u/Murky_Captain653

I’m currently SHS and the plans I have is to become a doctor in the future. Pero idk if gusto ko maging doctor dahil gusto ko or dahil gusto ng mom ko.

So my mom is a doctor, and buong buhay ko I’ve been exposed to the medical world. And me and my siblings all said na we would pursue med sa future. Well ngayon na college na siblings ko nagbago na isip nila and no longer want to take med. So that leaves me with the pressure na maging doctor or dissapoint my mom. Lagi niya kasi sinasabi sakin “gusto mo ba mag doctor?” “Mag nursing ka nalang” parang guilt trip moves ba hahahaha kasi di na magdodoctor siblings ko. Growing up din sinasabihan ako ng ibang doctors na “magdodoctor ka?” “Magiging sainyo din tong hospital na tinayo namin” so dagdag pressure sakin.

The thing is, I dont see myself doing another job other than maging doctor talaga. But my problem is, SOBRANG HINA KO SA SCIENCE. Like I’m super duper duper weak sa Science and ik med school is all about science. I’m not passionate about other jobs din eh so doctor nalang talaga.

Btw I’m a incoming GAS-HA sa ust and pasang awa pa ako sa science portion ng USTET pero thank God nakapasa pa ako.

Idk if I want to become a doctor dahil gusto ko or dahil gusto ni mommy 🥲

How did you guys know na med school was for you and why did you pursue it?

Sooo kasi dream school ko talaga yung isang big 4 uni (btw I’m SHS palang) and I got rejected. So I tried to appeal and they said masyado daw madaming appeals (madaming waitlist sa batch namin and rejected) and they cant accommodate everyone. So okay slowly trying to move on pero I found out through reddit that some people who appealed twice got in daw. Some are even mga rejected talaga nung una tapos natanggap when they re-appealed. So I tried to appeal my appeal, ending wala pa din talaga. They said sa pinaka recent email nila (june 30) na wala na daw talagang slots sa shs nila pero I keep finding out may mga ilan ilan na natatanggap right after they sent me a rejection letter. I have a friend who got rejected as well when she appealed twice and today she got in biglaan.

The thing is, hindi ko kaya basta basta bitawan dream school ko knowing nagbibigay pa sila ng slots sa ibang applicants tapos sasabihin nila sakin wala na silang slots.

I’ve been dreaming about this particular big 4 uni for my shs journey and gustong gusto ko talaga dun. I even memorized their hymn eh. Every prayer and 11:11 is all about my dream school. I’m enrolled to another big 4 uni na for shs pero my parents and I are willing to back out just to move to my dream school.

Should I give up my dream? Or ipaglaban ko?

Kinda find it unfair kasi sasabihin nila sakin wala nang slots tapos bigla sila magbibigay ng slot sa ibang applicant. 😞

I know that hindi lahat ng gusto natin in life ay makukuha natin pero it hurts me lang. Tagal ko plinano yung life ko na nagaaral dun sa isang specific na big 4 university tapos susuotin ko yung id lace nila. I even memorized their school hymn kasi gusto ko talaga sa big 4 uni na yun. I’ve been dreaming and praying na makapasa ako, pero ganun talaga.

I’m enrolled to another big 4 uni na pero it hurts me lang na ibang iba sya sa university life na plinano ko.

Btw I appealed twice pero wala talaga eh. I keep seeing some na rejected and waitlisted tapos nakakapasok sila even if the school announced na wala nang slots. I even see some people na nag appeal later than me pero nakapasok sila.

Oh well, ganun talaga ang buhay, we dont get everything we want. I hope as time passes by magheheal ako from this. :((

Btw I’m SHS palang po. I really need words of encouragement.

Which one is better for SHS?

I just want to rant. I’m HS palang po so this isnt work related.

Alam nyo yung madami kang friends pero wala kang close friend? Ganun ako eh.

I have all these friends na ang saya saya ko kapag kasama ko sila pero kapag pagdating sa chat walang magchachat sakin first kung di ako magchat sakanila muna.

I want to be someone na people can call their “bestfriend” pero wala eh.

If I’m with a group of friends, parang ang daldal namin lahat pero kapag naiwan na ako with just one friend ang awkward na namin.

So kasi kakagraduate ko lang kasi from JHS and I have this one friend na medjo nagkaka off feeling ako.

I can feel na may secret animosity siya sakin and idk why. May mga times na halatang napipikon na siya sakin. May times din na kapag sasali ako sa usapan or di ko nagets yung pinaguusapan tapos kapag tatanungin ko siya eh sasabihin niya sakin “wala”. Theres so many moments na nafefeel ko na nadidisrespect na ako by her pero di ko nalang inaano. Before our school year ended may sinasabi sabi siya na may sasabihin daw siya sakin and she keeps saying sa chat nya nalang daw sasabihin pero never nya tinutuloy. Kapag ibribring up ko irl she will js brush it off. For me kasi, its not my responsibility kung sasabihin nya ba sakin or hindi eh, pero sana makonsensya sya.

There was even a time nga na I confronted her kasi may nagsabi sakin na binabackstab nya daw ako with another girl (btw this other girl binabackstab nya din) she didnt even acknowledge yung pag confront ko, she asked me to delete her video (nagfilm kami for school).

Shes a ghoster din pala. There are moments kapag di naseen kaagad yung message nya eh iuunsend nya. Kapag rineplayan ko note nya sa instagram, di niya ako rereplayan. Yk I just feel so disrespected in many ways. Kasi I consider this girl to be one of my closest friends.

I have so much respect for her kasi matalino siya, maganda, etc pero I just feel disrespected by her in so many ways sa mga actions nya. I never backstabbed her or spread rumors or bad things about her nga eh. I know something nga din about her families financial struggle kasi nangungutang yung parents nya sa parents ko. And never ko yun pinagkalat, kasi thats how much I respect her. Even if halos kulitin at maging uncomfy na ako ng magulang nya sa chats never ko yun pinagkalat.

I just wish to have a close friend. Ngayon na summer, I dont even talk to anyone. I just need a friend na nagegets ako and respects me in a way na di nya yun pinaparamdam sakin.