u/NinjaBaz224

In my mind I always pictured the elephants standing trunk to tail on the Great A'Tuin's back and slowly walking turnwise. One rotation would take a year, and that's what gives the disc it's seasons and year. But in fan art, the elephants are depicted as standing still and facing outwards. Have I got it wrong all these years? Are the elephant's positions mentioned in any of Terry's works? If they are facing out and not moving, how did the fifth elephant stumble and fall off the disc? If they are stationary, then how does the disc rotate?

When there's a knock on the door. Winnie answers then comes into living room and says to Nelson "There's a Japanese man with a truck load of exhaust pipes for us". Nelson says to tell him he must have the wrong address.

Next day Winnie says "He's back, and this time he has a truck load of brake discs for us". Nelson tells her to give him the same reply.

On the third day she says "The Japanese guy is here again, but this time he has brake pads, spark plugs and tyres" Nelson gets up from his chair and says "I'll speak to him and sort this out once and for all"

He tries to explain to the Japanese driver that he must have a wrong address in his system, because he doesn't need exhaust pipes, brake discs, spark plugs, brake pads or tyres.

The Driver looks down at his clipboard in confusion, then says "What, you no Nissan Main Dealer?"

Must be about 2005 or so. Christmas morning and family (wife & I, grandparents and 4 kids) are gathered round the tree opening presents. My youngest unwraps a present from his grandmother..... It's the DVD of Shrek. He is delighted. Screams with joy jumping up and down waving the DVD box and rushes to kiss his Grandmother.

Then says the immortal line that has gone down in family history:-

"Every time I see Shrek I will think of you Nana"

I had been on my laptop all morning working while minding the twins (6 yrs). My eyes were strained and I took my glasses off and was cleaning them when the home phone rang. My son was doing some colouring at the table within reach of the phone, so I asked him to answer it. The conversation went thus:

Son - Hello

Son - No Mummy's not here

Son - At the shops

Son - Yes....... But he's cleaning his testicles

Me (shouting) SPECTACLES! They're called spectacles. Gimme the phone.

All I could hear for nearly a minute was uncontrolled laughter on the phone.