u/No-Spinach2669

Help I’m 23, in a relationship and confused!

I (23f) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for coming up to 3 years now.

We lived together for 2 of those years and it was very rocky. I moved back home at the start of this year but we have remained together and still see everyone a few times a week to go out of have sleepovers.

Since I’ve had this time to myself, I’ve noticed that I’m feeling a lot more free and wanting to make plans with friends again and just generally a little happier. It’s nice to see him and I love spending time with him and we do fun things together.

The downside is he’s not financially stable. He works full time but he also has to pay his rent and bills by himself which means he doesn’t have money for other things. Multiple times now I have had to send him money for gas or his phone bill or food. He has even told me to eat before coming to his place because he doesn’t have anything for me to eat there.

He’s also just a little messy, his house is all sorts, dishes, mess, bins haven’t gone out. I think he thought that I was the one making all the mess when we were living together but it was actually just him.

This puts me in an endless loop of sending money, getting paid back, paying for activities we do together etc.

I’ve also noticed that I just don’t feel as sexually motivated as I used to feel in our relationship. It just makes me feel anxious now and not too sure why. I feel like our chemistry just is off.

Again I love spending time with him and chatting, he’s funny, quick and witty and kind. We’re in the best place together we have been in a while.

I can’t help but feel like I deserve more? That sounds rude but I know there’s someone out there I won’t have to support constantly or that always relies on me. I just don’t know if I should stay in this relationship or not. I love him to bits but I can see a brighter future for myself. I love him and my life will be so horrible and hard without him because he emotionally supports me a lot but what do I do?

I’m also in my early 20s I feel like these are really important years to explore myself and my identity.

I also just don’t know how to go about the healing process if we do breakup as we have lots of intertwining friends. And I’m scared he will hate me.

TLDR:
Bf 26m) and I (23f) are living separately after living together, I’ve realised I’m more independent, and enjoying life more. He’s loving and emotionally supportive, but he struggles financially, relies on me a lot, and I often end up covering things like food, gas, and activities. He’s also pretty messy and I’ve noticed our sexual chemistry feels off now. I still love him and enjoy being around him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I want more from a relationship and a more stable future. I’m torn between staying because I love him and enjoy him or leaving because I feel like I’m outgrowing the relationship.

Help I’m 23, in a relationship and confused!

I (23f) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for coming up to 3 years now.

We lived together for 2 of those years and it was very rocky. I moved back home at the start of this year but we have remained together and still see everyone a few times a week to go out of have sleepovers.

Since I’ve had this time to myself, I’ve noticed that I’m feeling a lot more free and wanting to make plans with friends again and just generally a little happier. It’s nice to see him and I love spending time with him and we do fun things together.

The downside is he’s not financially stable. He works full time but he also has to pay his rent and bills by himself which means he doesn’t have money for other things. Multiple times now I have had to send him money for gas or his phone bill or food. He has even told me to eat before coming to his place because he doesn’t have anything for me to eat there.

He’s also just a little messy, his house is all sorts, dishes, mess, bins haven’t gone out. I think he thought that I was the one making all the mess when we were living together but it was actually just him.

This puts me in an endless loop of sending money, getting paid back, paying for activities we do together etc.

I’ve also noticed that I just don’t feel as sexually motivated as I used to feel in our relationship. It just makes me feel anxious now and not too sure why. I feel like our chemistry just is off.

Again I love spending time with him and chatting, he’s funny, quick and witty and kind. We’re in the best place together we have been in a while.

I can’t help but feel like I deserve more? That sounds rude but I know there’s someone out there I won’t have to support constantly or that always relies on me. I just don’t know if I should stay in this relationship or not. I love him to bits but I can see a brighter future for myself. I love him and my life will be so horrible and hard without him because he emotionally supports me a lot but what do I do?

I’m also in my early 20s I feel like these are really important years to explore myself and my identity.

I also just don’t know how to go about the healing process if we do breakup as we have lots of intertwining friends. And I’m scared he will hate me.

TLDR:
Bf 26m) and I (23f) are living separately after living together, I’ve realised I’m more independent, and enjoying life more. He’s loving and emotionally supportive, but he struggles financially, relies on me a lot, and I often end up covering things like food, gas, and activities. He’s also pretty messy and I’ve noticed our sexual chemistry feels off now. I still love him and enjoy being around him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I want more from a relationship and a more stable future. I’m torn between staying because I love him and enjoy him or leaving because I feel like I’m outgrowing the relationship.

Help I’m 23, in a relationship and confused!

I (23f) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for coming up to 3 years now.

We lived together for 2 of those years and it was very rocky. I moved back home at the start of this year but we have remained together and still see everyone a few times a week to go out of have sleepovers.

Since I’ve had this time to myself, I’ve noticed that I’m feeling a lot more free and wanting to make plans with friends again and just generally a little happier. It’s nice to see him and I love spending time with him and we do fun things together.

The downside is he’s not financially stable. He works full time but he also has to pay his rent and bills by himself which means he doesn’t have money for other things. Multiple times now I have had to send him money for gas or his phone bill or food. He has even told me to eat before coming to his place because he doesn’t have anything for me to eat there.

He’s also just a little messy, his house is all sorts, dishes, mess, bins haven’t gone out. I think he thought that I was the one making all the mess when we were living together but it was actually just him.

This puts me in an endless loop of sending money, getting paid back, paying for activities we do together etc.

I’ve also noticed that I just don’t feel as sexually motivated as I used to feel in our relationship. It just makes me feel anxious now and not too sure why. I feel like our chemistry just is off.

Again I love spending time with him and chatting, he’s funny, quick and witty and kind. We’re in the best place together we have been in a while.

I can’t help but feel like I deserve more? That sounds rude but I know there’s someone out there I won’t have to support constantly or that always relies on me. I just don’t know if I should stay in this relationship or not. I love him to bits but I can see a brighter future for myself. I love him and my life will be so horrible and hard without him because he emotionally supports me a lot but what do I do?

I’m also in my early 20s I feel like these are really important years to explore myself and my identity.

I also just don’t know how to go about the healing process if we do breakup as we have lots of intertwining friends. And I’m scared he will hate me.

TLDR:
Bf 26m) and I (23f) are living separately after living together, I’ve realised I’m more independent, and enjoying life more. He’s loving and emotionally supportive, but he struggles financially, relies on me a lot, and I often end up covering things like food, gas, and activities. He’s also pretty messy and I’ve noticed our sexual chemistry feels off now. I still love him and enjoy being around him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I want more from a relationship and a more stable future. I’m torn between staying because I love him and enjoy him or leaving because I feel like I’m outgrowing the relationship.