u/MyEgoDiesAtTheEnd

I wanted to share my thoughts and emotions after seeing Tori Amos in Berlin last week (I’ve waited a few days to sit on my thoughts and process).

I’ve seen Tori 3 times now - 1997 in Philly, 2012 in San Francisco, and now 2026 in Berlin. Obviously, these are huge gaps and so I’ve seen Tori at very different times in her life/career as well as mine.

Her first 3 albums in particular made a monumental impact on me - her throaty yet stunning mezzo-soprano voice singing Truths about religion, sex, love, and loss with lyrics that were somehow both whimsical and shocking. There are so many of her melodies and lyrics and references etched on my soul. When I hear the early recordings now, I still get chills… past emotions roll over me in a way that’s, quite frankly, difficult to handle. I suppose this is why I don’t listen to her old music as much as I used to - the flashbacks to my youth are sometimes difficult to handle. And yet, her songs’ ability to affect me at any moment is undeniable.

Needless to say, the 1997 show was the ultimate Tori experience. I understand that it can’t be replicated.

By 2012, Tori’s music had evolved in a way that I didn’t resonate with as much. I loved early Tori for the rawness in which she eviscerated her soul with nothing but her voice and her piano. Over the years, her style had moved to more instrumentation; less focus on the piano. I believe you can say she also became more mature and, quite frankly, happier (married and with a child); and her music reflected that. It was no longer “edgy” and full of angst. The 2012 show was good, but I didn’t connect with her more recent albums. Still, when Tori reached back to her early tracks, a primordial response was triggered and my heart wept once more.

Fast forward to 2026… when I saw that Tori was coming to Berlin (“how had I missed her previous tours for so long?”, I wondered), I had to jump on a ticket. I even splurged to get a good seat - 4th row, center.

I then started to research Tori… “Has she gone back to her old style or did her music evolve again?” “What are her performances like these days?” … and I started to read and hear about how her voice had changed. Some people claim to like the changes, but I started to get worried that something has been lost.

So.. the actual show! I started to get concerned when she spoke to the audience after the opening song in a voice that sounded both hoarse and weak. She also had 3 background singers to compliment her on the lead vocals. I think it was very notable that she never spoke to the crowd again - there was no banter, no setup, nothing. While I don’t recall Tori ever being a talker at her concerts, it seemed that she was not speaking for a reason. Whether to save her voice or hide it, I can’t say.

For the entirety of the concert, her voice was mostly masked by the background singers and some heavy processing of her microphone. Every once in a while her voice would stand out, lower and raspier than before, but still effective (I would get excited in anticipation…), but then it would quickly be drowned out again by the background singers. It was clear that she was either unwilling or unable to let her voice take the lead on any of her songs.

She did play quite a few of her old songs in the second half - but try as I may, the songs sounded so different to me, they might as well have been covers sung by another singer. My heart did not flutter.

It appeared that very few were bothered by the changes to her voice - maybe they knew what they were getting. But it did feel more like a nostalgia performance - a reminder of what once was but no longer is.

The crowd loved the show! Looking at all the grey hairs in the audience (the average age must have been over 50), most of the audience would have fallen in love with Tori in her younger years, but they still treasured her. You could FEEL the love and adoration. And she gave it back. That was beautiful to see. And it was wonderful to see Tori’s fingers still dancing expertly and feverishly across multiple keyboards, legs splayed unabashedly over the side of the piano bench, occasionally whipping sultry glances to the crowd - some things never change!

After the concert, I had many emotions. Disappointment for sure. But as time passed, I realized that this wasn’t the right word. It was Sadness that I felt. Not the sadness I would normally get from Tori's haunting/tragic/beautiful songs, but Sadness for something that was lost and will never be regained. A reminder that time is passing quickly for us all. I suddenly felt old; and how so many things that I grew up with and cherished, seemingly not that long ago, are quickly vanishing.

I’ve been sitting with this melancholy for a few days now. Rather than trying to push the feeling away, I have enveloped myself. I’ve been playing all of Tori's albums, in order, one by one. Tori didn’t give me the emotion I wanted… but maybe she gave me the emotion I needed.

>'Cause things are gonna change so fast /
All the white horses have gone ahead /
I tell you that I'll always want you near /
You say that things change my dear.

When I use Google Pay and my Amex card in Europe, the charge is in EUR but my Google Wallet is immediately converting to USD. All transaction amounts are in USD.

Interestingly, the USD amount does not match the actual charge on my AMEX statement as different Forex rates are being applied. So this is something done immediately by Google Wallet.

Also interesting is that this only happens for AMEX. My Chase cards all show the EUR charge, which is correct.

Has anyone experienced this as well? I can't find a setting anywhere. So I don't know why this would be happening. It's a bit annoying since the original charge in EUR is lost.

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I'll explain why this is bad. Let's say I try to charge 100 EUR. Sometimes the local POS system will Forex to USD at a bad exchange rate to scrape money off the top.

With Visa, I can detect this immediately because my Google wallet will show the price in USD which was incorrect. Because the charge was supposed to be in EUR.

But with Amex, Google wallet will show USD for all charges.

So unless I do the exchange rate in my head, I can't tell if the charge was made in EUR as requested or if they did an illegal Forex at the POS.

This is a very common scenario when traveling outside the US.

More about the Defamation changes at Google Maps. Along with WHY it's such a problem in Germany (and only Germany):

https://ppc.land/google-maps-now-shows-removed-review-counts-in-germany/