u/No_Feedback_3340

I guess this is a follow up to my previous question about pay cuts. I'll be finished graduate school in 2027 and I will definitely need to get some full-time experience and save up money before I can actually move abroad. With my current financial and career ​situation, I concede that I might not be able to leave the US until 2031 at the earliest. My question is how many years did you spend ​saving up money to afford your move abroad?

I put this under "testimonial" because this seemed like the most appropriate flair. If it's wrong I will post again with the correct flair.

This sermon is 15 minutes long but one part that stood out to me is where the pastor referred to Christian nationalism (specifically Rededicate 250) as the idolatry of our times (paraphrasing).

Today is field day at the elementary school I work at and I thought this would be a good time think back to our field day memories. It's good that kids today are still getting this opportunity. I still remember field day when I was in elementary school. There was one game where we had a relay race with water balloons. That was fun

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I remember watching some of these videos as a younger kid in the early 2000s. I definitely enjoyed the ones I watched and on a few occasions watched them on YouTube just for nostalgia purposes. I always thought the content itself and Dave Hood's presentation were fun (and Becky too in the videos she was part of).

Also, I just found out that Dave Hood, who presented these videos, passed away in February 2026 at the age of 75. I don't know why but I was curious to see whatever became of him since he hadn't made a lot of public appearances in a long time. Here's a link to his last interview, which was uploaded posthumously.

RIP Dave. There goes an angel!

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I'm always stuck in the past. I keep feeling guilty about all the things I could've done in the past (studying music, theatre, or mass communications). I feel guilty and ashamed for not studying those things. I can't look forward or in the present. I can only look in the past and beat myself up for my past mistakes. Some days I don't even want to grow up anymore.

I'm getting close to finishing a master's in special education but I'm questioning whether I want to pursue it as a career. I've been in college for 12 years (got my bachelor's in 2023 and now I'm in grad school), I'm almost 30, I'm still working part-time jobs and I'm never happy with any career path I'm on. Whenever I see people my same age having better lives then me I become apoplectic and take my anger and self-hatred out on everyone around me. I keep beating myself up about not studying mass communications, music, or theatre because I probably would've gotten my bachelor's degree years ago, had a career years ago and no need to work on a master's I'm half-hearted about if I did that. But part of me doesn't really want a career. I want any Monday-Friday job that will give me time to pursue music and photography. I'd love to do those things full-time but I know it will never happen. I kind of enjoy being the tortured artist because that feels like the only thing I can do right.

I really just don't grow up anymore. I don't think adult life is for me. I've tried it since I turned 18 and it's just not for me. I can't stay out of the past.

I'm going to be honest. I sometimes find myself angry at God. Both over things in my personal life and the world in general. I see all the suffering, ​unfairness, and cruelty and I find myself being angry at God. It's hard to look at the world as it is without doubting the goodness and mercy of God. Sometimes I wonder if God is not really good or just doesn't. If I meet him, the first thing I'd ask him is "Do you enjoy watching us suffer? What's the matter with you?"

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I definitely feel like I read this at some. I can't remember when but if feels familiar. Maybe in my early elementary years, or even before that. Somehow this memory got unlocked for me.

I've been wanting to write about this for a while but only just now am I finally getting the words to write this.

I've been thinking a lot about monasticism lately. I was raised Roman Catholic and attended a high school run by Franciscan Friars. Not only did I become familiar with the Franciscan way (poverty, chastity, obedience, care for the poor and marginalized, care for the Earth), but I developed an admiration for it that I still have today. Sometimes I felt like the only who cared about the Franciscan way. There was a time when I considered joining the Conventual Franciscans (OFM Conv) but I didn't because I didn't think I had the discipline to live that life. Also there were some Protestant ideas that I began to embrace.

Fast forward years later I attend a United Methodist church because there are some things about Wesleyanism that I admire (Wesleyan Quadrilateral, teetotalism, justification and regeneration). I also admire how mainline Protestantism emphasizes social justice and LGBTQ inclusion (Catholics also do a lot with social justice but are mixed on LGBTQ issues). I also support ordination of women and married individuals. I'm technically not a member but I am currently involved with music ministry.

Obviously, having some views that align with Protestantism wouldn't fly in a Catholic religious order. However, I have felt what I think might be a call to a communal celibate life. One of my disappointments with Protestantism (including Methodism) is the lack of community for celibates. I'm aware of Anglican and Lutheran monastic communities (including Franciscan communities). I supposed I could consider joining the Episcopal Church and look into their Franciscan communities but there aren't as many of them as there are in the Roman Catholic Church. Since I'm technically still a member of the Catholic Church (baptized and confirmed and never received into any other denomination), I've sometimes considered going back to the Catholic Church to join the Conventual Franciscans.

My point is that I think I'm being called to a celibate life, but I don't want to do this in haste. I believe celibacy is a calling from God, but it shouldn't require making the journey alone, which is why being part of a community is important. Looking at the world as it is makes monastic life more appealing to me. The influencer culture, the worship of wealth, the overconsumption, the hate, the bigotry, the cruelty have all made me think more seriously about the Franciscan values I spent 2010-2014 being exposed to.

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