u/MutedPresentation298

7 months. Communication issues. Hidden substance usage that became a problem. Blurred lines. Closed inner world. Moments shared fell. Countless talks, discussion. Over explaining. Over leveraging and compensating.

She only understands in the moment. After? Like it was never an issue.

Now she’s trying to change things. I remember what I went through and sat through, to now a see a change because I keep trying to walk away.

How do I learn to appreciate the change? How do I feel authenticity behind it again? It feels fake. It feels forced and I’m cold and honestly, i don’t want it. Is there a way back out of this or is this altered for good? How do I reframe this mindset of being checked out? Is there any hope when it hits this deep?

I just put 35’s on this thing, and the urge to level it is killing me. I don’t want to lift it fully. I see a 1.5” from wescott, there’s a 2” from another company (all spring perch lifts, not top mount spacer lift).

I’m conflicted because 1.5” looks like it’ll make a huge difference but not truly level. 2” may be perfect.

I ask because the wescott lift kit does 2.5” front and .75” rear. That would be a 1.75” front overall and it looks really even on the trucks I see.

Me (38m) her (45f) How do we feel about a partner using substances, 3 months of our connection was during her time where she drank, excessively, and it was excuse after excuse, then she stopped, broke sobriety and hid it, now she smokes weed and gets high everyday and it caused communication problems, forgetting things, can’t be present for talks, and I’m not one to build emotional connections while in altered states consistently. She’s already on so many mood meds too.

She also has impulse control issues when in an altered state which also crossed lines, including lying and cheating.

I’ve expressed I’m ok with her and there, but everyday is excessive to me and it affects the space. I want a reality.

We met, and she hit her weed pen every hour we were together. I don’t know what to feel. The communication things are the hardest part of it. She can’t function and show up appropriately which is the core issue. How do you all feel about this sort of dynamic? I can’t fathom coming home to someone high all the time when we close the gap. IF. She also has a 5 year old son. This just all feels… wrong. We’re still working past her sleeping with her ex. And lying about it. And letting me meet her without KNOWING.

Edit: she’s had a dui, and just had a fender bender recently. For being in such state.