At the Ark…
Prime: “…Grapple. You. Here. Now.”
Hoist: “Why yes, but I’m Hoist-“
Prime: “Shut. It. This solar tower of yours. What did I tell you?”
Hoist: “Well Optimus, you said it was a brilliant concept!”
Prime: “…and?”
Hoist: “That, ah, the, ah, Decepticons would try to steal it.”
Prime: “Right. So what did you do?”
Hoist: “…built it anyway?”
Prime: “BUILT IT ANYWAY! But oh no, you couldn’t just do the whole ‘easier to ask forgiveness than permission’ thing Spike told me about, no, you built it with the fucking Constructicons help!!”
Hoist: “Well Optimus, to be fair, we had thought they defected! They brought us Energon cubes!”
Prime: silence.exe enabled
Hoist: silentlywaiting.exe
Prime: “And. At no point. Did it ever. Occur to you. That the group of Cybertronians that you were working with. Are aligned. With a faction. Called DECEPTICONS?!?”
Hoist: “Um, well, you see, Optimus…”
Prime: “No! No explanations! See, I’ve already punished Hoist-“
Hoist: “Grapple?”
Prime: “SHUT UP! As I was saying, he’s already being punished.”
Cut to Carbombya, Hoist Grapple removing bodies from a burn pit, sobbing uncontrollably.
Prime: “The question is…what do I do with you.”
Hoist: “…forgive and forget?”
Prime: Muscle under right eye begins twitching despite the lack of muscle
Hoist: “I throw myself on the mercy of the court?”
Prime: “You are damn lucky that Ratchet is on leave.”
Cut to Ratchet at a bikini car wash, cheering them on
Prime: “Because we still need a medic until he gets back. But while you’re on medic duty, I am giving you the worst, most humiliating task I can think of.”
Hoist: “gulp”
Cut to Hoist leading the Dinobots on leashes.
Grimlock: “ME GRIMLOCK LOVE WALKIES!!”