u/Necessary-Scarcity82

Just got in my Slogun shirt today and was wondering what are some shirts other people have that they like.

Also I will pay decent money for a Navicon Torture Technologies shirt in Large, just throwing that out there.

I've been doing a pretty obsessive Sutcliffe Jügend deep dive lately, and hearing Unashamed after working through so much of their catalog really hit differently. At this point, they've become one of my all-time favorite projects.

So far, I've listened to:

- Campaign

- We Spit on Their Graves — full version and abridged

- Crimes

- Death Mask

- When Pornography Is No Longer Enough

- The Victim as Beauty

- Threnody for the Victims of Ignorance

- This Is the Truth

- Japan Tour 2007

- The Fall of Nature

- Merzbow / Sutcliffe Jügend / Satori

- Pigdaddy

- With Extreme Prejudice

- Blue Rabbit

- Pursuit of Pleasure

- Sans Palatine Uvula

- The Muse

- Masks

- Offal

- S L A V E S

- Shame

- Nude and Full of Wounds

- The Hunger + bonus download card

- Relentless + bonus download card

- Transgression

- Woe Betide

- XI

- Seven Tortures

- Campaign 2024 by Sutcliffe No More

Tonight, I'm doing The Deluge, and then Slaves No More when I get there. After that, I should have covered basically every major Sutcliffe Jügend release, and I'm planning to move into Slaves No More – The Unravelling and then work through the rest of the renamed Sutcliffe No More material.

The rabbit hole has also spread way beyond Sutcliffe Jügend itself.

I've started digging heavily into Kevin Tomkins' solo work, including the Between Silences release with Paul Taylor, and then started obsessing over whatever I could find connected to the Between Silences label.

Pachinko Noise was a lot of fun, and especially his whole autoharp fixation.I listened to Music for an Unprepared Autoharp and got completely obsessed with Riding an Offal Swing. Somehow, that's now a track I occasionally fall asleep to.

I've also heard:

- Bodychoke – Mindshaft

Still need to hear their other two albums.

- Kevin Tomkins – Last Breaths of a Dying Building

- Melt – Inertia

- Inertia – Two Guitars

I want to keep going through whatever Tomkins solo material I can find, including the Patient K releases, which I haven't gotten to yet.

Paul Taylor's material seems considerably harder to track down, but I eventually want to get into his later solo work too, especially things like the Mind Fucked trilogy.

At this point I'm genuinely curious how many other people have gone this far into the Kevin Tomkins/Sutcliffe Jügend ecosystem, because I feel like I've gone from "I like Sutcliffe Jügend" to archaeological excavation.

I even had a Sutcliffe Jügend shirt custom made that I wear now.

Anyway, Unashamed is what prompted this post. After hearing so many different eras and configurations of the project, that track just sounds fucking incredible to me. It js aggressive and unmistakably SJ, but also like a version of the project that could only have existed that late in their career.

Anyone else gone this deep into Tomkins' solo work, Between Silences, Bodychoke, Patient K, etc.? And if so, what obscure stuff am I still missing?

I'm working on a sequence of literary nonfiction narratives in which the writing is not merely retrospective. The first piece documents real events, but the completed narrative then enters the world as an object: it is read or shown to the people depicted in it, their reactions alter subsequent real events, and the next narrative documents those consequences—including the previous text's role in causing them. That second narrative can then itself enter reality and affect what happens next, producing a potentially sustained recursive structure in which life generates the text, the text acts upon life, and the altered life generates the next text. I'm interested in whether anyone has deliberately constructed a long-form work around this specific mechanism, and in any useful terminology, theoretical precedents, or close analogues in life-writing, autofiction, documentary literature, performative writing, etc.

I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel now.

Obviously it matters. It was a horrible place, and what happened there mattered, to me, and to everyone else who passed through it. But knowing that doesn't reverse anything. A place can close its doors without closing whatever it opened inside the people who were sent there.

It affected the trajectory of my life in ways I don't think I'll ever be able to completely account for. Not like my life ended there. It didn't. Life kept happening, as it annoyingly tends to do. But sometimes I think of the years afterward as a path bending around an absence: friendships, relationships, school, failures, good memories, terrible ones, entire versions of myself growing around this strange piece of negative space.

Seven years later, I still find it there.

Sometimes consciously. Sometimes, I suspect, not consciously at all.

