Anybody else feel like they are stuck waiting on an adultier adult to come save them from all the pain? I find myself feeling stuck bc I don’t think I have the necessary coping skills to manage all the loss. I cook the same meals over and over bc it is all the energy I have.
Do you all feel it is possible for everyone to learn Portuguese if enough effort is put in? I just find myself still struggling with the language years into living in Portugal and I feel a bit hopeless. I wonder if I am too old (36) or if maybe languages are not my strength. Maybe I haven’t had the right instructor?
This is the first time for me attempting to learn a language and I struggle finding enough exposure. I have mastered how to order food and navigate a grocery store, but I am still at a loss for most other situations. Any advice, tips, hopeful stories would be appreciated.
I ran into my ex today in public… and now I feel crazy. To put it into perspective, she filed false DV allegations against me at the time of our separation. Today, she literally cowered as if I were going to hit her in public. I have never hit her nor acted like I was going to. This has me feeling so much shame and confusion. Why is she doing all of this? I feel like I am being treated as if I am a monster… It really has me spiraling.
How did you all deal with your ex showing disgust towards you? We were together for almost 15 years and now she treats me with absolute disgust. Like talking down to me and ignoring the words that I say kind of disgust. I have a hard time not taking it personally and letting it reflect my own self-worth. For most of our years together, it was relatively happy. The last three years were terrible bc she revealed her infidelities and all of her lies. Why am I being treated like I am the bad guy all of a sudden?
I recently had someone reach out with interest in maybe dating me. I have been separated from my wife for about 7 months and nothing is putting that back together again. I have been open and honest with this person that I am still technically married and this has not discouraged the interested person.
My STBXW destroyed me to a level of despair I have never experienced before. This has made me cautious and fearful about my heart. I broke down crying bc another person was showing interest in me and it brought up so much fear for me. At the same time, I am so very lonely and it feels nice to have someone express interest in me.
Should I pursue this person and face down my fears?
Anybody ever just wake up and feel like you are drowning. My entire life imploded whenever my STBXW announced separation. I am behind financially, have no friends and limited family, am living in a country I can’t speak the language, and I am having a hard time seeing a way out of all of this mess. Does it ever get better?
(Trigger: suicide) I am feeling so worthless right now. 7 months ago my ex and I separated and the way she has treated me since has devastated me. Prior to our separation, she physically assaulted me and then when I responded by wrapping my arms around to tell her to calm down she flipped the script and said I was abusive. She even told the police I assaulted her.
After it all happened, it was like a switch flipped in her and she just stopped caring suddenly. I became suicidal and was admitted inpatient for a few days. She manipulated me into moving out by telling me she would work on us if I moved out. Then… she just forgot about me. After 15 years together, she just forgot. She quit couples counseling, she stopped responding to texts, and she declined all avenues of repair.
I have never felt so dehumanized in my life. I showed up with repair even at the end and she just turned everything I said against me. She has taken no accountability and some days I just feel so crazy. I had invested heavily into the relationship and had even forgiven her for her past infidelities.
Now, I just have all this pain and nowhere really to put it so it just cycles through me. I am so tired of crying and having panic and 6 out of 7 days I am miserable. She has just been partying and having a good ole time. It’s like I never mattered to her at all. I feel crazy.
I woke up today just hurting something fierce. The amount of pain my STBXW has done to me is literally traumatic. I have never experienced pain like this and we are 7 months into separation. 6 days out of 7 I am falling apart even with therapy and medication support.
I am living out of a studio because she manipulated me to move out by telling me that she would work on us if I moved out. She immediately forgot about me, stopped responding to my texts, declined to speak in-person, and left me holding the ruins of our relationship by myself. She just completely moved-on with no regret, no remorse, and no empathy.
I’m trying to be a father to my son but she is leaving me in the dust because she is just not grieving. It adds a whole other layer to “did I even matter.” There is just so much betrayal to what she had done but she has declined to acknowledge any of it which makes me feel crazy. I feel literally insane.
Today, I found out my STBXW has been engaging in parental alienation by telling our 5YO that “daddy is bad.” I confronted her calmly and she of course denied it, but my gut says that my son is telling the truth. It is just a bitter pill to swallow that the person my life once revolved around is capable of such terribleness.
In a way, it is somewhat of a relief because I have been putting so much into being a good father even with him saying such things but now I know the reason. Any tips, advice, or just kindness anyone can offer would be appreciated. I’m all alone dealing with all of this.
Like the title says, I need to know that I am not alone as I survive this divorce process. I have no friends and very limited family support and I feel like I am losing my mind some days. I mean, quite literally losing it, not exaggerating.
I balance between days filled with crying, days spent absolutely alone, and days trying to be a single father that has absolutely no energy bc of all the other days. I try to go to the gym and eat healthier, but I’m still constantly running into the negatives with my energy.
I live in a country where I do not speak the language and so I cannot just go to the store to talk to someone. I am profoundly lonely but also have no energy to try to make friends. My ex has been so hurtful throughout this whole process with her lies and manipulations.
Some days I am unsure if I can keep going. If I can keep getting out of bed. I don’t remember the last time I took a shower. I make sure my son has his but I often forget about me.
Anybody else struggling with worthlessness? I am drowning underneath finances, grief from the loss of my relationship, and trying to be a father. I have no friends and limited family. I have no one but myself. I lost my home in this process and am living out of a studio. I wake up with such severe anxiety and feeling like I am drowning every day. I am struggling to even know what I am fighting for…
Has anybody paid their taxes in full in Portugal and then filed an amendment on their U.S. taxes to gain the credit? If you did, what documents did you get from Portugal to provide an accountant in the U.S. and where did you find them? I’m assuming they are somewhere on the Finanças portal. Everybody I have talked to so far have paid their U.S. taxes and then filed for the credit here in Portugal. I would rather my tax money go to Portugal though.
The fact that my ex just moved on within a day just makes me feel crazy. It has been 6 months of separation and I have not seen her grieve our relationship once. She has been partying, having a “glow-up”, and just overall seems completely unbothered. After 15 years together… It is literally the most invalidating experience I have ever been through. Is this her revenge? Did she truly not care about us? Am I crazy?