u/New-Engineer-5930

Salaam everyone.

First off, I want to say that I’m so happy we’re seeing PhDs, master’s degrees & people of elevated professional status looking for marriage, but… where are the regular working-class people at?

The bus drivers, warehouse workers, tradespeople, retail workers, technicians, blue-collar folks… people still building their careers?

Sometimes marriage spaces can make it feel like everyone is already highly established. Does anyone else ever feel intimidated by that? Do you think career/status matters too much in Muslim matchmaking, or is stability & good character enough?

Surely I’m not the only one out here working, studying, trying to improve & looking for marriage at the same time

Hey everyone,

I’m posting this from a genuine place of trying to understand a painful dynamic I’ve experienced constantly at work, and I’m looking for honest, constructive perspectives.

A bit of background on me: I was actually born here in the US, but I didn't grow up here, so I have a noticeable African accent. I work as a city bus driver. Because of strict company policy and basic road safety, I cannot let passengers off in the middle of traffic or at non-designated stops.

A few minutes ago of me posting this, a passenger missed their stop because they weren't paying attention and didn't pull the cord. When I explained that I couldn't drop them off in the middle of the street for safety reasons, they exploded on me with comments like:

“You’re African, right?”
"You come from the dirty part of Africa."
"Y'all are bootlickers for white people."
"Y'all don't like us anyway."
Called me a "slave" and told me I have no right to speak.

I wanted to genuinely ask him, “So is it my problem that you missed your stop?” But I kept that to myself to keep the situation from escalating.

This isn't an isolated incident in all my years in this line of work. Whenever I have to follow standard safety rules or say no to a favor, certain passengers (precisely African Americans) resort to xenophobic insults directed at my accent and background.

I’ve read up on African American history (in college while I was for my associates), the Civil Rights Movement, and the broader struggles in this country. I know systemic friction and media misrepresentation exist between African immigrants/diaspora and African Americans. But it’s demoralizing to take verbal abuse just for doing my job, following safety guidelines, and keeping myself out of trouble.

For those familiar with these diaspora tensions: where does this specific brand of xenophobia come from in these moments of frustration?
How can I better process or handle these situations without taking them personally?

I’ll appreciate any insights or shared experiences.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting this from a genuine place of trying to understand a painful dynamic I’ve experienced constantly at work, and I’m looking for honest, constructive perspectives.

A bit of background on me: I was actually born here in the US, but I didn't grow up here, so I have a noticeable African accent. I work as a city bus driver. Because of strict company policy and basic road safety, I cannot let passengers off in the middle of traffic or at non-designated stops.

A few minutes ago of me posting this, a passenger missed their stop because they weren't paying attention and didn't pull the cord. When I explained that I couldn't drop them off in the middle of the street for safety reasons, they exploded on me with comments like:

“You’re African, right?”
"You come from the dirty part of Africa."
"Y'all are bootlickers for white people."
"Y'all don't like us anyway."
Called me a "slave" and told me I have no right to speak.

I wanted to genuinely ask him, “So is it my problem that you missed your stop?” But I kept that to myself to keep the situation from escalating.

This isn't an isolated incident in all my years in this line of work. Whenever I have to follow standard safety rules or say no to a favor, certain passengers (precisely African Americans) resort to xenophobic insults directed at my accent and background.

I’ve read up on African American history (in college while I was for my associates), the Civil Rights Movement, and the broader struggles in this country. I know systemic friction and media misrepresentation exist between African immigrants/diaspora and African Americans. But it’s demoralizing to take verbal abuse just for doing my job, following safety guidelines, and keeping myself out of trouble.

For those familiar with these diaspora tensions: where does this specific brand of xenophobia come from in these moments of frustration?
How can I better process or handle these situations without taking them personally?

I’ll appreciate any insights or shared experiences.

Quoting WFAA:

According to the contract, Ford will receive:

• An annual base salary of $515,000.
• A $1,000 monthly executive allowance.
• An $80,000 relocation payment to cover the cost of moving from Jacksonville, Florida, to North Texas.
• Standard employee benefits, including health insurance, retirement contributions, paid time off and the use of a DART-issued laptop and cell phone.

The relocation payment comes with conditions. If Ford voluntarily leaves DART or is terminated for cause within the first two years of his employment, he must repay all or part of the relocation money. The repayment amount decreases over time, with the obligation ending after 24 months.

Read more: https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/local/new-dart-ceo-to-earn-515000-salary-relocation-package-under-newly-approved-contract/287-5c01bc25-f435-4f30-96cf-d24c4ddcd26a

I’ll sit this one out…

I applied for an apartment a few weeks ago. The landlord required me to send the security deposit ($1,475) and the first month's rent ($1,475) upfront. I filled out a basic application, but there was absolutely no written language stating any of this money was non-refundable if the deal fell through.

They emailed me a draft of the lease, but I decided not to sign it due to the high additional moving costs and personal issues. I never signed a single contract, never got keys, and never moved in.

When I asked for my money back, the agent completely stonewalled me. After a delay and text asking when I’d get refunded, they finally refunded the first month’s rent, but they are flat-out refusing to return the $1,475 deposit. First, the agent claimed we had a "verbal agreement" that it was non-refundable. Then, she tried to claim she was charging me a daily rate for the days the apartment was "off the market."

I got tired of the games and sent a firm text stating that if the full balance wasn't returned by Monday, I would "proceed with my plans to explore all other professional, administrative, and civil avenues."

The deadline passed and they ghosted me. Instead of a refund, the landlord's husband sent a long, angry email CC'ing a corporate attorney. They explicitly admitted in the email that **“there was no agreement in writing regarding this deposit," **but claimed that because I gave them a deadline and said I would "proceed with my plans," I was making criminal threats against his wife. They told me they would contact law enforcement if I reached out again.

I am completely ignoring their email and plan to file a formal licensing complaint with the state real estate commission and file a small claims lawsuit using their own email confession as evidence.

They are claiming I am an asshole for "threatening and harassing" a working woman over a business disagreement and involving an attorney. AITA for refusing to back down and escalating this to the state boards and court?