u/MyReignOfChaos

Specifically you fuckers. You know what you did. You did it intentionally, without any thoughts of how it would affect me. I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER. I AM. ME. You only cared about yourself, and that you have nooooooooo consequences. Well guess what buddy. Those consequences are REAL and they're about to happen.

Who the FUCK said you could read this post? You fucknuts all make me sick and because you assholes are reading this post, I'm fucking quitting.

See that Embark? You just lost another player, good job.

Had a thought when I saw someone post ideas on how to detect them and stuff by placing in fake bodies/dummy players only cheaters can see, but that won't work for long. What you gotta do is what MILES did.

For the youngling out there, your old grandpappy used to play an RTS game that we called: Brood War, for short. In it, we could play fun little games made using a map editor and a bunch of units from the game and make cool stuff like turret defenses (only the retards called them turrents), and cat n mouse games. Winter was always my favorite.

Oh, sorry, ol granddad was off yammerin about the good ol days again. Anyhoo, one of the game modes people would play most were "laser tag" style games. You would be out in the dark and need to shoot the enemy and steal their flag to get points. Cheaters would use map hacks to see the whole map even through fog of war. If you moved right, you could glitch the game and even shoot them through it! What a terrible time...

MILES was ahead of it's time. It turned all people friendly so you couldn't just auto shoot, or right click them, you had to manually press the attack command and then attack. What made this special wasn't all the bells and whistles, it was the ANTICHEAT.

MILES's anticheat used a special map editor that created custom doodads (yes, that's what they were called), that when they show up on your screen due to the vision, your game crashed! You'd be booted out of the game and with no way back in. It made it impossible to cheat, until the maphackers found a way to program against it. MILES would then update the map with a new crash doodad and the cycle would repeat until the death of Battle.net updating the game after 1.12.

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TL;DR- MILES was a laser tag game where using map hacks to give full vision of the map would actually crash the game. Players would be out of that match permanently.

By implementing this, at the bare minimum, the crash would then force them out of the game for a few minutes until they get back in and crash again, or are forced to play without cheats. This works until the cheat developers find a way around it, and Embark needs to update the method and refresh it.

Best case scenario, it detects cheats and bans them or stores the account for ban waves. Other ideas would to kick them from the match permanently and have them suffer the loss and wait until they time out in game from a death before they can "reconnect".

I've been here since day 1, lack of projects to work on kinda sucks, and them taking away events or even map conditions for them kinda sucks as well. Currently there's only Night Raid for Stella and Night Raids and Beachcombing for Riven Tides. Maybe they could remove Husk Graveyard and Prospecting Probes for a new Arc event/condition with more arc around as if they'd "found us" or something and are working on digging out our base (following the assessor event at least), which would then remove 2 worthless conditions, and allow them to add more to the rotation.

As for other things to do in the game, pvp has been killed for me with the cheaters. I have all the loot I could want, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let them have it. On the other hand of that ideology though, is that I'm now undergeared against them and have no chance. It's a lose-lose. I can make my own fun sniping places until it gets boring, but what's next for any kind of pvp fun? The pve is fun enough to shit around in especially in larger events, but that has it's own well to dry up and it's getting close due to the grind for the expedition vault.

Yeah, I know, wait until October. I hope they don't just bring a new map and a couple new items/arc with a mini-event. I'm hoping for something game-changing. A new mode of Team Deathmach, or whatever that Chinese thing is going on over there. A full on pve-only major raid against what people are calling the Emperor that can't be cheesed in 3 minutes and actually requires people to try. King of the hill with the snowballs (or even just fuckin snowball fights). There's so many ideas I can hope for, and we'll have to see.

I actually wanted to throw my switch a couple times because of it. I get having skill issues, not beating times in races, not dodging lasers, whatever. I can work past those. That is something you can grind and get better at and improve.

Big Battle is already heavily RNG, with the mission forcing a requirement of a small pill, which has like a 1/50 chance of spawning. Then, even in 1v1's, high cpu level or low, they go completely braindead when these pills are out and just beeline for them like hobos on a ham sandwich.

I'll set up an opponent to be close to death and either none will ever spawn, one will spawn and the drooling moron on a hover bike decides it's time for them to dose themselves up with the silly pills, or I will get it and then somehow never land an attack on them because they're actively avoiding me.

I've never been so mad at a Kirby game. I went through insane Road Trip and got my ass handed to me a bunch, but that was me needing to level up and learn how to do things better. I've played and 100% a buttload of other Kirby games without much issue. Getting max score in the minigames (not that it matters) and all that.

I know there's missions I need good RNG for, and I know there's some stupid stuff out there. This mission combines all the dumbest stuff and demands you get the hardest requirements ever all within a minute and a half, with the worst RNG, and the braindead AI with the intelligence of your 5 year old brother snorting the funny blue candy just as you get their health low or as you go for it yourself.

/mald

Since there's still new people coming into the game, I'm generally curious if people remember or what the newbies are saying, so I thought to ask.

For me, I did the obvious thing of the Rubber Duck. They made it seem so useful and valuable as an item during the trailer that I wanted to keep it safe.

Then I got robbed of my bandages. Fuckin rat 2v1 shitheads.

Side note: what happens during that scene if you have no bandages or used them as TP for your butt? Does the dialogue change?