u/Niji_Iris

Hello, first off I’m really sorry if my title sounds so stupid but I have nowhere to open up about this and I really want to hear other people’s thoughts…

I am a freelance artist since 2019, recently graduated college, and while I was juggling my responsibilities as an academic student, I was also handling art commissions and sell my own handmade merch.

I gained clients, earned a small reputation as a local artist in our area, got decent sales, and many more. Recently, I've been getting super low likes and comments, it could be cause I have engrained a promise to myself that:

"I NEED TO BUILD MY PLATFORMS MORE TO GAIN MORE FOLLOWERS = MORE POTENTIAL CLIENTS = MORE INCOME & EXPOSURE"

I tried hard enough to never compare myself to different artists as we all have very unique journey.

I’m now at my lowest point.
Seeing other artists getting their support so easily, getting viral, gaining more clients…Is there something wrong with me and my arts? I despise myself for getting jealous and always comparing myself to them. I love and support my artist friends, it’s just that I hate my state of mind right now seeing their numbers from 300-1k likes easily and I want to punish myself for even thinking that way.

It almost feels like my efforts are nothing. Maybe arts isnt really my thing and maybe I should also quit everything…I’m sorry that this vent is super stupid. I still have that passion where I enjoy whatever I create, but my tears of envy kept on putting out the fire in me.