u/NiceUsername_Avail

My resident dog (4 years old, likely a poorly-bred BYB lab with missed developmental periods; we rescued her 3 years ago) is anxious, doesn't read or give normal dog social cues, and has never play bowed in her life. Lots of work has gotten her more confident, but she's just odd socially.

We're fostering-to-adopt a second dog, specifically chosen for being submissive and great at reading cues. He's wonderful, and we deliberately did slow intros (parallel walks, scent swaps, neutral meet-and-greets) before bringing him home. Indoors they're separated by a baby gate and coexisting peacefully.

Yesterday in our fenced yard, off-leash, my resident dog got the zoomies and started doing this weird "fake-out" movement she does instead of play bowing, clearly trying to invite play. They ended up chasing each other. When he mouthed her mid-chase, she barked and bared teeth at him. He backed off but looked confused, and she kept doing the fake-out thing while tucking her tail and skittering away like she still wanted to engage but couldn't handle it. We separated them at that point.

He wasn't being pushy. It really seems like she wants to play, gets overstimulated the second it becomes reciprocal/two-sided, and doesn't have the skills to communicate "too much" without snapping.

I don't want to build a negative association between them, and I don't want him getting corrected constantly for normal dog behavior, but I also can't supervise every second once the gate comes down permanently.

For context, it is day 3 of having him with us. I really love this dog already. He is so fun and goofy. He makes me laugh constantly. The idea of having to return him because of my neurotic first dog brings me to tears. I want this to work and I want to be his forever home, but I also want to be realistic. Is this going to be sustainable long-term as we go through milestones like getting a new house, getting married, having kids potentially, etc. This is my greatest fear.

I feel like we are doing everything right and being extremely cautious and trying to keep everything positive, but despite everything, it's like the effort doesn't matter.

As I mentioned, we suspect that Resident Dog missed a critical social development period in her puppyhood as she does not seem to know how interact / socialize with dogs properly, cannot read their non-threatening body language, and does not understand what a play bow is.

Has anyone dealt with this pattern (anxious/under-socialized resident dog + confident newcomer)? Is this workable with time, or a sign it's not going to click?

TLDR: My resident dog has poor social skills from likely bad early development and doesn't play-signal normally. Our foster dog (great social skills, low-key temperament) tried to play with her off-leash and she snapped when the chase got two-sided, even though she seemed to want to play. Looking for advice/success stories on integrating an anxious, poorly-socialized dog with a confident one.

What have been your experiences? We adopted from them before, but had a somewhat mixed experience that left a bad taste. We are considering adopting a second dog, but are wondering where the best place is to look this time.

We did visit Greater Huntsville Humane Society and they were awesome. Super knowledgeable! But unfortunately, options seemed to be limited for what we were looking for exactly to suit our current dog's needs and ours.

Would love to hear everyone's personal experiences, and potentially suggestions for other local shelters to look into!

NOTE: I realize that I wrote ANOL instead of ANLOL. My bad! Just a typo, so please ignore lol.

Hi everyone!

I was wondering if anyone was familiar with services for dog socialization. My dog is a skittish / nervous girl. We got her very neutral, but I feel her social skills may have degraded do the prolonged absence of any exposure to other dogs after years.

We are anti- dog park and do not allow on-leash greetings. But I also want to teach my girl that other dogs are not scary. She used to love to play in the dog park (when I was none the wiser), I got real serious about her neutrality training but fear it may have been detrimental to her social skills. Would love to rebuild them!

All of that is to say, does anyone know of controlled dog pack walks / parallel walking that is available in this area? Or any trainers in the area that focus on this specific skill?

Thank you in advance!!

Three years ago, I rescued my current dog. She was super high-energy (she was around 1.5 years) and we would go to our apartment complex's dog park often. My dog would love playing with the other dogs and go along with them well. She honestly was a big rough-houser which caused her to be corrected now and again. I was inexperienced at the time and thought that she needed to go to the dog park everyday to be socialized well.

I came to realize that this was detrimental to my dog's excitability and her ability to train. She would see another dog and lunge for it full-force because she wanted to play. After consulting with a few trainers and reading into dog parks more, we decided to go cold-turkey. My dog hasn't been to an occupied dog park in years. She never does leash greetings anymore. And because we have no friends with dogs, she never really got to interact with them.

I worked really hard on training my dog to be neutral to people and dogs. We do engage/disengage all of the time. If she sees another dog (whether they are passing by calmly or lunging at her), she gets a treat. We've done group trainings and she's been fine with the dogs. Interested in them for sure, but is able to focus in their presence.

It wasn't until we did a meet-and-greet with this new dog that I started to question whether I took my training way too far. I have a few other posts circulating since my boyfriend and I are considering getting a second dog. Intro with a new dog didn't go great. This is the first dog my current dog has interacted with intimately in a while.

In short, they didn't get along well. I think personalities were just incompatible, and she ended up having to correct the new dog a few times (something I have never seen her do before, so was a bit shocking). She seemed neutral and co-existed fine with the dog after, but no longer interested.

She is generally a skittish, nervous dog. Confidence has improved a lot since day 1, but she still feels uneasy when she hears a disembodied bark (from a dog far away or above us on a balcony). She gets scared really easily by sudden, loud barking.

My boyfriend says that I may have trained her to be fearful of other dogs. I'm inclined to think that my dog's most recent interactions at her group trainings would say otherwise, and that she maybe has just matured with age. I really hope that I didn't teach her to be scared because I've always planned to have a multi-dog household, and this definitely would throw a wrench in things. It would completely contradict the whole point of my training her in the first place!

