u/No-Ball-9838

Unfortunately went through a medical termination 3 weeks ago to remain OAD but mentally it has been a traumatic experience.

I’ve a wonderful 5.5 year old daughter and after a few years of back and forth my husband and I made peace with the fact that we will have just the one. I grew up an only child and while I had a great childhood I always imagined 2 kids because I wanted to see the sibling bond up and close! We are also financially stable with a good home and fairly healthy family relationships.

I still couldn’t bring myself to have another baby! I’m 41 and quite healthy but still. As soon as the test was positive, all the experience of raising my 5 years old came back - pregnancy, new born trenches, toddlerhood all of it! And I was depressed for days until I truly asked myself if I wanted to raise another human being. It’s not just a baby, it’s a lifetime commitment. We love to travel and have our own hobbies as well as demanding careers. Made the tough choice of terminating at 6 weeks but now I’ve been obsessing over the decision (it was the right one) but grief has completely overtaken and although I’m not religious at all but I feel slightly guilty!
Just sharing here!

I really love my life and appreciate the one kid I have ( I have become an even better parent with her now) but there is a grieving part of me and I feel so so terrible almost like will this ever go away?
Have also booked a therapy session but Sharing here to see if anyone has anyone has any wisdom and positives to share! TY

My husband and I had our first when we both were 34, for a while I thought I’d have 2 kids (I’m an only child and always wanted to see her have siblings) but every milestone made it harder for us to think about going back. I romanticized the idea of her having a sibling and us having a bigger family but honestly didn’t feel like putting in the work all over again. But I always had that fleeting feeling of ‘what if’ This month I’ve found out I’m pregnant and in the first trimester I’m feeling many things especially around losing this life we have - loss of freedom, life changing drastically, time
Demands ( we are both in corporate jobs we love), financials etc. and very little joy.
Anyone who has been in this same boat but on the other side can tell me it is worth it? Right now I’m pretty down in the dumps and hoping it’s just the hormones.