u/No_Equal_6994

So I’m we have 2 daughters one 8 the other 11.
My 8yr old adores her Dad but has now started to display signs of anxiety. Headaches, stomachaches and upset stomachs the day before and after.
My 11yr old swings from wanting to see him to not wanting to. Dad is not a naughty word but it’s hard when the 8yr old wants to talk positively about Dad and the 11yr old will try to shoot it down or vis-versa. I don’t want to call a halt to the conversation and make Dad a hot potato topic. I don’t know whether I should separate the two so they each have the space to feel or express how they are freely or would that make it worse? Then it’s not always possible like in the car. They both have very different experiences and memories of their Dad.

When it comes to hand overs of if I know in advance the oldest isn’t going do I let them know, sometimes I won’t even know till that morning?

Do I let them know the youngest is showing signs of anxiety? That I’ve got permission from the school to place a worry bag in her book bag on the alternate Fridays or should I just keep it in there all time as I could exaggerate the anxiety? To stop the well mum has placed this in here, I must have to worry about something? Or am I just overthinking it?

Do I let them know the youngest is was very upset when a message I sent to her Dad wasn’t passed along? She wanted to stay an extra day, I communicated we had a trip planned, I got back she still wanted to stay. So she missed out on a trip to a theme park and spent to next 2-3 days really upset when she realised this. The trip was a surprise at least the location was, so I had to rely on the message to be passed along which in this case it was not. So I know unfortunately from now on I’ll need to insist I speak with her as I obviously can’t rely on the other adult properly which sucks. I wonder if part of this was due to my oldest refusing to go that weekend?

All I want is for my girls to be happy, have smooth handovers and not be caught up in some tit for tat war?

So suggestions on how to encourage Dad conversations without them both trying to shoot each other down?

Do I send a heads up message about my oldest decisions to go or not to go? I do these types of messages to warn if they are ill etc

Do I let my 11yr old take the lead expressing what she wants given my word isn’t always enough?

Sorry so many questions in one post.

I recently attended a UK sci‑fi convention and left a factual, experience‑based review on Trustpilot. Nothing dramatic — just my honest disappointment compared to the previous event. I talked about:

• accessibility issues
• lack of seating outside panels
• long autograph queues
• poor value for VIP tickets
• panels feeling dry without an MC
• nothing to do between panels
• late‑night events not being child‑friendly
• the fact that I’m disabled and struggled with the layout

I didn’t attack anyone. I didn’t mention my kids except to say they were well‑behaved and happy with their devices. I simply said the event felt like a step down from the last one and that the lack of seating caused me irregular muscle contractions in my core, ribs and diaphragm, making it hard to breathe by the end of the day.

The next day, the company posted on their social media encouraging people to leave “constructive criticism”… right after using their platform to mock and attack me for my review. Their hardcore fans then piled on, calling me entitled, dragging my kids into it, and acting like I’d committed a crime by not enjoying the event.

It’s honestly cemented my view of the company.
If a business can’t handle one negative review without sending the hounds after a disabled mum of two, what does that say about their wider ethics.

I walked away from the event with:

• a couple of autographs
• severe muscle spasms from the lack of seating
• and a mob of strangers attacking me because I dared to have an opinion

I think I’m done with the UK convention circuit.
If companies can’t stomach honest feedback and allow their fanbase to dogpile anyone who doesn’t share the hype, then it’s not a safe or welcoming space — especially for disabled attendees or parents.

So attended Warp 2 this weekend and compared to Warp 1 it just feels kind of lacklustre. I went to Starfury Warp 2 and wondered if anyone else felt it was a bit underwhelming compared to the previous event?

The guests were lovely, but the talks weren’t very engaging and there were long stretches where there was nothing to do except wait around. At the same time, the few panels I did want to see ended up clashing, so you miss out anyway.

What makes it stand out is that Warp 1 didn’t feel like this at all? It did still have the waiting around but Warp 1 had Ed Speleers, who was genuinely great at crowd work — funny, energetic and able to carry a room. His panels had momentum and even the downtime felt lighter because he set such a good tone.

Warp 2, by comparison, felt like:

fewer engaging talks

more dead space in the schedule

clashes between the only interesting sessions

no filler activities or fan‑run bits

lots of waiting around with nothing happening

Disco starting after 9pm means if you take kids they are already in bed or thinking about it by then

Cosplay competition is something that could be slotted in during the day how about that enormous gap Sunday morning?

Can start around 10am on Sat but you’re stuck waiting till 12pm for Sunday. Right now all I want to do is grab my autographs and hit the 5hr drive home. Very disappointed, very glad I only went for Standard because I’d be very annoyed if I’d paid for the gold experience.

Easily could have invited some fan groups such as the Rikers Beard who would come with their amazing bridge set ups…

This feels like the poor man’s version of the old SFBall which I sorely miss. Destination has sunk so low it’s not worth attending. So the UK Star Trek Convention scene is now dead. If I want to attend something where I’m not half sleep I’ll have to head abroad. If this hadn’t already been the last Warp convention it probably would have put me off coming again. It’s likely put me off any other spin off conventions they do too.

I’m a single mum with 2 daughters.

My youngest was due to return home tomorrow morning. Then I get a message from the other parent saying she didn’t want to come back yet and asking if they could just drop her at school on Tuesday instead.

The problem is I’ve made plans to take both my daughters to a local theme park tomorrow with it being a bank holiday. My oldest didn’t go to contact this weekend and this might be something of a developing pattern. This might even be a bit of tit for tat for her not going too.

I replied to the message saying we had plans but the other parent said the youngest still wanted to stay. I even stated I would need to get a refund for her ticket. I’m now stuck. I don’t want to force her home if she’s genuinely enjoying herself, but I also don’t want to cancel a rare fun day out for my oldest because of a last‑minute change.

If I go ahead with the trip with just my oldest, I’m worried my youngest might be upset later that she missed out and my oldest may use it to make them feel guilty for not coming home. But if I cancel, my oldest will be disappointed and it feels unfair to punish her for something outside of our control?

I have 2 girls age 11 & 8. I fled nearly 3 years ago. Add in family court & concerns ignored I’ve ended up with a contact order that is working for one but not the other. The 11yr old towards the end started to be targeted with verbal abuse. The 8yr old was the favourite. As you’ve probably figured the 8yr old is hunky dory, adores the other parent. The 11yr old now doesn’t want to see the other parent unless their grandma comes down or it involves going to see cousins. She has started to refuse to go full stop. I’ve asked why? We’ve amended and bent the sprit of the order. I’ve passed along how she feels and why? My problem is how do you deal with the one child being all pro & the other all nah. Neither really understands the other’s position on it & it’s starting to affect their relationship which I hate to see. I’ve explained they’re both different people with different experiences, both feeling are valid & not any more important than the other. The younger one will talk about the other parent “I miss them” etc but if my other one is in the room they will immediately try to shut it down “shut up”. The 11yr old refused to go this Friday but the 8yr old went, I then get a message saying they want to stay a day longer even though we had planned a trip.
It feels a bit tit for tat. Given that the youngest one was nearly talked into giving up swimming despite saying she wanted to become a lifeguard not 2 weeks beforehand all because as it impacted on the others time (this is what she told me), so I had to move it to another day on a school night.