When I told my parents about the shutdown, they told me that I needed to have been there. That they still didn't regret sending me, even knowing what happened at that school. After years of trying, in whatever imperfect way I knew how, to reconcile my relationship with them, something in that conversation finally made the distance between us impossible to cross. I eventually cut them out of my life.

Then I dropped out of college. I moved states away. I ended up with people who have shown me more support than I knew how to expect from anyone for most of the past seven years.

And still, nothing really ends neatly.

Maybe that's the part I've had the hardest time accepting. There isn't necessarily some final emotional reckoning where the past arranges itself into a story, the guilty understand what they did, everybody apologizes correctly, and you walk away healed enough for the credits to roll.

Sometimes a terrible thing happened.

Then years happened.

Then more things happened.

And somehow you're still here.

So, fine. It is what it is—that incredibly annoying little phrase that somehow becomes more useful the older I get. Not because what happened was acceptable, or because injustice and cruelty and malpractice become meaningful simply because enough time passes, but because eventually you have to build meaning somewhere else.

Maybe that's in the people who choose to stay close to us. Maybe it's in finding new community when the one we were born into fails us. Maybe it's in hearing a perfectly made piece of music, reading a sentence somebody somehow managed to get exactly right, laughing until something hurts, loving people, making things, going somewhere new, or simply discovering that the world contains more than the people and institutions that once claimed authority over your life.

I was sent there, I was told, to "get help."

Seven years later, I don't have some clean moral to offer about any of it.

I'm alive. My life kept moving. It curved strangely. It broke in places. It grew around others. There are people I no longer speak to and people I hadn't even met yet who would eventually make the world feel more inhabitable.

Maybe that's all the conclusion I get.

Thanks for nothing, I guess.

And onward—toward whatever comes next, and then whatever comes after that, ad infinitum.

Announced in chat.

Moving to Ohio next week and am curious on if there is any noise stuff happening. I'm not familiar with the venues in the state. Closest big city next to me would be Cincinnati.

Hi all. For starters, I'm the guy who first listened to Geogaddi on LSD and posted about it the other day. That was my first Boards of Canada experience, and honestly, I wanted more.

So I work at a gas station, okay? And they let me play my own music. I play a lot of random stuff. Metal, indie, played some industrial for a bit, (when there wasn't anyone around), psychedelic rock, etc, but I haven't played much electronic music.

For the past 2 days I've gone through Boards of Canada's discography playing them at work. Their music emits from my speaker, which is a duck with a cowboy hat, who I have appropriately named Dave, because Tipper was the first song I played on Davd the duck speaker when I got it.

Yesterday I played The Campfire Headphase, then Music Has The Right To Children.

I enjoyed The Campfire Headphase, and found it pleasant during my shift.

Music Has The Right To Children I also enjoyed, but need a closer listen of it. I will have to listen to them all with headphones too.

Today, I started with Tomorrow's Harvest, then Boc Maxima.

Again, also enjoyed Tomorrow's Harvest, but need to listen to it with headphones.

But during the last maybe 10 or 20 minutes of Boc Maxima, and customer walked in and commented.

He said "how can you stand that noise?" I looked at him the same way I do all my customers, but kept on listening. "It's all so giggitygiggitygiggity and goes on and on. I look and say from this? And he's like "oh this is your music?" And I said "yeah, that's what's coming out of Dave the Duck Speaker".

He says "I must be getting old then" as he was walking out. I said the album was from the 90s. He says that was his time. Kinda shakes his head and walks off.

I felt confused after that, and after that switched to more pleasant listening, Autechre's Amber.

Which, also, I think, got weird reactions.

So lesson: maybe no IDM at work?

I switched to Obscured by Clouds by Pink Floyd after Autechre, then ended with Stay Forever by Ween because of course I'm also going through a break up right now.

Anyways, loved these journeys.

I heard the album was trippy and wanted to try it out but didn't realize it was that trippy.

I don't know what happened. After Music is Math or something i kind of got sucked in.

During one song I met an alien cyborg creature thing on my ceiling and felt like I was being dissected by aliens.

When the album ended I called my friend up in a basic stupor and told him this must be part of the experience. I don't know.

Had a hard time coming down after that not going to lie.

Always remember that. Remembering that now on my comedown. I love you all. Be kind to yourselves. We are all so fragile.