want an honest answer. Will they really grow back to their original length and density? I feel so bad about myself when I see people brag about what I had naturally. My brows and lashes were beautiful. I don't know how I developed trich. Just how? It started when I was 16, now I'm almost 18. My confidence is so low nowadays. I barely have a few growing brow follicles and absolutely nothing on my lash line (upper lid), because I recently ripped them out. Please, be very honest.
I think mine is from around the 3rd grade, my mom walked in on me counting a handful of eyelashes in my room. I’m 27 now and still struggle with it, though now I combat at it with head picking which I’m not sure if that’s any better.
I can’t pick my eyebrows much anymore because I went through chemotherapy and one uncontrolled plucking sesh lead to me having no eyebrows anymore. They’re just barely starting to grow back, it’s my biggest struggle for sure these days. My triggers are usually when I have a headache or if I’m wearing sunscreen.
I wish I could hug all of you in this community, it’s nice knowing that we are in this together.
I have struggled with trich for over 2 years now, but the only visible indication is the strand of short hair on the top of my head. It isn’t too noticeable as long as it’s brushed down and isn’t in the way of any haircuts or layers I would do as it’s only a few inches long. I’ve had it for about a year now and at the start I was quite worried about going to the hairdressers as I was scared they might point it out, embarrass me or I would feel like I need to make up a random excuse to not feel judged. Although I have found the hairdressers have never mentioned it- either they haven’t noticed or have just decided it is not something they should ask.
Yesterday I went to a new hairdressers. I was still a bit nervous but I was sure it would all be fine like the other times. When I sat down and explained what j wanted to be done, the hairdresser started playing with my hair, and came across the patch of short hair in my head. It does blend in very well, just not when you kinda lift it up and see the length. She started laughing, and very loudly said something like “oh what’s happened here!?”. I was about to make up an excuse because I immediately felt a bit judged but she moved on from it when I gave an awkward laugh to pretend it wasn’t very serious. Later, I assumed maybe she had figured to leave it alone because she’s already addressed it and it’s a personal thing. But again, towards the end she saw it again and gently pulled it a bit and started laughing quite loud. She asked if maybe I had got it stuck in a brush or something and I quickly made an excuse along the lines of what she said.
I’m not necessarily angry at this lady, but I was just kinda surprised because I thought hairdressers would be more aware of Trichotillomania. It could also be a result of hair loss from alopecia which is definitely not something to laugh at. I know I never explained the real reason to her, but I just expected more people in the hair industry to know about trich.
First pic is the right side of my head second is the left and third is the top, my hair used to be so beautiful, just a couple months ago it wasn’t this bad it was just small bald spots here and there. I’m so depressed I don’t do anything anymore I don’t get ready for the day I just wake up and start crying and I don’t get up for anything. I need help
Wanted to share an update on the app!
I posted here last time 2 months ago, got a lot of great feedback, and wanted to share what is new since then :)
Backstory: Around a year ago I built a simple web app for a friend who is dealing with skin picking, and shared it on Reddit. Someone mentioned they were using it for pulling, and now the app fully supports pulling and adjusts.
The app is called SkinAware and it is available on iOS, Android and web!
If you have not heard about it before, its main features are:
New since my previous update:
SkinAware has a free version, with some additional features included in Premium.
I'd love to hear what you think of the update! If you have any recommendations on how to make the app more useful, please let me know :)
Links:
iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/skinaware-stop-skin-picking/id6754027225
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.aurelius5.SkinAware
Website: https://www.skinawareapp.com/
Thanks so so much!
/ Linus
i’ve never posted on reddit before but here we go. i’m panicking because i’m realizing just how bad my bald spots have gotten and i don’t know what to do or how to hide them. i just oiled my hair so ignore how oily it is but that’s just how i realized how bad it is. any hair makeup i could try? is there anything i can do?
thankful for the ability to pay for nails. these help so much
At first it could've jus passed as a poorly done eyebrow slit, but now... well it's just UGH I do so well for months then it starts with a single eyelash feeling 'sore' and boom my outer lashes gone, then it transitions to the other eye and wow!! Both of them are missing their outer lashes, not even sure how I got the 'sore follicle' feeling in my eyebrow, it usually only happens because I yank on my eyelashes trying to get off eyelash glue and then the feel well 'sore' but my eyebrow?!? Come on!!
