How do I tell my therapist I think I might be autistic?
First for some context. I (27F) have been in and out of therapy for 11 years now. Live in the Netherlands, so sorry if my writing isn’t great. I have seasonal depression and take antidepressents that help me a lot. Now I have Schema Therapy and it also helps me. The focus now is on my demanding parent mode. Since focussing on that I see that I kinda like that part. It helps me understand social interractions. I need to think through conversations to make sure I’m clearly giving my point. Have noticed a lot in conversations if I don’t do that people don’t understand me. I’m kinda a social cameleon. I work as a nurce in mental health. Can easily relate to my patients. Always thought my empathy would make that I can’t be autistic. But now I’ve learned that autistic woman can be realy empathic. I am doubting if I can just be a hsp. The nerves in my body are incredibly sensitive. I feel greatly what other people feel but I can dismiss my own feelings and can cross my boundaries without noticing. Have burned out multiply times in my life. Feel like I have to do a lot. Always feel tired, need to recharge on my own. Hate small talk and avoid it but love deep conversations. I’m realy scared to ask my therapist tomorrow. All my friends and family have dismissed my feeling about autism. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why I want a label. But I just want to understand if my brain wires differently. I keep repeating the same patterns and feel depressed in fall then in summer I want to change everything in life. How do I start this conversation without being dismissed immediatly? Also am thinking for days about when will be the appropriate moment to ask my question. I want to do it in the beginning directly, but know that’s socially unexceptable. But when do I do it then? Can I focus on other things that session without asking directly?
Also a little extra. I love to have the same snacks everyday all my life, drives my boyfriend insane😅. I found 1 book I love listening to and now listen every book from that autor. I can have hyper focus on a topic and research everything about it for dats, then swich to a new topic. That also feels kinda adhd, but I’m deffinitly not hyperactive and full of energie.