u/NightParticular9753

I used to be able to take it back to London on trips to France, that dream had died post-brexit. I’ve seen some nice ones in whole foods but they need to be used within a week and have a lot of add-ins which I don’t love. Any recommendations?

Like… I have no social life because of my ED , so I should have more money, except I spend so much money on food (obviously) and cleaning products. I’m obsessed it’s sort of a problem. Every day I find something new to deep clean, or hoover, or sweep. It’s made my house very tidy but I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with it. I’m always looking for something dirty in the house just to give myself a distraction.

TW no numbers but mention of BMI!

After being put into outpatient treatment by family and doctors, I’ve had my bloods taken every week. I’ve been struggling with recovery, and was told if I don’t gain weight that they’ll have to discharge me, which motivated me even less.
For content, I don’t have a >!severely UW BMI!< and I’m still able to function well, basically just having enough to keep going, or so I thought!

I had my bloods taken at my last appointment which showed a dangerously low level of potassium. Also low was white blood cell count and B vitamins. This was after I’d already been on 3 rounds of intense meds for refeeding syndrome. I still thought I wasn’t sick enough. I’d been eating actually a regular amount, I felt like a fake.

Turns out I was at major risk of cardiac arrest because of malnutrition and didn’t even realise it. The doctors told me I need to phone 911 immediately if I have any dizziness or feel faint. That’s how bad it was. Since then, I’ve been given a sort of emergency intense round of potassium medication which I’ve just finished and my recent bloods came back normal (generally on the low side to be expected). But I feel so lucky. I’m still walking on egg shells a bit. The only thing that can save me is eating more.

Anyway, CHOOSE RECOVERY! PLEASE! I could’ve died in my sleep and wouldn’t have known at all.

I would’ve died thinking I wasn’t sick enough.

And I know some people will read this and think “I’m not that bad” trust me you could be and you don’t even realise it. I wish I’d chosen recovery sooner, now I’m constantly worrying about my heart health and have to be really careful with what I eat because of refeeding syndrome. I hope if anything this motivates someone to push for recovery. ❤️‍🩹

I’ve been having therapy sessions for about a month now but my weight hasn’t changed. I’ve had trouble incorporating my meal plan into my life because the reintroduction of certain foods has been making me extremely nauseous. I’ve also been open with my therapist about struggling to see the point in recovery unless I’m really sick, but I could never let myself get really sick because I need to maintain my minimal health to be able to keep my job.

Basically, the only thing keeping me from getting really sick is my job and education.
I do feel like part of me want to recover because this has ruined my social life and I have lots of physical health problems now but my BMI isn’t low enough for inpatient. I honestly wish I was given inpatient treatment so someone else could force me to recover.

If I get discharged because I’m unwilling to recover I’m going to convince myself that I never had an ED in the first place and continue to live my life like this. My therapist said to me today that a lot of people get discharged and simply live with an eating disorder which made me so miserable. I don’t want to be like that, but I’m really struggling to find the motivation. Has anyone else been through this?

I’m in outpatient and have gained >!0.2kg!< in two weeks but feel like I look like I’ve gained sm more. I’ve gone from >!38kg!< to >!38.20!< and it’s really stressing me out. Last week I was >!38.15!< . Is this weight gain sufficient or can it possibly be water weight? On the most recent weigh in, I’d eaten just before my appt which I didn’t do the other two times. So could it possibly be water weight?

In reality I know it’s a good thing I’m gaining weight, it’s just really scary for me. Because I haven’t been losing, I’m worried that I’m faking it.

Does anyone have any good high volume deserts? Or any one person brownie recipes etc…