Fiance (M29) pulled my (F31) hair to wake me up. A big deal or an acceptable mess up?
Background: My partner and I are occasional snorers. He is however a light sleeper and is disturbed by my snoring and I on the other hand am not usually bothered by it. I have tried various thing (sprays, nostri expanding things) to stop this issue. Since the incident I would like some opions on, I have realised that my snoring is bad when drinking or sick so have manged to control it.
So some months ago, my partner woke me up to say that I was snoting, i apologied and changed postions. A few minutes later, i felt him pull my hair, not super hard, but enough to hurt a little. I hadnt fallen back asleep fully yet so there is no way I mistook it. When i called him out on it, he first denied it. Then admitted he did it to wake me up cause i was disturbing his sleep. He went into a shame spiral apologising over and over, i do think he felt bad. I was scared at the time but have since processed it. One of my deep fears is ending up with someone and then later down road realsing that they are abusive when we have a marraige and kids.
We have judt started wedding planning and sometimes my brain brings up this incident. We have been together since we were 22 and 24 and this is my only serious relationship, so sometimes i dont know what an acceptable level of messing up is. I know he would never physically hurt but this incident had made me feel like he probably doesnt respect me as muvh as i do him. I kind of dont know weather this was a big deal or not. Would appriciate your options and any advice.