u/Narrow_Register4439

My husband (40) and me (30) have been together 10 years. We’ve had ups & downs over the years as we’ve had 2 young kids and financial struggles but I’ve always considered our marriage mostly happy and we communicate ok. Sex has always been a bit of an area of tension, we have good sex & feel connected but he would like it much more. We are usually once or twice a week but he starts to get really sexually frustrated after a few days and will start pestering me or groping me when the kids aren’t looking. He will pester me when we go to bed and try to ‘change my mind’ after I’ve said no , or he will take me hand and move it to him and try to get me to start sexual things. Other times i will wake up in the night and he is touching me or mast*****g on top of me saying he ‘can’t sleep’ as he’s so frustrated. He knows I don’t like it, I’ve told me so many times. I know it’s not great but I understand he has a high drive, I have accepted this as a part of him over the years.

However, 4 months ago this escalated. I was 3 months pregnant and was not been feeling like it. It had been about 2 weeks with no sex from memory. He tried it on in bed and I declined and turned my back to him. I was drifting off to sleep and he forced himself on me. I froze and cried, although quietly, until he finished. He then rolled over and went to sleep. In the morning her apologised and said he had hit rock bottom and if he promised to get therapy and it would never happen again could I forgive him. I said yes and I’ve tried to move forward.

I love him. We’re about to have another baby. He’s a great father. He’s been near perfect since this incident. But I can’t forget it. I am so anxious all the time, I’m having nightmares , struggling to enjoy intimacy and sometimes I look at him and want to cry my eyes out - how could you do that?!? I really feel like I’m breaking down mentally but pretending happy families.

Please help . What can I do ?

My husband (40) and me (30) have been together 10 years. We’ve had ups & downs over the years as we’ve had 2 young kids and financial struggles but I’ve always considered our marriage mostly happy and we communicate ok. Sex has always been a bit of an area of tension, we have good sex & feel connected but he would like it much more. We are usually once or twice a week but he starts to get really sexually frustrated after a few days and will start pestering me or groping me when the kids aren’t looking. He will pester me when we go to bed and try to ‘change my mind’ after I’ve said no , or he will take me hand and move it to him and try to get me to start sexual things. Other times i will wake up in the night and he is touching me or mast*****g on top of me saying he ‘can’t sleep’ as he’s so frustrated. He knows I don’t like it, I’ve told me so many times. I know it’s not great but I understand he has a high drive, I have accepted this as a part of him over the years.

However, 4 months ago this escalated. I was 3 months pregnant and was not been feeling like it. It had been about 2 weeks with no sex from memory. He tried it on in bed and I declined and turned my back to him. I was drifting off to sleep and he forced himself on me. I froze and cried, although quietly, until he finished. He then rolled over and went to sleep. In the morning her apologised and said he had hit rock bottom and if he promised to get therapy and it would never happen again could I forgive him. I said yes and I’ve tried to move forward.

I love him. We’re about to have another baby. He’s a great father. He’s been near perfect since this incident. But I can’t forget it. I am so anxious all the time, I’m having nightmares , struggling to enjoy intimacy and sometimes I look at him and want to cry my eyes out - how could you do that?!? I really feel like I’m breaking down mentally but pretending happy families.

Please help . What can I do ?

My husband (40) and me (30) have been together 10 years. We’ve had ups & downs over the years as we’ve had 2 young kids and financial struggles but I’ve always considered our marriage mostly happy and we communicate ok. Sex has always been a bit of an area of tension, we have good sex & feel connected but he would like it much more. We are usually once or twice a week but he starts to get really sexually frustrated after a few days and will start pestering me or groping me when the kids aren’t looking. He will pester me when we go to bed and try to ‘change my mind’ after I’ve said no , or he will take me hand and move it to him and try to get me to start sexual things. Other times i will wake up in the night and he is touching me or mast*****g on top of me saying he ‘can’t sleep’ as he’s so frustrated. He knows I don’t like it, I’ve told me so many times. I know it’s not great but I understand he has a high drive, I have accepted this as a part of him over the years.

However, 4 months ago this escalated. I was 3 months pregnant and was not been feeling like it. It had been about 2 weeks with no sex from memory. He tried it on in bed and I declined and turned my back to him. I was drifting off to sleep and he forced himself on me. I froze and cried, although quietly, until he finished. He then rolled over and went to sleep. In the morning her apologised and said he had hit rock bottom and if he promised to get therapy and it would never happen again could I forgive him. I said yes and I’ve tried to move forward.

I love him. We’re about to have another baby. He’s a great father. He’s been near perfect since this incident. But I can’t forget it. I am so anxious all the time, I’m having nightmares , struggling to enjoy intimacy and sometimes I look at him and want to cry my eyes out - how could you do that?!? I really feel like I’m breaking down mentally but pretending happy families.

Please help . What can I do ?