Given Up all Hope
Yesterday, I was walking home after my work and I had a panic attack because I kept thinking the worst possible scenarios of the pause that is in place for immigrant visas. I had to sit on the side of pavement, and was unable to walk for a while.
When the pause was new, I was very optimistic and very hopeful that it won’t be for like (like come on 75 countries? Families? No way it will extend more than 3 months) but here we are. It will be almost 4 months on 21st May (in 3 days).
I have lost all hope, I don’t know why the judge is taking so much time on making a decision (like come on this cause is surely important than everything else). I feel scared all the time with “ what ifs” and i worry for my elder parents in my home country who are old and alone. I have no siblings in my home country so I can’t wait for them to be here. Everything just feels so unfair especially when the pause is totally unjust and there are countries with worse statistics not part of the pause. This is all diplomatic and politically motivated.
I used to give people hope that the pause will be lifted soon but now I have no words for anyone and I am completely hopeless. It has taken a serious toll on my mental health. I am just so sick and tired of this!
I am sorry for ranting and demotivating but I wanted to share my feelings here and maybe someone will give me some positive words. There is no one in my real life who is going through this so I keep coming back to this group for motivation because I see so many families separated (kids, spouses, parents, siblings).