I usually do my work in time. But for this week I haven't done anything on time. And now I have so much in my plate. I want to quit everything.
I'm so tired. This is the end of my sophomore college year. Till this day I kept a good grade. I went college everyday, I was sincere to my work both study and other curriculum related to college. There was a 1 month of online classes. Which i attended. But from tomorrow my offline college reopens. I just don't wanna continue anymore. It's like If I'm not doing it effortlessly i should just quit. I am struggling yes. I don't want to go back to the place again where it reminds me that I am nothing if I am not doing good. Why do i always have to perform? Can't I just be me? I see my classmates becoming teachers fav even when they do mistake, even when they just exist. But me? I have to be the exceptional to get their attention? Every single time I have to prove that I also belong there. There is a prof who behaves so differently when there is other students, but when I'm alone he is a good person. I always have to be on edge for when his mood changes. I want to be that person too for whom they say "yeah I knew you will do good. You're a good student". Why do i always have to prove myself? And even if I do prove, noone says a thing. Please tell me I'm doing good too. I'm really tired. I just want to end this miserable life.
Starting with me: probably when my mom removed my clothes and threw me out of house when i was 10-11 y/o.