Yeaterday I wasn’t successful staying away from my from my inner circle behaviors. Today will be challenging because I don’t have my blockers and filters on. I am going to break the day up into hour segments and try telling myself this next hour I won’t engage in my inner circle behaviors.
Hi all, I just moved here a few weeks ago, and was wondering what are the recommended tattoo places in Racine or the surrounding area. I am willing to travel up to Milwaukee or into Chicago as well. This would be my first of hopefully many tattoos.
Hi there, I am No_Diver and I’m a sex addict. My inner circle behaviors include Sexting, pornography, compulsive masturbation, lying, cheating, and ai images.
Someone left a comment on one of my posts that I need to create a contact at my next SAA meeting that I would turn to when I notice myself entering my middle circle behaviors. It was a terrific piece of advice. Only problem was I didn’t make it to my meeting this week. Earlier today I was engaging in middle circle behaviors and I felt good to tell myself “No diver this is middle circle behavior. You know how this will end”. Which helped for a little bit. Then later I found myself engaging again. To which I thought about the community and not trying to white knuckle this. One thing I did differently the second time was I started cleaning my apartment. So far it has been tremendously helpful For me to just start.
Thank you for listening to my share, and assisting with my recovery.
Hi all, I am No_diver and I am a sex addict. My inner circle behaviors involve sexting, pornography excessive masturbation, cheating, lying, ai images.
Today I need to be honest wit’s myself and everyone. It was a setback. I relapsed and engaged in my inner circle behaviors. Im not going to beat myself up about it. I thought about it while I meditated (Sit there and think, I’d like to say it was meditation). My major middle circle behaviors Involve finding websites to block, and aimlessly being online. I bet my screen time is through the roof. If it’s not pornography I’m here or elsewhere. Just never living in the present. It clicked I’ll never be able to block every adult website, and wasting my time trying to find a websites that aren’t blocked is pathetic. It’s still Wasting my life away with pornography And sex addiction. This addiction is predatory and mysoginistic. It doesn’t create attributes I want
I want to make changes in a healthy manner. In order to do that I need to break this addiction and break this cycle. Tomorrow I’m attending my usual SAA meeting. I haven’t been able to attend in a couple weeks so I’m looking forward to that.
Thank you for listening to my share and helping with my recovery.
Hey guys I am No_diver I am a sex addict. my inner circle behaviors include sexting, lying, cheating, pornography, excessive masturbation.
I just wanted to say I told myself last night I’ll go 24 hours without engaging in inner circle behaviors and I made it. I’m really proud of myself. Now I want to go another 24 hours. Tomorrow will be more difficult, I’m dropping my dad off at the airport at noon. half the day I will be alone. I won’t enter my inner circle for the next 24 hours. Every SAA meeting they say it’s not group therapy. It does feel terrific getting everything off my chest.
Thank for you listening to my share, and assisting with my recovery.
Hi all I am No_diver and I am a sex addict. my inner circle behaviors include cheating, pornography, sexting, online affairs, cam sites, seeking escorts, excessive masturbation, ai images
I wanted to check in now and then come back later in the day. I am going to try not to ramble too much, and be all over the place. Last night I made a post and said I was going to go 24 hours without engaging in my inner circle behaviors. So far I have done great. This morning I was flirting with my middle circle behaviors. I was adding websites to my blocking lists. I plan To be able to update everyone that will have reached my goal of 24 hours without engaging in those behaviors.
Now here’s where I’ll ramble a bit about what’s on my mind. It hit me yesterday during the day. My dad is visiting me and I was engaging in my inner circle behaviors. Pornography is so staged and fake. We let it consume our lives And by doing so we live a fake life. I dated my ex and was a terrible partner, I lived in her house for years with her family. Now it has come out to them the extent of my terrible behaviors, it always leads me down a spiral if I’m a good person. This addiction always has me hit a new low point. my ex told me I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. She has recently started seeing this guy who I think is abusive. Her friends don’t like him either. Where I’m going at here her mom texted her “No_diver is a pervert but not a liar”. I don’t want to be known as a pervert. I don’t want to have the reputation has being the creepy guy. I want to atop wasting my life with this addiction
I had such a hard time in that relationship because I’m a people pleaser and maybe struggle with codependent tendencies. So if anyone has recommendations for CoDA or SLaa meetings I’d love to check them out.
