u/No_Ground_817

Just jotting down a quick thought here; but like, you'll see philosophers discussing whether memory is what makes you you; and there'll be these thought experiments where they say things like "oh, if another person suddenly woke up with your memories would they suddenly be you". Then you'll see people start talking about how freaky and existentially horrifying it would be to suddenly wake up and be a different person, and all I can think is "bitch you're describing Thursday it's really not that bad"

-Laura of the Eco System

Hi again. Been a while since we posted last. So, our system has seen sporadic but continuous growth ever since we discovered our systemhood a few months ago, and it's starting to get a bit overwhelming. We're up to 29 now, and it's getting impossible to keep everyone in mind or give them all a proper time allocation, even with attempts at rotating various groups in and out of co-con. Personally I'm starting to fear the emergence of new alters, which really isn't fair to the poor dears who didn't choose to be born, but I'm just...not sure if I can handle any more. I've heard of systems who eclipse us in size (60, 90, 150, etc), and I was hoping to ask for advice. I feel like an overworked parent who can't take any more. We've tried cycling groups in and out of co-con, and that helps a bit, but it's hard to avoid feeling like I'm neglecting a bunch of them. How do you all manage? I'm at my wit's end.

Hey all, so, we just got introduced to a new member in a really weird and kind of distressing way. I'm the one who spends the most time Fronting, and Laura, one of the others, tends to act as my "co-pilot", if that makes sense. In fact, she's the one who made me realize our plurality in the first place, because she spends a lot of time acting as my internal monologue, or something like that, repeating my words back to me or acting as the voice in my head, either individually or fused with my own when we're more closely co-fronting. Investigating why I instinctively said "we" when discussing things in my mind was the first thread that lead to our self-realization. So you can imagine my surprise yesterday when, out of nowhere, her voice is instantly replaced with another, much screechier voice, that just replaces hers out of nowhere! I immediately get scared and call out for her, and I hear her voice, but it's as if it's coming from the bottom of a well. Instinctively, I try to forcibly draw her back up towards me, and I immediately receive the image of her being forcibly ejected from a body of water. It's only after this that we have enough presence of mind to notice the screeching green parrot that's flying around, who definitely wasn't part of the system before. It's like he just manifested in Front and forcibly ejected Laura out of nowhere! We've all made up with Oswald now (that's his name), but it was really crazy to feel this happening. Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen to them?

Hi all. We're new to plurality, you might have seen our introductory post a few days back. I'm the host of a system that very rarely switches, usually only temporarily during high-stress situations. I know non-switching systems are a thing, and maybe that's just what we are, but I've started to feel like I should give my headmates more of a chance to come up front, assuming they want to and it's safe to do so. However, we've been having some real trouble with it. We've tried following guided meditations, and they...sort of work? I'm able to numb my bodily sensations somewhat, and they might possibly have been able to slightly twitch a finger or two? But the effect was small enough that I genuinely can't tell if it really was them or if it was just me doing it because I expected it to happen. Fundamentally, there seem to be a couple of things standing in the way: firstly, my own anxiety. No matter how much I might trust my headmates, I just can't quite shake the fear that something bad will happen if I truly try to let go of control, like I won't be able to come back or something. Not to get too deep into our own backstory, but all those years spent as a Conservative Christian might also have messed me up with deep-rooted fears about "demonic possession" or such, however much we may have left that behind. Secondly, I just can't seem to ever fully stop being alert or aware of my surroundings. I seem to have this constant, passive "surveillance" that's always going on, like there's a part of my mind that's permanently on lookout duty for anything inside or outside that might be dangerous. That's probably connected to the first point, and it might even be the case that this is one of my protectors running without my even realizing it.

So yeah, it's been quite the experience. On the plus side, I think we did co-front for a few minutes after the attempt, so maybe it was partially successful? Oh, and we also realised a new Headmate's existence during the process, so I wouldn't say that it was a loss or anything!

Anyway, thanks for all your time. We'd just like to get other systems' perspectives on this, if you have any advice.

Hi all. I (we?), uh, just discovered plurality, and am feeling...strange about it. I don't know if the term fits me (us?) exactly, but...ever since learning about the phenomenon, I haven't been able to get the idea out of my (our?) head. There's simply too much that fits to discard the idea completely. Here, making a list would probably be easier:

• Probably the single biggest indicator to me is that when I heard about plurality, headmates, and such, I instinctively understood and accepted the concept rather than finding it at all strange. It seems...doubtful to me that a true singlet would find the concept of plurality so normal.
• I've always felt drawn to fictional concepts of plurality (for example, hive minds, Biomerge Digivolution from Digimon Tamers, Warhammer Fantasy's Luthor Harkon, Plato's myth of the Androgyne, etc). The idea of becoming plural has always been highly appealing to me. Add to that a love of physically-depicted mental spaces (hello, Psychonauts!) and...well, that looks like evidence for something, doesn't it?
• Am neurodivergent (autistic, possible ADHD but that one's not certified), and had a pretty rough childhood at times.
• Sometimes, without noticing, I start referring to myself in the plural, usually when thinking consciously about an issue (ie, trying to solve a problem almost inevitably becomes "what are we going to do about it?, or so what are we going to have happen next?"). It's possible that this might just be my internal monologue, but it's largely absent most of the time, only showing up when I need to consciously reason through a topic or problem.
• I rarely dissociate, but it (or something like it) has happened occasionally. If I'm very tired and going through monotonous actions at my job, or if I'm suddenly hit with a trauma trigger, it can sometimes feel like I "need" to do something and my conscious mind becomes kind of more like a driver than someone who's "fully in there". Last week I was unexpectedly traumatized, and had to run out of the house. During that period, I felt like I was riding on my own shoulders, having to consciously, almost verbally give orders to myself to not do things that might put me in danger, like running into the road. I wouldn't go quite so far as to say that I wasn't in my body or aware, but the desire to do something stupid and cathartic was almost overpowering. It felt kind of like the mental equivalent of having to grab my own wrists, if that makes any sense.
• Also, I sometimes get into mental arguments with fictional representations of people that I really despise, and when I do that, I tend to imagine them awfully vividly, to the point where I'll actually get genuinely angry and upset, complete with heavy breathing and everything.
• The thing that gives me pause is that I don't feel anywhere near the same level of distinctness among parts that many systems here describe, and the idea of straight up allowing another person to "take over" sounds strange to me. Though, now that i think of it, sort of similar things have sometimes happened, but only in response to strong stressors (IE, a much more ruthless, vengeful, and animalistic personality taking over when real or perceived danger is present). I'm not sure if you could meaningfully refer to what I have as Headmates so much as Parts. After hearing about the concept of Headmates, I have been able to consciously design physical appearances for them, but I don't typically think of them that way, except for Laura (the aforementioned internal monologue/dialogue self - she in turn got her name because the name "Laura" would regularly just insert itself into my mind with absolutely zero prompting, and would also inevitably be the first thing that came to mind whenever I wanted to think of a female name). They're also usually pretty quiet. Then again, maybe we just prefer to be that way? Alternatively, maybe I spent years suppressing them? Both are certainly possible.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my (our?) disconnected ramblings. This is...a community that I (we?) find deeply interesting. Even if it turns out not to fit me (us?) exactly, I still feel the strong desire to be with and ally with plural systems. You're all just so...interesting and wonderful and living that way just feels so right and natural. Thank you.