u/No-Attitude3010

I don’t know why I’m posting this. Last days have been really rough for me and I hope this will help me a little bit.
I’m 27, and my husband is 28. We have two daughters—our oldest is almost 2 years old, and our youngest is just 3 months old.
A year ago, I thought I knew exactly what my future looked like. We were building our family. We were preparing for our second daughter. We had just bought our very first home together. We signed a mortgage, talked about decorating the girls’ rooms, and imagined watching them grow up there.
Instead… During my third trimester, my husband started an affair. Ten days before I gave birth to our youngest daughter, he left me and 2 hours later went to his mistress. Three days later, we got the keys to the house we had bought together.
Instead of walking through that front door as a family, I moved wirh my toddler into that house alone.
Today, he’s still in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with.
One of the hardest things for me is that he separates the affair from his decision to leave. He says cheating wasn’t my fault, but that his decision to end our marriage was because our relationship had become too difficult.. Those words have stayed with me ever since. I’ve spent months questioning myself as a wife, as a mother, and as a person. The hardest part is knowing I wasn’t perfect while also knowing I wasn’t the only person responsible for what happened. Looking back, I truly believed that if two people loved each other enough, almost anything could be worked through.
Oddly enough… The affair and divorce isn’t what hurts me the most anymore. What hurts the most is grieving the future I genuinely believed I would have. I thought we’d raise our daughters together. I thought we’d have one home. One Christmas morning. One birthday celebration. One set of family traditions. One ordinary life together. Instead, I’m slowly trying to accept a future I never wanted.
Right now, he only comes to visit the girls because our youngest is still only three months old. Our oldest has hardly ever spent time alone with him because throughout almost her entire life, I’ve been her primary caregiver. I know that eventually this will change. There will come a day when they spend weekends with him.
When they build memories without me. When they celebrate birthdays or holidays that I’m not part of.
I know this is reality for many divorced families. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. The idea that parts of my daughters’ childhood will happen without me absolutely breaks my heart. Not because I don’t think they deserve a father. But because I never imagined missing pieces of their lives. I never imagined having to share Christmases. Or birthdays. Or hearing about memories instead of living them with them.
None of this was my choice. I didn’t choose divorce. I didn’t choose to become a single mother. I didn’t choose for my daughters to grow up between two parents.
Yet I’m the one who has to learn how to live with all of it.
I don’t want him back anymore. Too much has happened. Too much trust has been broken.
I want peace. I want to stop replaying every conversation in my head. I want to stop wondering if I somehow destroyed my own family. I want to stop grieving a future that no longer exists.
I’m so hurt and just grieving the loss of the life I truly believed I was going to have and having to split my children.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. Last days have been really rough for me and I hope this will help me a little bit.
I’m 27, and my husband is 28. We have two daughters—our oldest is almost 2 years old, and our youngest is just 3 months old.
A year ago, I thought I knew exactly what my future looked like. We were building our family. We were preparing for our second daughter. We had just bought our very first home together. We signed a mortgage, talked about decorating the girls’ rooms, and imagined watching them grow up there.
Instead… During my third trimester, my husband started an affair. Ten days before I gave birth to our youngest daughter, he left me and 2 hours later went to his mistress. Three days later, we got the keys to the house we had bought together.
Instead of walking through that front door as a family, I moved wirh my toddler into that house alone.
Today, he’s still in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with.
One of the hardest things for me is that he separates the affair from his decision to leave. He says cheating wasn’t my fault, but that his decision to end our marriage was because our relationship had become too difficult.. Those words have stayed with me ever since. I’ve spent months questioning myself as a wife, as a mother, and as a person. The hardest part is knowing I wasn’t perfect while also knowing I wasn’t the only person responsible for what happened. Looking back, I truly believed that if two people loved each other enough, almost anything could be worked through.
