u/No_Novel_Tan

I'm out to my parents, but we haven't had a talk about what it actually means. I'm looking for a "guide to trans loved ones/trans kids" to give them. Every time I visit them, I lose my nerve. So any guide besides the PFLAG one (I've already seen it) would be helpful. Especially if you actually used it. Just somwthing to explain it - something that emphasizes that supporting them is necessary and/or includes nonbinary folk in its definitions.

I did say when coming out that I want a new name. That's the most immediate thing I want to talk about - one step at a time and all that. And I just don't have the guts to say it. So hearing everyone deadname and "daughter" me sucks when they know something is up with me gender wise. So clearly I got some explaining to do.

On things I thought weren't bad. Bought a work wardrobe that, when the day of wearing them to work came, didn’t *actually* fit like I swore they did before. Receipt lost at that point.

Put my card down for a restaurant with friends with expectations of being paid back...hasn't happened yet.

Why is it always the shit I either did need or had planned for in a certain way?! It's fucking frustrating.

(And all this on top of an eating disorder which...is a wholly different type of psychological problem than overspending, so I'm dead in the water in that regard until I get fixed.)

So much spent. I'm hurt. Angry. Wasting money.

I'm making the conworld/culture for my conlang first. I'm losing the drive to start now because I've spent so much time on the world that this language (my first real conlang) can't possibly measure up to the complexity of the world. It's not like Tolkien-esque, but it's the most worldbuilding I've ever done.

Anxiety. I wanted to draft a world so my language has context, but now this most amateur hobby will obviously be ass, and waste all my effort on the world. How do I deal with this?

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I am starting T soon and I am shitting my pants regarding extended family. Everyone talks about coming out to your parents and the closest, but I don't hear anything or know anything about the larger family. My extended family is huge and *close.* They will ask my parents how I'm doing, am I married. They will come visit my parents' place and see me. They will come in droves when I graduate, which I want to do with a different name. I can maybe just not show the diploma to them, but what the fuck do I do when I have facial hair or my voice sounds different??? And what about the ones who come to the ceremony? What did you all do? Do I just tell my parents to deal with it? Do we all stay quiet and then not explain why my voice is deeper??? Do my parents switch to deadname when they're around? (my parents don't even know I have a new name yet, thats a bridge to cross) What the hell do you do about extended family???!!! Especially big, African, religious, immigrant ones who I highly suspect will have...not good opinions on the subject. Lord.

Or am I fuckin up by starting T without resolving all that first? How did the people who started hormones without coming out doing it?

I am starting T soon and I am shitting my pants regarding extended family. Everyone talks about coming out to your parents and the closest, but I don't hear anything or know anything about the larger family. My extended family is huge and *close.* They will ask my parents how I'm doing, am I married. They will come visit my parents' place and see me. They will come in droves when I graduate, which I want to do with a different name. I can maybe just not show the diploma to them, but what the fuck do I do when I have facial hair or my voice sounds different??? And what about the ones who come to the ceremony? What did you all do? Do I just tell my parents to deal with it? Do we all stay quiet and then not explain why my voice is deeper??? Do my parents switch to deadname when they're around? (my parents don't even know I have a new name yet, thats a bridge to cross) What the hell do you do about extended family???!!! Especially big, POC, religious, immigrant ones who I highly suspect will have...not good opinions on the subject. Lord.

Or am I fuckin up by starting T without resolving all that first? How did the people who started hormones without coming out doing it?