Thank you for listening to my share.
Edit: I’m so sick of hurting people because of this addiction, man. It’s the worst feeling not even being to explain why you engage in this behaviors. I don’t even try and hurt people. I just want to be a good person.
Hi all No_diver checking in. I am a sex addict and my inner circle behaviors are pornography, sexting, cheating, online affairs, ai images, lying, compulsive masturbation, cam sites.
Well my dad is visiting me and that’s been great. but so far I have slid into inner circle behaviors. actually to be honest, I haven’t been able to get out of my inner circle behaviors for the past week and a half. I was going strong. then I went to another state for a job interview. Something came up today involving my ex gf. who i treated poorly. I have a horrible problem of people pleasing and couldn‘t tell her no so I would grow resentful and act out my inner circles. I can’t think about seeing another girl until I work on myself. I just laid down to go to bed and I was thinking ”why not, you have already acted out once today. it’s hot as hell and will help you sleep”.
i know I will just regret it. I want to be a good person. I don’t want to have the labels pervert, people pleaser, creep, sex addict or anything next to my name. Here goes 24 hours no inner circle behavior. Thank you for listening to my share and helping with my recovery.
Hi all, I am No_Diver and I am a sex addict. My addiction comes in multiple forms. Mainly it is pornography, sexting, compulsive masturbation, online affairs, and I'll throw lying in there too.
It lately has been making my life unmanageable because I am showing up late to things. There has been a lot going on in my life lately instead of taking action on things that need to be completed. I have chosen to compulsively masturbate. It has been consuming all of my time away from work. This is not the life I want to live. I want to make changes, and stop messing around in my inner circles. Currently all of my blocking systems are off. I am realizing this is one of my middle circle behaviors. I also haven't been attending SAA, journaling or meditating. Step 1 for me was starting. I started cleaning my apartment because my dad will be arriving soon. I restarted my blockers. I want to be a better human being and get over this addiction. I keep thinking when I die I'll see a pie chart showing the breakdown of how I spent my time. I hate this addiction.
Thank you for listening to my share, and thank you for assisting with my recovery.
Hi, I am No_Diver and I am a sex addict. Are we allowed to post our inner circle behaviors?
Basically the past few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. To deal with the stress of it all I have been relapsing like crazy. I haven't attended SAA for a couple of weeks. My Fellowship program is wrapping up, and on top of that I went to another state for a job interview. I got the job and am super grateful for this opportunity. But it's like I can't focus on anything besides acting out on my inner circle behaviors. It's like I don't know where to focus my attention so I stay frozen and in my inner circles.
The things rattling around my head are my father is coming to visit me, and honestly I'm a disaster when it comes to planning. I'm a disaster in general. I have a final report I need to finish for my fellowship to receive my last stipend. I have to pack up my apartment to leave, and then move halfway across the country while finding an apartment in that state. I don't know what to focus on, and I wasted today after coming home from work. I wasted yesterday as well. My report was due last week. I hate this is my reaction when I get overwhelmed. Is anyone else like this? What are strategies you have used?
Thank you for listening to my share.
How do you guys keep your place clean? I always end up cleaning like a mad man during the weekend. Now that I'm 30 I don't want to waste the hours I'm not working cleaning. Is there any strategies or anything you use to stay on top of the cleaning? Or any routines that you use?
I love this community and will be here for everyone who struggles with compulsive sexual behavior and who genuinely wants to make a change. That being said some of these posts are so ridiculous. "I'm scared I will relapse or Is this a relapse". You need to write down what your circle behaviors are if you want to make changes. Physically write this down. That way you don't have to make a post "Did I relapse if I do X". You can say I violated my own personal definition of my inner circle behavior and I relapsed.
Next addressing posts like "Motivate me I'm scared". Eventually someone is going to look up to you. Do you think that being scared of not being in control of your behavior would make for a good role model. You're not scared. People who don't know when they are getting their next meal are scared. If you die and your family was to see your Reddit would you want them seeing "I'm scared I might relapse" in terms of your compulsive sexual behavior.