Oddly enough… The affair and divorce isn’t what hurts me the most anymore. What hurts the most is grieving the future I genuinely believed I would have. I thought we’d raise our daughters together. I thought we’d have one home. One Christmas morning. One birthday celebration. One set of family traditions. One ordinary life together. Instead, I’m slowly trying to accept a future I never wanted.
Right now, he only comes to visit the girls because our youngest is still only three months old. Our oldest has hardly ever spent time alone with him because throughout almost her entire life, I’ve been her primary caregiver. I know that eventually this will change. There will come a day when they spend weekends with him.
When they build memories without me. When they celebrate birthdays or holidays that I’m not part of.
I know this is reality for many divorced families. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. The idea that parts of my daughters’ childhood will happen without me absolutely breaks my heart. Not because I don’t think they deserve a father. But because I never imagined missing pieces of their lives. I never imagined having to share Christmases. Or birthdays. Or hearing about memories instead of living them with them.
None of this was my choice. I didn’t choose divorce. I didn’t choose to become a single mother. I didn’t choose for my daughters to grow up between two parents.
Yet I’m the one who has to learn how to live with all of it.
I don’t want him back anymore. Too much has happened. Too much trust has been broken.
I want peace. I want to stop replaying every conversation in my head. I want to stop wondering if I somehow destroyed my own family. I want to stop grieving a future that no longer exists.
I’m so hurt and just grieving the loss of the life I truly believed I was going to have and having to split my children.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. Last days have been really rough for me and I hope this will help me a little bit.
I’m 27, and my husband is 28. We have two daughters—our oldest is almost 2 years old, and our youngest is just 3 months old.
A year ago, I thought I knew exactly what my future looked like. We were building our family. We were preparing for our second daughter. We had just bought our very first home together. We signed a mortgage, talked about decorating the girls’ rooms, and imagined watching them grow up there.
Instead… During my third trimester, my husband started an affair. Ten days before I gave birth to our youngest daughter, he left me and 2 hours later went to his mistress. Three days later, we got the keys to the house we had bought together.
Instead of walking through that front door as a family, I moved wirh my toddler into that house alone.
Today, he’s still in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with.
One of the hardest things for me is that he separates the affair from his decision to leave. He says cheating wasn’t my fault, but that his decision to end our marriage was because our relationship had become too difficult.. Those words have stayed with me ever since. I’ve spent months questioning myself as a wife, as a mother, and as a person. The hardest part is knowing I wasn’t perfect while also knowing I wasn’t the only person responsible for what happened. Looking back, I truly believed that if two people loved each other enough, almost anything could be worked through.
Oddly enough… The affair and divorce isn’t what hurts me the most anymore. What hurts the most is grieving the future I genuinely believed I would have. I thought we’d raise our daughters together. I thought we’d have one home. One Christmas morning. One birthday celebration. One set of family traditions. One ordinary life together. Instead, I’m slowly trying to accept a future I never wanted.
Right now, he only comes to visit the girls because our youngest is still only three months old. Our oldest has hardly ever spent time alone with him because throughout almost her entire life, I’ve been her primary caregiver. I know that eventually this will change. There will come a day when they spend weekends with him.
When they build memories without me. When they celebrate birthdays or holidays that I’m not part of.
I know this is reality for many divorced families. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. The idea that parts of my daughters’ childhood will happen without me absolutely breaks my heart. Not because I don’t think they deserve a father. But because I never imagined missing pieces of their lives. I never imagined having to share Christmases. Or birthdays. Or hearing about memories instead of living them with them.
None of this was my choice. I didn’t choose divorce. I didn’t choose to become a single mother. I didn’t choose for my daughters to grow up between two parents.
Yet I’m the one who has to learn how to live with all of it.
I don’t want him back anymore. Too much has happened. Too much trust has been broken.
I want peace. I want to stop replaying every conversation in my head. I want to stop wondering if I somehow destroyed my own family. I want to stop grieving a future that no longer exists.
I’m so hurt and just grieving the loss of the life I truly believed I was going to have and having to split my children.