Literally the thing that structures the whole
FREAKING FACE!!! I can always cover up the eyelashes with a falsie or eyeline the missing part and of course I could use eyebrow makeup but I feel it's way more noticeable than anything that I do to cover up my eyelash picking IM JUST SO MAD everytime I relapse it stays confined to my eyelashes where hardly anyone notices but now it literally the most defining part of my face. Just wanted to say my frustrations and get out thank u
A lot times when I've pulled at my hair I think I may have been unaware that I was doing it. I don't know if I can ever completely stop if it happens without me noticing it.
Has anyone found a way to notice every time pulling occurred?
I’ve been pulling hair for about 10 years or so, I haven’t really made a serious effort to quit and I think it’s time. Here’s to day 1! Going to try to cold turkey it. If you have tips please send them my way! I would love to hear what’s helped you.
A childhood friend asked me: “Why don’t you just stop?” (regarding my hair pulling)
The question assumes that this is mainly a matter of free will.
That if I really wanted to stop, I would be able to. And therefore, the fact that I haven’t stopped yet somehow means that I’m weak.
I think that’s one of the reasons this question can be so frustrating for people dealing with BFRBs.
While working on SoloUno, I’ve talked to over 100 people dealing with BFRBs, and I’ve seen how triggering this question can be when it comes from family members, friends, or spouses.
I want to explain why, in my opinion, this is the wrong way to think about it - and why people dealing with BFRBs shouldn’t think of themselves as weak.
I used to smoke cigarettes, and I quit several years ago.
I was able to stop.
That experience made me believe strongly in my willpower and my ability to change unwanted behaviors when I really decide to.
But my experience with hair pulling has been very different.
I’ll try to explain, from my own experience, why I think these are very different situations.
You can’t take out a cigarette, light it, start smoking, and then suddenly notice that you’ve been smoking for the past five minutes.
Smoking is something you do while being aware that you’re doing it.
With BFRBs, that’s not always the case.
My hand tends to go automatically to my beard and start playing with it. It happens while I’m working, when I’m stressed, bored, or simply focused on something else.
My hand goes there without me deciding to put it there.
Sometimes I just suddenly notice it in my beard.
And from there, pulling can start - sometimes without me being fully aware of it.
So the first difference is that it’s much easier to slip into the behavior, which makes it much harder to “just stop.”
Let’s say I notice my hand moving around my beard. Now what?
I have to consciously take it away.
That part isn’t automatic. It requires attention.
Which means the struggle between me and my hand isn’t really an equal fight.
My hand can go to my beard automatically, but taking it away requires a conscious decision.
Who do you think wins that battle over the course of an entire day?
If my hand automatically moves toward my beard 50 times a day, how many of those 50 times will I notice it and actively make myself move it away?
In this kind of battle, the automatic behavior can beat willpower many times - even when motivation is very high.
These two things alone, in my opinion, are major obstacles to “just stopping”:
That already puts willpower at a disadvantage.
We have a lot going on in our daily lives - work, family, stress, responsibilities, everything else.
We can’t spend the entire day actively fighting a habit every single time it appears.
I’m not saying this to be discouraging.
I don’t think we should give up.
I think we should look at it differently: as something we can improve over time, but something that may require practice, training, and repeated effort.
Maybe “just stopping” works for some people, and of course it’s worth trying. But when it doesn’t work, I don’t think that means you failed.
I’m saying this because telling someone to “just stop” misses what actually makes these behaviors difficult.
Well-known approaches such as Habit Reversal Training include exercises designed to increase awareness and help people reduce these behaviors, and I think they’re worth trying.
That’s also why I built SoloUno - to help people dealing with BFRBs channel their attention and effort into dealing with these habits more effectively, one day at a time.
And if you’re dealing with a BFRB, I don’t think you should see yourself as weak.
The fact that our habit keeps happening in our day-to-day life doesn’t mean we lack willpower. It’s simply part of what makes these behaviors so difficult to change.
And I think that means we should start with some empathy toward ourselves.
We’re not doing it because we’re weak. We’re dealing with a behavior that can be automatic, repetitive, and difficult to control.
So we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves.
For me, the balance I’ve found is to put effort into training and improving when I have the motivation and attention for it - and to have some compassion for myself when I don’t.
That doesn’t mean giving up.
It means accepting that this is something I’m working on over the long run, without making myself feel ashamed every single day because the unwanted behavior is still there.
At least for me, that change in perspective has helped.
I literally cannot comprehend how proud of myself I am! This genuinely feels like it might be final and I know some people reading this might feel bad cause relapses r expected but idk this just feels crazy to me.
So background, I don't particularly have a addictive personality, but trich has always been one thing I cant give up.
