u/No-Ranger-9229

18F here. I really want to leave my house, at least stay in a hostel away from my house while I am studying. But my parents are not allowing (especially my father) and most of my family members. I don't understand him at all, sometimes he is really nice towards me and sometimes he is really violent towards me too (he has physically abused me in the past, too many times that I remember all the incidents even though I was too young), and he is still emotionally abusing me but I am still really scared of him even though he is not in this country. Even if he return back I get really anxious, he even threatened to k\*ll me while having a conversation. He always talks about marrying me off, whenever I try to go against it, he gets mad at me. He always tells me that he will marry me off to a guy and that I should have kids (It's my worst nightmare). He dosen't want me studying anywhere far away from my house, but I really really want to get the hell out of here. I only have one wish and that's to get out of this house and even better if I can get out of country. What do I do? I am really scared it will end really badly if I leave my house..

I want to either go for CSE or ECE