By avoiding dogs and not giving her direct exposure / access due to multiple different factors, have I screwed up and actually trained my dog to be scared of other dogs? Is there anything I should have done differently? Can I do anything differently now? Dog parks are a no-no, and we don't know anyone else in our friend group with a dog. How am I supposed to fix this, if there is even anything in need of fixing?

Please help! Would love some advice on if I did anything wrong, or if I'm just overthinking things!!

Boyfriend and I are considering getting a second dog. Our first dog is a female. She is more confident now than when we first got her, but is generally nervous and skittish to some extent. It takes her a bit of decompressing to adapt to new scenarios.

We went to a shelter and fell in love with this other female. She is quite the opposite of my current dog. Super confident, self-assured, and possibly a bit dominant. She is definitely a pushy girl (especially with food), but otherwise loveable. We really want her.

Our meet-and-greet didn't go great (I have other posts on this diving into more detail). There were some corrections delivered from my dog, but otherwise they seemed to be able to be neutral and co-exist without tension outside by the end of our 3-day trial.

Even then, my dog didn't seem too fond of the new one right away. Maybe a bit annoyed generally. She is usually pretty interested in dogs, but they both just minded their own business. I am worried that current dog will be stressed in a household with this second dog since the intro was not perfect. Ultimately, I want us to all live happily, not in a tense environment where everyone just tolerates each other until the next conflict.

I know sex aggression is a thing, especially between two females. New dog definitely sized up my dog once or twice which caused her to deliver a correction and scuffle (all vocalizations, no bites) before we intervened. Current dog wasn't too happy, but new dog bounced back like nothing happened. My bf is trying to convince me that spaying statistically diminished the effects of same-sex aggression by 50%. I'm still hesitant, though I can't stop thinking about her.

I would love to hear from folks who are more experienced than me. Should we reconsider and look for a male companion instead? Is the prevalence of same-sex aggression really just inflated? Should we completely give up on the idea of the second female ever joining our family? I have no idea! Feeling a bit jealous of people who can live peacefully in multi-dog households without a problem.......

Thank you in advance!

My boyfriend and I are did a 3-day trial with a rescue dog we've nicknamed "Piggy" to see if she can coexist with our current dog, who I've spent three years training. The introduction at the shelter did not go well.....the space was too cramped, leashes got tangled, and our dog felt cornered and growled / bared her teeth for the first time ever at Piggy because she invaded her space while she was tangled. Our dog was also stressed from the shelter environment with lunging and barking dogs in outdoor fences.

We were disappointed with how it was handled, but decided to give it another shot at home, thinking a more familiar environment might help. We walked them together around the neighborhood first, and things seemed much more neutral, so we felt cautiously optimistic.

Unfortunately, we moved too fast once inside (I know now that this was stupid and we underestimated just how delicate this process is). We let them share the living room before they were ready, and Piggy started posturing and hard-staring our dog, which escalated into a vocal scuffle (no biting, but still scary). Since then, we fully separated them indoors. Rotating rooms and only allowing interactions outside, where they seem calm and neutral around each other. We rewarded both dogs for relaxed behavior, interrupting any fixated staring, and took things very slowly.

Resident dog seemed to try to initiate play a few times outside with Piggy, but Piggy was too fixated on me / my bf because we had food (lol). Sometimes Piggy would play chase with my dog when she got the zoomies. My dog did tuck her tail while running. Not sure if she was "butt-tucking" or actually scared. Chase never went on long enough for us to feel the need to intervene.

Resident dog is generally skittish. Confident enough, but a nervous dog all around. Piggy is much more confident and self-assured, but a little pushy and dominant at times. Our resident dog actually used to be rude like this to other dogs which got her corrected, but now that she is trained and mature, she seems a bit annoyed when Piggy gives her a taste of her own medicine. After the scuffle indoors on the first day, nothing else happened. They just seemed neutral and co-existed outside. They were slightly interested in one another at times, but usually did their own things. Never really played.

We have returned Piggy to the shelter now after the 3-day trial. But, here is my dilemma. Piggy is pushy, high-energy, and still shaking off shelter behavior, but she's also sweet, smart, easily trainable, and honestly the dog I would have chosen three years ago if we didn't already have our girl. That said, our current dog was here first and deserves to feel comfortable in her own home.

My bf and I have both fallen for Piggy, but I don't want to put my current dog into a stressful situation. Is this kind of rocky start salvageable with time and structure, or is this a sign that it was not meant to be.

Also, would love any advice on same-sex aggression. I'm not so familiar with it. I've done some reading on it, but my bf has said that studies show that spaying as significantly reduced the prevalence of same-sex aggression. I know female-female pairings can be tough. It felt like Piggy was testing boundaries sometimes to see if my dog really had it in her. Should we consider finding a male dog instead?

Thank you in advance for any advice!!

TLDR: Got a 3-day trial with a potential second dog ("Piggy"). Rough start due to a poorly managed shelter intro, and they had a scuffle at home (no biting / injuries) after we moved too fast in the process. Now keeping them fully separated except for neutral outdoor time, where they seem pretty indifferent to each other. Piggy is pushy and high-energy but loveable, and we've honestly fallen for her. My current dog was here first and her comfort is the priority......just not sure if this pairing is salvageable or if I should return Piggy before I get even more attached.