The last couple things, I was this way too. It took me awhile to break the mindset, and many SAA meetings. People focus way too much on streaks. There isn't some magic days number and poof you're superman. If you don't make genuine changes to your behavior every day you will end up with the same post "Urges are bad. I'm scared I will relapse" or "I'm scared I will relapse today". If you relapse, take what you learned and move on to make changes.
Genuinely the only things that have helped me was identifying the behaviors, and changing them. I also have plenty of blockers on my phone and PC. I also attend SAA every week. Don't try to white knuckle this addiction. The book easy peasy method was helpful. There are plenty of free resources out there. Take it from me, I am 31 and after years of being hooked I'm just starting to free myself from this.
This has been a post I've been looking forward to making for a minute now. I feel great, I am going to bed normally. Getting back into working out. MY body doesn't feel weird. I still have the standard social anxiety. But I'm overall so glad to have made it 30 days. The biggest thing that helped me was the first week I would go to the gas station and buy a candy bar instead of zyn. After a while I just stopped going into the gas station. I feel good about myself because tomorrow I have a presentation to give and I feel pretty nervous about it. But I haven't resorted to throwing a zyn pouch in.
I don't really know where else to put this, and most likely it will turn into some rambling. But I just want to get it off my chest. I think I have always had a codependency whether it is my friendships or relationships. Basically last year I was broken up with from a nearly 10 year relationship. I 100% am at fault for torpedoing the relationship. I was constantly glued to my phone and have a pornography and sex addiction. Man, the behaviors from the sex and porn addiction just kept making me go lower and lower. They are something I am working on. I'm attending SAA every week. So fast forward to today, I had guinea pigs with my ex. I went to pick up the one's ashes because she was her pig. We haven't spoken in a few weeks, since things imploded. We were trying to be friends and what not. She hit me with leave her on my doorstep and never contact me again. Which really is hitting me hard. Being broken up has hit me hard. I really miss her, a lot. I did such a lousy way of showing that I loved her during the relationship. I guess while I was with her I was starving to be my myself. But now I'm away from her and will never hear from her again, kinda sucks.
Basically that's the title. I'm going to go shower and read, after I came home from working out I just got hit by the huge urges. They will pass.
I ended up relapsing earlier, while adding websites to my block lists. It made me realize what my inner and middle circle behaviors are. I just spent a few moments while riding my stationary bike to identify and update my circles. Which I'm proud to say are actual behaviors. Not just "stop compulsive sexual behavior". I actually put a definition to that tonight. I want to make it until my next SAA meeting and give a positive update at the meeting.
Over the weekend, I went to my best friend's baby shower. Unfortunately I broke my no drinking streak. Luckily I didn't break my zyn streak. The bad part was after the bars we tried going to a gas station, and luckily the gas station was closed. Still, I am proud of three weeks nicotine free. Usually long drives I would need the Zyn. But instead I bought and used gum. Zyn sucks.
This addiction causes nothing but pain and hurt to the people you care for. I hate it, I really do. Every confrontation I have regarding this addiction makes me feel lower and lower.
I don't know what is wrong with me, as far back as I can remember I have struggled with this porn and sex addiction. The past few years I have seriously tried stopping and changing my behavior. The problem is that every relationship with a woman I have hurt them. It brings me so much shame. I think I need to get back into attending myt SA meetings. My ex girlfriend I was in a relationship with for almost a decade. In that time frame I had an online affair, and did shameful stuff with ai. She found out about all of this, and I couldn't explain why I did it. The only explanation I had was that I was a sex and porn addict. It's pathetic to say that. My ex's family just found out and she said I'm not ever going to speak with her, and that my actions have ruined her life. Maybe I would be better suited for SLAA. I was just going through the motions with my ex and it was horrible for her. I hurt her so badly.
The thing is every relationship I have, eventually I just hurt the person I'm with. No one I have hurt as bad as my ex. But fuck man, I don't want to hurt anyone. I hate feeling like I'm a creep. I hate feeling like I'm a shitty person. Fuck this addiction. I don't know how to be better, and I desperately want to be a better person.
I plan to pay my bills. Then get the heck off my PC and go grocery shopping to get out of the house. I've been doing pretty good. My brain is just throwing a lil tantrum. I'll be stronger
That's it, one week away from Zyn. I accomplished a small win. The next goal is 14 days.