u/Natural_Field5871

Yesterday, I posted in this community asking for advice on how to improve my skin in my 40s. I included a selfie because I thought it would help people give more tailored recommendations.

I expected skincare advice. What I wasn’t expecting were comments criticising and judging my appearance. Whilst there were some genuinely helpful and kind replies, a surprising number were simply mean.

I was even accused of being AI… which, in fairness, I’ll choose to take as a compliment. 😂

To those who took the time to offer genuine advice, thank you. I really appreciated the suggestions about staying well hydrated, trying tanning drops rather than chasing the sun, paying more attention to what I put in my body, and focusing on healthy skin rather than perfect skin. I’ve taken a lot of those comments on board.

It’s easy to forget there’s a real person behind a photo. You never know what someone is carrying or what has prompted them to ask for help in the first place.

If someone asks for skincare advice, recommend a product, suggest a routine or share what’s worked for you. They haven’t asked to have their appearance picked apart.

Kindness costs nothing. Hopefully this is just a reminder that the way we speak to strangers online matters.
Lesson learned. ❤️

I’ve been through a fairly prolonged period of stress over the last 6-12 months and, whilst I’m coming out the other side, I feel like my body and skin have really taken the hit.

I’ve gained some weight, my face looks puffier and more tired, my under-eye area seems more hollow, and my skin just doesn’t have the same glow or resilience it used to. I feel like I’ve aged a few years in a short space of time.

I’m looking for both:
- Any relatively quick wins that can help me look and feel better in the short term.
- Longer-term changes that will genuinely improve health, recovery and ageing well.

For context, I’m a woman in my mid-40s. I’ve started drinking more water, I’m taking collagen, trying to prioritise sleep, and getting back into regular walking and time outdoors.

If you were starting from scratch after a stressful period, what would be your top interventions?

Interested in everything from nutrition, supplements and skincare through to exercise, hormone testing, bloodwork, recovery protocols, etc.

I’m less interested in extreme hacks and more interested in things that have made a noticeable difference to how you look, feel and age.

What gave you the biggest return on investment?

I’m a woman in my 40s working in tech and lately I’ve been struggling with a weird mix of burnout, restlessness and feeling slightly invisible professionally.

On paper, things are “fine”. I’ve built a solid career, I’m experienced, good at what I do, and I’ve survived years of high pressure environments, restructures, difficult personalities, constant change etc. But recently I’ve started wondering whether this industry quietly becomes harder for women as we get older.

There’s such a huge focus on younger talent, constant hustle culture, reinvention, AI panic, productivity, staying relevant etc, and honestly I’m exhausted by it. I feel like I’m expected to have the energy of someone 20 years younger while also carrying all the responsibility and emotional labour that tends to come with being a senior woman in the workplace.

I’ll also be honest and say I’ve had some pretty major instability in my personal life recently, including marriage issues that have completely knocked my confidence and sense of identity. I think that’s probably made me reassess *everything* - not just my relationship, but my career, priorities, stress levels and what I actually want the next 10–15 years of my life to look like.

I can’t tell if I’m genuinely falling out of love with tech, if I’m burnt out from years of being “on” all the time, or if I’m just emotionally exhausted and projecting that onto work.

Has anyone else gone through this stage mid-career?

• Did you pivot into something adjacent?
• Stay in tech but change environment?
• Move into leadership/consulting/fractional work?
• Take a pay cut for sanity?
• Completely start over?

I’d especially love to hear from other women who’ve navigated ageing in an industry that can sometimes feel obsessed with youth and speed.

I don’t want to make impulsive decisions during a difficult chapter of my life, but I also don’t want to ignore the possibility that something genuinely needs to change.