During covid, I vividly remember the minute it started, tugging eyelashes to see if they're loose, then inspecting them in the mirror... and my lash line is uneven (obviously!) But as the little perfectionist i was i had to straighten them out, combined with ocd it became a focus I couldn't stop. I was around 11 at the time.
It became severe around my first year of secondary school (middle school equivalent) and I eventually had to start wearing fake eyelashes due to styes etc. Heartbreaking, I just wanted to be normal.
Then. During my 4th year (start of high-school I think) i had a pain in my head, and pulled the hair near it. It went away, causing a immediate connection that pulling relieves head pain. Obviously it doesn't, I should have scratched but this was preinstalled from my eyelashes. I even remember turning to my friend "i should NOT make this a habit" she looked concerned and agreed.
Anyway. Guess who made it a habit.
Honestly, I just presumed it would go away, that I wouldn't every do enough damage to notice. Everyone thinks that until they suddenly have massive bald patches, just like myself. During my 5th year it got so bad I eventually lost all love for not just my hair but my face and body just with how my hair suddenly no longer framed my silhouette and face (thick hair) anyone who thinks it only affects the hair is a liar, trich genuinely will affect parts of your damn soul.
I tried to quit so many times but couldn't, nothing worked, this is a year of hair pulling now. The final day of school before summer, I simply decided I wouldn't, I got on NAC the same day (I know it takes months to help with urges but the placebo genuinely helped so much)
It's been 80 days now, and honestly it wasn't the biggest struggle, ofcourse I had my moments where hair was in my hand, so easy to pull, but I had to pry my hand away even if it felt like pulling two damn magnets from eachother.
Genuinely, the two worst things was the pain and the pity. Since I couldn't pull when hair started to regrow it HURT and I had to teach myself to associate scratching with relief, and the pity if from all the people who saw my bald head and thought it wouldn't happen. 3 weeks without pulling, nobody believed, 4, 5, .... it wasn't until I got visible progress that everyone trusted my word.
So yeah, pure yap. But honestly I haven't told anyone it's 80 days yet, so I wanted to tell the strangers of reddit who actually understand. It's not that my family doesnt care, I just constantly feel like the "i threw up" kid when I came with this news nobody knows how to celebrate. So yeah. Long post few will read, hopefully those who do will feel inspired. Happy to support or celebrate anyone else's milestones/losses under this!!
My stylist was so sweet and understanding! She already knew what trich was when I was telling her about why my hair is thin and different lengths.
Had my hair cut today and walking through town before heading home I noticed something. I am no longer worried about people noticing the differences in length. The hairdresser was able to blend it so you’d never know. She also said my hair is healthy too. It was the hardest but most important haircut of my life. The regrowth was hidden under my massive mop. But now it’s part of my hair again
long nail extensions- you can't grip onto individual hairs if your nails are long enough- and they look great. if you think your pulling has increased, go to the nail salon. (if i did this all the time i believe i'd never pull at all but i can't do it all the time because im a bisexual guitarist)
get rid of the tweezers - sometimes i'd just buy new ones. but when i realise howmuch i am plucking and the guilt sets in, i break them and throw them away. don't just hide them. throw them away.
wash your hair more than you need to- hair feels less yummy and scabs don't turn scabby
hair regrowth serum- when you hand goes up to your scalp, feeling the serum on it reminds you that it is regrowing - don't really wanna disturb that. (similar to how you don't touch your face after skincare/makeup)
mentally preparing myself before stressful times- eg- if you have an important deadline, acknowledge that you might pull more during that week- helped me
being around people/ in public- study/work at cafes instead of at home, watching movies in the living room (i live with flatmates) instead of watching in my room. - this was less effective that the rest cuz you will still wanna do stuff in your own space at some point.
add to this list!
Hello i have had trich for a long time and have pulled on most spots of my body and on my head but one of the places that I pulled most is my pubic region and now I seem to be suffering from scars and purple colored bumps down there, i really want to know if there is a way to get rid of them,
Your help and advice would really be appreciated.
Since high school I’ve had issues with touching my hair too much, especially when I’m nervous. I have curls but they’re always a mess because I’m always messing with them. In the past maybe 5 or so years this has escalated to me brushing my hands through my hair when I’m nervous, which pulls out/breaks the hair. A couple months ago i lost my job (please don’t judge me) and have been doing it a lot more. I wake up to piles of hair next to me and I can spend a really long time sitting and disassociating while brushing my hair with my fingers. The hair on a spot on the back of my head is extremely short and damaged and is only getting shorter. My question is, does this count as trichotillomania? I really wish I could stop and I’m hoping to get a haircut soon to make it less obvious but it’s so short I don’t know what haircut I could even get at this point.